tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44895251555912298432024-02-01T23:28:15.890-05:00MY LIFE: PERPETUAUnbroken. Lasting. Continuous in Him.Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.comBlogger88125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-92217411756280863372016-08-02T01:17:00.000-04:002016-08-02T01:17:01.126-04:00thoughts on Left Behind and the passing of Tim LaHaye<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Wow, I haven't been on this blog in forever!! I wouldn't even be on here unless I had started a Facebook post that went to memo on my phone, that then went to this blog post once I realized the length was better suited for this format. I kinda didn't want to post on here, because I'd love to revamp my blog and I hate for everyone to see it in its shabby state, but since that won't be happening until I get into a season where I can write more consistently, here I am.</i></span><br />
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I have listened to Christian contemporary music for pretty much my whole life, but if you read enough blog posts and listen to enough people, you begin to reject the entire genre as shallow, basic, and meaningless in the life of a "mature" believer. Well I recently went back and decided to listen to the music I grew up on and was pleasantly reminded that the majority of the stuff I enjoyed was firmly rooted in Scripture, theologically sound, and very edifying. While there were definitely songs that had questionable meaning and pointless repetition (how many times do you need to say "yeah" in a Christian song??), for the most part the music consistently pointed me to Jesus, His attributes, and how to look and live like Him. I was convicted that I had allowed others' passionate stances (though sometimes correct when speaking of specific songs or artists) to shape my view of a genre that God was clearly using to bring glory to Himself. (Sidenote: I don't listen to much Christian contemporary music these days, so I can't speak for much of what is on the radio now, but I know that in my formative years, the stuff I was hearing on the radio was mostly solid.)<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://img.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_480w/2010-2019/WashingtonPost/2016/07/25/Obituaries/Images/Merlin_491687.jpg?uuid=vDgRyFKIEeaI633aTi8q7A" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://img.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_480w/2010-2019/WashingtonPost/2016/07/25/Obituaries/Images/Merlin_491687.jpg?uuid=vDgRyFKIEeaI633aTi8q7A" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Tim LaHaye (left) and Jerry Jenkins,<br />coauthors of Left Behind series.<br />Photo courtesy of Google Images.</i></td></tr>
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If you're following that train of thought, let's move on to what this post is about, which is <i>Left Behind</i>. <a href="http://www.relevantmagazine.com/slices/left-behind-co-author-tim-lahaye-has-died-age-90" target="_blank">Tim LaHaye, the coauthor of the <i>Left Behind</i> series recently passed away</a>, and hearing about his death moved me. Shamefully, I second guessed posting anything about him on my Facebook page. Allowing the fear of man to take preeminence in my thoughts, I turned over and over in my mind what people in my current circles would think of me if I showed my support of one of the main men behind the best-selling and controversial<i> Left Behind</i> series. Various blogs and Facebook posts that I'd read over the past few years came to mind, all written by believers who scorned the book series and often the men behind it. Similarly to my example with the music, over time I allowed others' views to shape the way I recalled <i>even my own personal experiences</i>, and soon I pushed to the back my mind and then forgot altogether the impact the <i>Left Behind</i> books had on me.<br />
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So before <a href="http://babylonbee.com/" target="_blank">The Babylon Bee</a> decides to satirize <i>Left Behind</i>, and before I begin to see negative comments that will discourage me from saying anything at all, I would like to share some (mostly) positive thoughts of how the Lord used these books in my own life growing up. Now, <b>I would like to be clear before I start</b>: though I was once a dedicated reader of all things <i>Left Behind</i>, <b>I no longer encourage the reading of these books</b>. Though what you'll find here is a predominately positive perspective of my experience of how the books shaped my thinking growing up, as you read further on I will explain why I now have a differing view.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/33/The_Vanishings_(Left_Behind_Book).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/33/The_Vanishings_(Left_Behind_Book).jpg" width="193" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Photo courtesy of Google Images.</i></td></tr>
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As a kid, I read nearly all the <i>Left Behind</i> Kids books. There are 40 of them, ya'll. FORTY. I was a young believer and hungry to get in as much of the Word in whatever form I could. From the time I became a Christian, I knew I believed every word of the Word, yet I struggled to understand so much of it. If I was skimming over the book of James because I couldn't understand how faith and works reconcile, <i>you better believe</i> I was nervous about trying to figure out Revelation.<br />
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Though I would tell myself to skip over it, I simply couldn't resist reading this final book of God's Word. I was overwhelmed and amazed by descriptions of heaven, the future home of all Christians, those who have repented of their sins and have in faith turned to and believed in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. I remember frequently bursting into tears just thinking and reading about <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation+7%3A9-17&version=ESV" target="_blank">people from every tribe, nation, and tongue worshiping before the throne of our Almighty God for eternity</a> (I am tearing up now just thinking about it!). I remember lying on my back in bed, closing my eyes, and literally giving myself a HEADACHE trying to imagine all of the glory that my finite human mind could not and cannot grasp about God and heaven. I was (and am!) humbled and amazed that a holy, perfect God has made a way for broken and unworthy people like myself to be in relationship with Him.<br />
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Now, bring in the Age of <i>Left Behind</i>. I don't remember how old I was when I started reading the kids series of Left Behind (early middle school, most likely), but I know that once I started, I was hooked. I thought, <i>Finally someone could tell me [a fictional representation] of what all this stuff in Revelation means! </i><br />
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I remember getting home from school once and seeing that my parents had gotten me one of the latest books. (Shout out the parents for fostering and encouraging my love of reading! I am cheesing now just thinking about my reaction that day. I was such a book nerd, ya'll.) My face lit up; a smile spread across my face. I absentmindedly kicked off my shoes, and my book bag hit the floor with a thud. I rushed to the kitchen counter and grabbed the book, scanning the bright yellow sticky note that my mom had attached. (I was probably supposed to do chores or something before starting it, but who has time for chores when you have a new book to read??) Once in the living room I dragged the heavy ottoman over to my favorite reading spot, the light brown, leopard-spotted easy chair that my parents own to this day. It had just the right amount of give when you sat down in it--not too hard, not too cushy. I curled up in the seat, and with bated breath, opened the book to enter a world incredibly different than the one I knew. And for all I knew, this <i>was </i>the world to come.<br />
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Now like I said before, guys, I was <i>already </i>an avid reader. When I get into a story, it comes to life in my mind, to the extent that when trying to recall it later on, I'll question whether I am thinking of a movie scene or of a book. But reading <i>Left Behind</i> was unlike my experiences with other books. These stories appealed to what I deeply desired as a young Christian: to understand the Word fully, with all mysteries revealed and to know how every line directly applied to me. <br />
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Somewhere in the 30s of the series, I started skipping around in the order of the books and eventually went straight to the end. I just wanted to know how it all ENDS!! To be honest, I don't even remember how the series ended. But what I clearly remember to this day are things that I felt--the things the books made me FEEL--as I read them.<br />
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<u>I felt amazement</u> at God. This human mind will never be able to fully understand the fullness of who God is, or be able to fully grasp His knowledge or attain His wisdom and understanding. It amazed me that the God of the Old Testament is the same God of the New, that He has kept and continues to keep His Word. What He says will be done, will be done. He always keeps His promises; He always fulfills His Word. While I know now that we're not all be on the same page about how the future will come to pass, <i>the details in the books made me marvel at God</i> and His attention to detail in <i>all </i>things, end times-related and beyond. Whether I understand all the details matters less than finding peace and comfort in the fact that <i>He does</i> know all the details, and He will complete His plan.<br />
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<u>I felt confused</u>. I didn't get how people were still becoming Christians in the books if the "age of grace'" had ended, in which there was supposedly no longer a chance for people to hear and believe the gospel.<i> If people are able to get saved after the rapture, then maybe it would be better for me to not be saved right now, so that I can maybe be around to share the gospel with people who don't know it if the rapture happens soon!</i> (If you've read the books, then this line of thinking makes total sense.) These were the thoughts floating around in my middle school brain. In a weird way, the books made me feel guilty for being a Christian now, versus during the post-rapture times of the characters. Man, I am getting confused again just writing this. Moving along...<br />
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<u>I felt fearful</u>. <i>When is Jesus coming back? Am I really ready? Am I really saved? What if I get left behind? What if friends or family members get left behind?</i> The fear that I am talking about here was not a fear of God that led me to rightly revere and stand in awe of Him. It is one that left me scared and uncertain and questioning everything, including whether God had really even saved me. There were times that I felt more anxiety than anticipation about the return of Christ. But by God's grace, in the midst of all that....<br />
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<u>I felt hopeful</u>. For all its flaws, <i>Left Behind</i> <b>made me long for heaven</b>, ya'll. Though I don't believe the series translated into a proper exegesis of Revelation and end times theology, the characters in the kids <i>Left Behind</i> books truly reminded me that Jesus is WORTH living for. Jesus is WORTH dying for. Jesus is WORTH losing everyone and everything because HE. IS. EVERYTHING. My middle school heart knew it, believed it, and wanted <strike>it</strike> Him! And as a little sidenote/stream of consciousness/rabbit trail, ya know, as a young believer I never quite understood how there can be Christians who are not joyful at the thought of spending eternity with God. I have encountered so many people that seem to falter at the thought of longing for heaven, throwing around phrases like, "Well, when you're too heavenly minded, you're no earthly good!" Well, I don't know about you guys, but when I read verses and sing songs about standing before God's throne, worshiping with His saints in glorified bodies for all of eternity, beholding the face of my dear Savior whose blood ransomed me, I am <i>hopeful</i>! I am <i>joyful</i>! And even more than that, being reminded of heaven <i>makes me want to serve God all the more</i> while I am here on earth! In God's kindness He used the books to grow in me a greater longing to <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+3%3A7-10&version=ESV" target="_blank">count all as loss for the sake of knowing Him</a>. They made me want to <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+3%3A7-10&version=ESV" target="_blank">know Him, and the power of His resurrection and fellowship of His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death</a>. They made me want to spend whatever time I had left on this earth fully to the glory of God and in His service.<br />
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My understanding of the end times no longer quite aligns with what I once thought (i.e., <i>Left Behind</i> story line in general, with people evaporating as part of the rapture, literal interpretations of much of the imagery in Revelation and other end times prophecy, etc.), and because of that, <b>I no longer encourage the reading of Tim LaHaye's <i>Left Behind</i> books</b>. While God has certainly gifted so many people to be able to write about and dramatize certain lessons and themes found in His Word which can allow us to better understand and apply the truths found in it, I believe <u>there is great danger when we attempt to take away all the mystery of God and His Word by trying to put it into a form that the human mind can understand</u>. It is a natural thing to try to grasp and understand everything around us. We like to categorize and fit things into a neat little box that can be explained, but something that I have learned and am continuing to learn is that I will never be able to fully grasp the vastness and glory and beauty and knowledge of God and His (perfect and inerrant) Word. Even as I write this, this verse from Psalm 139 popped into my head, and I echo David's sentiments: <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+139%3A6&version=NIV" target="_blank">Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain</a>.<br />
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Another danger, and the main one that leads me to discourage others from reading these books, is that <u>people can begin to form their entire view of what the Word says based on a fictional book</u>. I mean, that's pretty much what I did. I wouldn't have said so, but I realized that as I would read portions of Revelation after reading through the <i>Left Behind</i> series, I would constantly be trying to matching the Bible up to the book, instead of the book up to the Bible. Trying to force man's imperfect thoughts and interpretations onto the perfection of God's Word is not the way we are meant to study and know the Bible. It is both unhelpful and unhealthy. It is best to form our basis of understanding and interpretation of the Word based on the Word itself, not other forms of literature. (That applies to other things too, like going to John Piper first instead of the Word when I want to research something...but I'm just preaching to myself here...) It is true that God can and does use flawed means to draw people to Himself, and I hope that He does do that for the people that will continue to read his books. However, just because God can use it for good does not mean that these are resources we should be pointing people to. The Bible is always the final authority and should therefore be the basis of all things we seek understanding on, both for this life and the next.<br />
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Final thoughts: I know many of ya'll are passionate about end times theology (which made me hesitant to write this at all), but before you try to engage me in any sort of debate using words like post- and pre-millennialism, dispensationalism, and more, please, <i>just don't</i> (and I say that with all the kindness in my heart). Remember those headaches that I said I would get when I though about heaven? <i>I still get them</i>. And when you start throwing words like that in there, you can totally expect for my brain to turn to a fog, my eyes to glaze over, and for me to completely zone out from the conversation. This is not to say that I will not study the Word and seek out some general understanding of where I stand on biblical eschatology. Revelation and other prophecy about the end times are in the Word for a reason! I am simply still learning (and open to resources you may want to share!). And wouldn't ya know, there are many awesome, gospel-believing, gospel-preaching, and gospel-living people out there who have varying views on how it all goes down at the end, but the one thing we can all agree on though is that JESUS WINS. He WINS! And He reigns! He IS coming again (come soon, Lord!). I wholeheartedly agree with this quote by John Piper: "Let me stress that the disagreement over pre- and post-tribulationism is not one that I think should threaten our fellowship. It should not be divisive. The things on which we agree are so stupendous as to overwhelm our hearts in common love for the Lord and His appearing. Let us not make the second coming a center of controversy, but a cause for worship and earnest hope."<br />
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I don't know much else about the man aside from the fact that he co-authored the <i>Left Behind</i> books, but from what I do know, I believe that Tim LaHaye is in heaven with Jesus right now. And as a fellow believer, we should have some measure of grace for him, whether we agree with his end times views or not. For whatever he may have wrong, he got the basics right. He believed in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus on behalf of sinners, and that all who repent of their sins and turn to Him in faith will be saved. His faith was evidenced by the life he lived, and what a glorious place he is in now. As for the rest of us? - <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+10%3A23&version=NASB" target="_blank">Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful</a>!<br />
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<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation+22%3A20&version=ESV" target="_blank">Surely, He is coming soon</a>.<br />
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Come soon, Lord Jesus!<br />
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Helpful Resource:<br />
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<a href="http://www.delraybaptist.org/Media/Bible%20Boot%20Camp%20Outline%20-%20Revelation.pdf" target="_blank">Bible Bootcamp on Revelation</a> - It's basically an accelerated study through the book of Revelation. The link is just the outline, but hopefully the audio will be added soon!<br />
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Song for Thought:<br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdSXW53kvI0" target="_blank">The Millennium</a> by Shai Linne - Fun fact for ya: This song is the first time I EVER heard or realized that not everyone thinks the same way about the end times. Crazy, right? It is also what got me started on wanting to study and learn more about what the Bible says on the topic.<br />
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If you have helpful resources to suggest, feel free to share!<br />
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AshleyAshleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-11441829307469774392015-09-03T14:16:00.002-04:002015-09-03T14:16:59.247-04:00one year, one month, and one day later...It has been exactly one year, one month, and one day since I last published on this blog. I say <i>published </i>vs. <i>wrote </i>because I've started a few posts and never got around to finishing them to share with you guys. It is simply incredible how quickly time flies by and the amount of things that can happen in this span of time.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7swv8wwhPrAUZnWIT_mTxM7kjV7WUMQEWwxKUVGkvZz-R5rtR3AiYFPJEdSSB7i7V7ZX6W2NBKTJCFhN7TbwA4Kg12x4nxD_csX0AV4TrtTyDmblC1_hoT50NqfReyqOCHnulgEk6NFg/s1600/20141024_023925.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7swv8wwhPrAUZnWIT_mTxM7kjV7WUMQEWwxKUVGkvZz-R5rtR3AiYFPJEdSSB7i7V7ZX6W2NBKTJCFhN7TbwA4Kg12x4nxD_csX0AV4TrtTyDmblC1_hoT50NqfReyqOCHnulgEk6NFg/s320/20141024_023925.jpg" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The hubs with brand spankin' new Benaiah.</td></tr>
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The last time you heard from me I was 28 weeks pregnant with my little boy. Well, let me assure you, he has been out of the womb for quite a while now! ;-) My handsome little Chunkaman was born October of last year. His name is Benaiah Jude. Benaiah means, <i>Yahweh builds up</i>. He is now 10 months old and the amount of joy he has brought into our home cannot be summed up into a few sentences or even a few blog posts for that matter! Naomi and Benaiah get along really well the majority of the time. Chunka loves his big sister so much, and often tries to share his affection by tackling her and planting slobbery kisses all over her face and bites on her arms (thankfully he doesn't have teeth yet!). Since he's only 5 pounds lighter than her (he got his nickname for a reason), she doesn't always appreciate him tossing his weight around on her, but oftentimes she'll wrestle him right back. :)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2 year old Naomi and 9 month old Benaiah! I was caught red handed trying to climb on his sister. The way nearly every wrestling match begins. ;) Love watching the two of them grow up together!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Third -- due Christmas Eve!</td></tr>
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I am chuckling to myself even as I type this next update because it's going to sound so crazy!! But trust me, it's real. So you know you a year ago I was 28 weeks pregnant? Well, right now, as of today, I am 24 weeks pregnant with baby #3!! Now I know most of you who get my posts have known this for a while now, but of course I had to share with the world wide web. ;) I am literally shaking my head and smiling because it's just crazy to think I'll have kids so close in age!! I am due Christmas Eve 2015, and when this little one arrives I will officially have three kids under the age of three. The hubs and I have clearly been keeping busy, in more ways than one haha. ;) We are looking forward to Third (as we affectionately call him/her--we're keeping the gender a surprise!) arriving in 4 short months. So far baby is super active. I have been feeling and seeing kicks much, much earlier than my first two pregnancies. I am tired pretty much all time, due in parts to the fact that I have a two year old and a ten month old, I regularly forget to take my vitamins, plus I'm pregnant! Ha. But I had barely any morning sickness which is definitely the Lord's kindness to me.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our pregnancy announcement for Third.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsa3PgvMiokjHdnnOO9txbxOuBKju5SBrwL1tnUu7TTOtQzFcdu-AA7TmecQoIGf0bnlaWZHo8isnUYq9uEhY69Cllcg8qQQuukb_Mn7_jXuQpkOU3zISM6REENJSLra49XbSK0OFXfyc/s1600/IMG_20150828_111217.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsa3PgvMiokjHdnnOO9txbxOuBKju5SBrwL1tnUu7TTOtQzFcdu-AA7TmecQoIGf0bnlaWZHo8isnUYq9uEhY69Cllcg8qQQuukb_Mn7_jXuQpkOU3zISM6REENJSLra49XbSK0OFXfyc/s320/IMG_20150828_111217.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and my 10 month old Chunka -- He was giving me love bites ;)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our family!! The Lord is so kind.</td></tr>
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There is so, so much more that I would like to share, and Lord willing I will be posting on here more frequently! Some things you can be looking forward to are Benaiah's birth story (I'll probably share that around his first birthday--ahh!!), what we have been up to as a family, how I've been growing spiritually, what I'm reading, and of COURSE what I'm eating (nope, haven't changed a bit!). :) Here's hoping for much more consistent blog posts in the future!<br />
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-23940398666501571552014-08-02T12:48:00.001-04:002014-08-02T12:48:42.477-04:00week 28 of pregnancy:::::hello, third trimester!So much for writing every two weeks or so! More like every two months... At this rate my next post will be after my little cub is born!! Oh well. This has been a pretty busy summer, and blogging just got put on the back burner. Plus, it was easy to take weekly pictures of my belly when I was pregnant with Naomi because I didn't have a little one (her!) to chase around yet. Now my phone is filled with pictures of her and hardly any of myself. Which is perfectly fine, except when I actually want pictures of myself to document for my sweet boy. Oh well.<br />
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So I'm currently 28 weeks, 3 days, and it has been an interesting start to the third trimester! (Yes, you read that correctly: THIRD TRIMESTER. Where in the world did the time go!?) This past Thursday, the hubs and I officially decided to switch healthcare providers. So if all goes according to plan (work with me, baby boy!!), we'll be having baby #2 in a birthing center instead of the hospital! I am really excited about this, as I have been struggling with anxiety over being the hospital again... (another post, another day...maybe). The anxiousness is still something the Lord is working on me about, and it's a constant surrender to Him. All things for the good though, right?<br />
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So I guess I'll get to the questions about the pregnancy progress. Since it's been so long since I last updated, I don't know that I'll actually catch up on the entire past 8 weeks. I'll see what I can do though. :-)<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b style="font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">How Far Along:</b><span style="font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;"> 28 weeks, 3 days. 12 weeks to go!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Total Weight Gain:</b> I think about 7 pounds...crazy, right!? I feel like it's got to be more than that. More than likely, the weight gain will end up being the same as last time and I'll just pack on the pounds at the very end. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Maternity Clothes:</b> So I've really got to invest in some maternity shorts, because the way I have to finagle myself into the current pairs of shorts I have is absolutely ridiculous. I remember one day when there was this outfit I was looking forward to wearing. I put it on and felt like someone had just zipped me into a wet suit that was three sizes too small. (At least, that's what I imagine a wet suit would feel like...) I didn't feel like changing after all the energy it took to put the outfit on, but from simply walking from my bedroom upstairs to the living room downstairs to trying to sit on the floor, I became short of breath. Too...*gasp*...tight!!!!! So I struggled back up the stairs into something less attractive but much, much more comfortable. The moral of the story is... I need to stop trying to fit my pregnant bod into my non-pregnancy clothes.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Stretch Marks:</b> (So I'm just gonna copy and paste from last time, guys...) The ones from last time are just slightly more visible since my stomach is growing. I can't really tell if I have more or not. I'm just trying to keep the belly moisturized to hopefully prevent getting any more than I have to!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Sleep: </b>My little cub does not want me to sleep. But I always feel so tired! So it's rather sad. Just last night I was laying in bed wondering why he was choosing that exact time to practice martial arts in my belly.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Best Moment of This Week:</b> If I remember correctly, Thursday was probably the best day this week. I was able to have some super edifying fellowship with two other moms and all our kids were able to play together while we chatted. The Lord is so timely and true to His Word, and I'm so thankful for the reminder and encouragement I got from that time! Later in the day, the hubs and I went to the birthing center for the first time this pregnancy, and I was so excited about the experience there. We were there nearly 2 hours (mostly from time with the midwife), and it wasn't like your typical doctors office visit. The rest of the evening was pretty exhausting, but that's okay. Oh yes!! Another moment was when Jeremiah was changing Naomi's diaper. She all of a sudden developed a bad diaper rash that was really bothering her, so she was bawling her eyes out during the diaper change. I wasn't in the room, but I could hear the hubs comforting her while he changed her. Then when he was done, he began singing "I Feel Better" from Doc McStuffins to her! He loves his baby girl :-) </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>What I Miss:</b> Same as last time, guys....Fitting all my clothes! Except now there are even more things I can't fit. Alas. The sis in law actually gave me some stuff she was giving away, so there are a few things I've been able to add to my wardrobe (skirts...elastic waistbands ftw!) I just can't bring myself to spend a ton of money on maternity stuff though!! grrr... I'll stop now, since this isn't the maternity clothes section.... Oh, I also miss sleeping on my belly, and being able to turn over in bed without feeling like I have to pick up my stomach with my hands. lol. Oh and not having to pee every 10 minutes. Okay, that's all. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Baby Movement:</b> I've got an active one, ya'll!! Even though I've been feeling my little cub move for months now, I still am shocked by many of his movements. I can definitely see his movements, though I wish I could distinguish what body part of his that I'm seeing! I love the hubs being able to feel and see his son in my belly though. :-)</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Craving:</b> My cravings still fluctuate quite a bit. When I want something, I really want it, typically not for long though. For example, I really wanted to make these meatballs that my best friend, Nikki, had been raving about for the longest. So I got the recipe from her mom and all the ingredients, but due to being really busy I had to put off making it for days. By the time I made them, the craving had passed :-( I ended up giving the whole meal to my family since the hubs is picky and doesn't eat meatballs lol. They loved them, thankfully. Right now, I'm wanting some curry chicken and roti, and I'm hoping I can convince my older sis and her hubs to make some for me soon :-) I've been liking Burger King's fries lately, but only if I have ranch dressing to eat them with. Weird, I know.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Queasiness:</b> I only seem to feel queasy when I don't eat when I should. And if I've waited that long to eat, I'm more than just queasy; I'm also moody/irritable and fairly antisocial. The cure? Feed me! And sleep seems to help. :-) </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Pregnancy Side Effects: </b>I'm still having some strong Braxton Hicks contractions. When I have them, my chest tightens, head starts to hurt, and then when it passes, I'm pretty much back to normal. Labor prep, I suppose. Thankfully I'm not having as many as I was before because I've been doing much better with drinking fluids. I've been pretty tired lately, but it's hard to say if it's from the pregnancy only, or from having a busy summer and chasing around baby girl. :-) Probably a mix of both. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Mood:</b> Still soooo excited to meet my sweet boy! Whenever I look at how big Naomi is getting or some of her baby pictures, I just start looking forward to holding my little boy even more!! Love him to pieces already. I'm still praying through some anxiety I have about the postpartum period... I welcome prayers about that. I've definitely made progress though. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Looking Forward To:</b> "Mood" and "Looking Forward To" seem pretty much the same in my mind, but yes, I'm looking forward to my son's arrival, as well as starting to choose some things we need for him. We literally are starting all over again! We gave away the majority of Naomi's stuff as she grew out of it, so aside from a swing, changing table, dresser, and diaper pail, pretty much everything is needed. Even if hadn't given it all away, everything was pink anyway! We may be moving to another place, so we're looking forward to seeing if that works out for us. I mentioned last time that we'd like to travel to Texas as well as the beach, but this summer is flying by so quickly, it's hard to say for sure if that'll be happening! I'll keep ya'll posted though :-)</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Hopefully I'll be able to post more frequently! I'm on my phone much more than I'm on my computer, but even though I have the blogger app, I can type soo much faster on the laptop, so I end up not posting much (clearly). But I have some recipes I can share, as well as my busy month of June, and some things the Lord has been doing in my life and in my family, so yeah, I hope I can make it happen soon. :-)</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Here's the cherry on top to this post: an adorable picture of my snugglebug. :-) Have a great weekend!!</span></div>
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<br />Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-45310174887333604722014-06-12T14:10:00.002-04:002014-06-12T14:10:40.381-04:00it's a...... (week 21 of pregnancy)<div dir="ltr">
I can't believe I've actually passed the halfway mark of this pregnancy! Time is flying by much faster than when I was pregnant with Naomi. I think since I have her occupying the majority of my time, I'm not marking every single day and week that passes quite like last time.</div>
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Baby's due October 22, which was exciting to my brother because that's the day after his birthday. I was due in March last time, so now I'm enduring the summer heat in its entirety. So far it's not so bad, but it's also not officially summer yet. I love the heat typically, but while pregnant I feel like a little oven!</div>
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Okay I won't draw this out much longer. I know all you really want to know is the gender of our newest little one. Let me clarify something for you guys though. We've known the gender for awhile now, probably about 10 weeks (yep, over two months!). At my first or second prenatal visit, we were filling out paperwork about which genetic tests we wanted to have done. I didn't have any last time, and we opted out this time as well. At least initially we did. We found out that one of the tests (can't remember what it tested for) could also find out the gender as long as I was at least 9 weeks along. As soon as Jeremiah heard that he didn't have to wait months to find out the gender, he was all over that idea. Me, not so much (lol), but I went along with it. At the time I was just dismayed that they'd need additional blood other than what they were already taking. Plus I was dehydrated, so it took a reeeaalllly long time to get out what was needed. My arms were sore for weeks after that. Other than that no-fun experience, I truly am glad that we found out the gender early. Of course I'd be happy no matter what, but I had an extra squeal of excitement when I found out. :-)</div>
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Okay, okay, enough of the talk! Here's a pic from the latest anatomy scan, and it was re-confirmed....<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">IT'S A BOY!!!!</span></div>
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Can't wait to meet our precious little man. I know Naomi will be a great big sister to her little brother. :-)</div>
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I'm going to do posts either every week or every other week with pregnancy updates and belly pictures. It all depends on how much time I have and how I'm feeling! I'll use the same general format of questions as I did when I was pregnant with Naomi. Looking forward to sharing the last half of this pregnancy with you guys!</div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b style="font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">How Far Along:</b><span style="font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;"> 21 weeks, 1 day.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Total Weight Gain:</b> I have no idea... I definitely feel bigger at this time than I did when I was 21 weeks with Naomi, but since I don't own a scale it's hard to keep track.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Maternity Clothes:</b> Since it's so warm, I can get away with wearing dresses most of the time. (Maxi dresses for the win!!) I've been wearing my maternity skirts and dresses from last pregnancy, but I haven't invested in any maternity pants. I'm just trying to stretch my shirts to be long enough to cover my unbuttoned (and sometimes unzipped...) jeans!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Stretch Marks:</b> The ones from last time are just slightly more visible since my stomach is growing. I can't really tell if I have more or not. I'm just trying to keep the belly moisturized to hopefully prevent getting any more than I have to!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Sleep: </b>I was having the WORST dreams during the first trimester, but thankfully I haven't been having as many bad dreams lately. I'll usually start out the night sleeping on my side, but I end up changing positions a lot. All in all though, I'm sleeping pretty well.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Best Moment of This Week:</b> It's been a pretty ordinary week, but one thing that warmed my heart was in Bible study last night. We broke into small groups to pray, and when the woman I was with and I began to pray, 14 month old Naomi folded her hands and bowed her head! It's so exciting to see when things (especially spiritual things) are beginning to catch on. Now after a few minutes, she was trying to stick her binky in my mouth (I guess we were getting a bit long-winded for her haha). Such a sweet moment though.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>What I Miss:</b> Fitting all my clothes!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Baby Movement:</b> My sweet boy moves around quite a bit, and I've been feeling him move for weeks now! I absolutely love it. I can even see his movements from the outside of my belly, which is awesome.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Craving:</b> It changes all the time!! I'll be craving something and it'll be all I eat for two or three days. After those days are up, I'm absolutely sick of it and don't want to even see it haha. I can't say I'm craving anything in particular right now, though I have been eating quite a few chicken nuggets and taquitos lately...</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Queasiness:</b> Thank God, it seems like that has passed for good. Especially since I ran out of Zofran and I don't plan on refilling the prescription. (That stuff was AMAZING by the way.) Sometimes when I drink water on an empty stomach or while driving I'll get a little queasy though.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Pregnancy Side Effects: </b>Braxton Hicks contractions started much sooner this time. I've been feeling them for weeks!! And they're more uncomfortable now too. I can definitely notice a difference in the amount of them that i have when I'm drinking enough liquids or not though. My skin hasn't been breaking out as badly as first trimester, but the damage is done :-( So long, clear skin. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Mood:</b> Anticipation! With a hint of anxiety, which I'm praying through lol. I am incredibly excited to meet my baby boy, but there are so many other changes that are (potentially) happening in our lives right now that will affect us so I'm just waiting to see what the Lord will do!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Looking Forward To:</b> My son's arrival and some other decisions being finalized in our home/family! Also the BEACH, and hopefully going to visit my Grandma in Texas this summer so she can meet Naomi in person for the first time!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I'll be blogging again soon! Stay tuned!</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0px !important;" /></a>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-44796940059527154092014-05-19T10:00:00.000-04:002014-05-19T10:00:06.990-04:00redefining what a good day isI would typically define a good day as a day that's gone my way. A day where things went according to plan or better than planned. A day without mood swings and when happiness abounds. Anything opposite that? A not-so-good, potentially bad day. My perspective has been challenged lately though.<br />
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When I say "lately", it's not like I haven't always known that what goes on in a day shouldn't necessarily define it as good or bad. When you grow up with verses like <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%208:28&version=NIV" target="_blank">Romans 8:28</a> and <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=jeremiah%2029:11&version=NIV" target="_blank">Jeremiah 29:11</a> (respectively, the Husband and I's favorite verses), it's hard to forget that no matter what, God is in control and has a plan and even "bad" works for believers' good to the ultimate glory of God. With that being said though, I don't think I can honestly say that I have been living like I believe those Scriptures. So often I allow fear and worry to consume my thoughts, and then after the fact I remember, oh yeah, God's got this.<br />
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The Bestest (aka my best friend, aka Nikki, but we'll just stick with the Bestest) gave me a book a while back. It's called <a href="http://onethousandgifts.com/" target="_blank"><i>1000 Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are</i> by Ann Voskamp</a>. I simply cannot give a description of the book that would do it justice; it was <i>just that</i> challenging and amazing. But one thing I really pulled from the book is this: "All is grace." That phrase is repeated all throughout the book, and my summary of it is basically you count EVERYTHING (good and bad) as joy because God is ALL good; therefore, ALL is grace and worth giving thanks for.<br />
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I love this verse from Isaiah 14:<br />
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<i>"The LORD Almighty has sworn, 'Surely as I have planned it,</i></div>
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<i>so it will be, and as I have purposed so it will happen.'"</i></div>
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Reading this, it's clear that nothing happens outside of the sovereign knowledge and power of the Lord, and all that happens is for the ultimate best, which is His glory and magnification.</div>
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So where am I going with this, you ask? Well I was reading my Bible one morning in <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2016&version=NIV" target="_blank">Psalm 16</a>. Verse 2 really stood out to me:<br />
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<i>I say to the LORD, "You are my Lord;</i></div>
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<i>apart from you I have no good thing."</i></div>
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In the margins near the verse, at some point I had written these words: <i>"My goodness is nothing apart from You!"</i> and <i>"God is more than good; He is the ULTIMATE good!!"</i> When did I forget this? Somewhere along the line I once again began defining my days by what I thought was good, not on the God who defines good.<br />
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This is my challenge, to myself and you: when you come to the close of your day, or throughout your day as things arise, don't look at it and think, <i>Because this happened/didn't happen, my day is good/bad</i>. Instead, have the perspective that everything in my day happened in the knowledge of Almighty God and because it will work to my good and His glory, I count it as grace and thus praise Him for it! </div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-3822094873343599182014-05-13T10:00:00.000-04:002014-05-13T10:00:00.674-04:00mother's day 2014<div dir="ltr">
Happy belated Mother's Day to all the moms and mom-figures out there! I had <i>such </i>a wonderful 2nd Mother's Day. I am sooo blessed with an amazing mom. God was gracious to give me a mom who is in love with Him, and she is a great example of loving her husband (my daddy!) and children. It is such a blessing to have her as Naomi's Nana also! Annnnd, this Mother's day I'm happy to say that not only am I the mom to Naomi, but also to and another little one on the way!! I'll be 17 weeks on Wednesday. I know I keep saying that everything is a blessing, but really, it is a HUGE. BLESSING. to have another little one joining our family in October!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigkmmvd2ylQeiH6u4budx7NsvZ25oG1d2TgfiqY0rtMVD-ygrDn3H_0vL9UjEYaUNQb038WAV4Nz9-WLVWfw_Wwgm92sWIPWhyq9NhenLqAMTYXs4UgSbaSJFfuqkVs1hCpJ1O5Ld-37E/s1600/20140325_160030-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigkmmvd2ylQeiH6u4budx7NsvZ25oG1d2TgfiqY0rtMVD-ygrDn3H_0vL9UjEYaUNQb038WAV4Nz9-WLVWfw_Wwgm92sWIPWhyq9NhenLqAMTYXs4UgSbaSJFfuqkVs1hCpJ1O5Ld-37E/s1600/20140325_160030-1.jpg" height="276" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My little cub at about 8-9 weeks old.</td></tr>
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The hubs got everything ready for church the night before (we should really do that more regularly...), and I got to sleep in a bit longer than usual. I woke up to a squeaky clean kitchen and living room (yes!). He had me come downstairs while he made me breakfast. I had mentioned the day before that I'd like a breakfast sandwich, so that is what he made! I wish I would have taken a picture! It turned out super yummy from someone who rarely makes breakfast. Hehe. I sooo enjoyed watching him make it for me. Love that man so much! He had some cards laid out for me on the living room table so I opened my first one while I ate.</div>
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Naomi wore a pretty yellow dress that I fell in love with a month or two ago. I saved it just for Mother's day I was happy to wear a new dress that the hubs got me a few weeks ago. Love it! Yay for maxi dresses and warm weather. While pregnant, maxi dresses are also called miracle dresses. When I wore it, you could actually see a little belly! Sometimes I show a lot, and other times I just look like I ate a big meal, not like I'm pregnant. Anyways. I felt lovely either way! Hubs looked handsome as usual, and while we didn't match, we kinda coordinated! </div>
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Fast forward to church. Service was good, and I especially loved the hubs teaching in the adult Sunday School class, which he's doing for the whole month. After church my "leetle seester" Erin took some pictures of us on the grassy area behind the school where we meet for services. They turned out soooo amazing!! They were better than I thought they would turn out given the fact that Naomi wasn't too into the photo session lol. Once we left, we ran off to a couple stores to get some picture printed to give to my mom with her cards. She loved them so yay!</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Three generations!</td></tr>
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We ate some Chinese food at my parents' house, which was awesome because I'd been craving it for a while. The only Chinese food place in VA that I really like is by my parents' house, and the hubs and I live well out of delivery range. Since we're both pretty picky about our Chinese cuisine, it's super rare for us to eat it. Oh, and I also could have settled for some chicken fried rice from this Chinese place in Miami, but that wasn't exactly an option, hehe. Anyways, it was fun hanging out and eating with the fam, as well as opening cards. I got some very nice ones from everyone! Naomi was fun to watch as she interacted with her uncles and Nana and Grandpapa. Great time! (Again: why. did. I. not. take. PICTURES!!?! alas.)</div>
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The hubs and I stopped at home for about 30 minutes to relax and pick up a few things before heading to King Street. (Yet another place no pictures were taken...) Aside from heavy smoke in some areas as well as some...questionable things we saw, it was a really great time. Being there brought back so many memories of when we would hang out there while dating, and it was nice to go there with our growing family.</div>
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I truly had a great, GREAT day! It was an amazing start to the week. So blessed!</div>
Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-63640150735924073072014-05-12T18:41:00.002-04:002014-05-12T18:41:53.762-04:00no facebook: day 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqOfpIHfU-Yf4agSiW4N__RjCrQnGRrTGtt1kwCa9CDky4AoZZfsArvVnUlieXVYi0bL1uHcmTg8h3R9bS24w1qn-c8zY_ul2HU7HtCmp-qYHacq6GnP3tlhIQ84DyI9ZxKOYHOWc0TB8/s1600/facebook-logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqOfpIHfU-Yf4agSiW4N__RjCrQnGRrTGtt1kwCa9CDky4AoZZfsArvVnUlieXVYi0bL1uHcmTg8h3R9bS24w1qn-c8zY_ul2HU7HtCmp-qYHacq6GnP3tlhIQ84DyI9ZxKOYHOWc0TB8/s1600/facebook-logo.jpg" height="127" width="320" /></a></div>
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I've known for a long while that I needed a Facebook break. I love having one and keeping up with people's lives and allowing them to keep up with mine. After a while though it can easily get out of hand and out of moderation. There have been times that I would click on Facebook as soon as I was on my phone when I got up in the morning. When I would go to make a call or send an email or check my calendar, I'd find myself on Facebook instead, and whatever I'd actually gotten on my phone for would be forgotten. Plus, there really is a such thing as seeing too much of people's lives. When something like social media isn't kept in proper place and priority (low), especially in relation to spiritual life, it's easy to find certain un-Christlike attitudes and habits slipping in. Jealousy, comparison, procrastination, laziness, and concern for things of the world that don't even have current, earthy value let alone eternal value are just a few of the things I found popping up in my own life with greater and greater frequency. My walk with the Lord was greatly diminished, and with my priorities all out of whack I found that my real, in-person relationships were being negatively affected. </div>
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So. That's why I'm taking a Facebook break. Props to those who have their lives in balance and don't have to do this. For me though, it's essential. Simply telling myself and others that I won't get on Facebook wasn't an option. I just don't have that sort of discipline yet. I literally had to deactivate my Facebook, delete the app, and cancel any emails from being sent to me. I plan on taking it a week at a time, but I'm really going to push myself to go longer. I am seriously impressed by those who don't allow social media to consume their lives in this technological age. This is what I'm striving for: self discipline, proper priorities, genuine relationships in life outside of the internet.</div>
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Blogging is a perfect outlet to go to instead of Facebook. Part of the reason I stopped blogging and not following through with my goals for this blog is because I'd be writing, pause to think or something, and find myself on Facebook. All that got me is quite a few unfinished posts. I know writing is something I want to be doing long term so once again, priorities.</div>
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I don't plan to write every day or even frequently about my Facebook break. This is just my jump start back into the blog world. And I'm not doing it for anyone else but me. My Lord, my husband, and my daughter are the reasons I make these changes, and I know that doing so has the effect of benefiting me!</div>
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This will definitely be hard because, no doubt about it, I'm an addict!!! Lol. The first day hasn't ended yet, and I can't begin to count the amount of times I've found myself subconsciously clicking where my Facebook app was. My Pandora app has replaced that spot though, so...yeah. We'll see how this goes! I am definitely renewing my mind with Scripture about self-discipline, and I'm encouraged by <u>1 Timothy 4:7b-8: "Train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come."</u></div>
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I'm excited to see how this goes! One thing I plan to start (once I get a new little notebook) is numbering daily blessings again. I used to carry a notebook around with with me everywhere, and I would count graces. It really made me more aware of the innumerable blessings God provides me with on a moment to moment basis. (Shout out to <a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/" target="_blank">Ann Voskamp</a>'s book <a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/one-thousand-gifts-book/" target="_blank">1000 Gifts</a>! :-)</div>
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<i><b>Have you ever had to take a break from social media? For what reasons, and did you find it beneficial? </b></i></div>
Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-82869184631624114062014-03-26T16:31:00.002-04:002014-03-26T16:31:12.901-04:00labor of love: the birth story of naomi grace {repost}<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Merriweather; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;">Originally posted <a href="http://mylifeperpetua.blogspot.com/2013/05/labor-of-love-birth-story-of-naomi-grace.html" target="_blank">here</a> on May 28, 2013~~happy 1st birthday to my sweet baby girl! :-)</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">Two months have passed more quickly than I ever imagined it would. One day you're waddling around, back sore, hands wrapped around a belly with skin stretched tight. Next day you're lying back, pushing and panting and pouring forth life as one body becomes two. It all happened so fast.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">The contractions were about ten minutes apart, and I lay there in the dark, attempting to grasp at fleeting bits of sleep between each tense moment. My eyes were blurry with exhaustion, and I kept a pen and note card underneath my pillow to remind myself to write down each time I felt the pain. I was far too tired to remember anything. Minutes became hours, and I finally shook my hard-working husband awake.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">I was completely indecisive about whether I should go in or not. The day before I was one centimeter dilated, and who is to say whether it would be an hour or a week before my girl was to come? Early labor, false labor, whatever. I ditched all the titles and just called it pain. It started in my sides and seared through my back, and I realized the fetal position was for more than just the unborn. He decided for me, so off to the hospital we went.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">The drive there is a blur, though I remember wincing as we went over every bump and pothole and braked for every light. And when we had to slow down because of the early morning traffic, I squeezed his hand and the handle of the door and both he and I told me that I could make it.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">I was weak with exhaustion and exertion by the time I made it to the maternity ward, and the midwife said, no way I would I have the energy to push without having had any sleep in 24 hours. And upon being checked and found to be still at one, I faltered at the thought that it would be a long time coming before anything (or one) would be coming out of me.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">A long, long hour, the longest it seems I may have ever experienced, walking around the giant loop of the ward. Around and around, arms wrapped tightly around the husband's waist as he whispered quiet encouragements and he pressed hard against the pain that ripped through my back. Around and around, and we passed someone else, a mom and her daughter, reflecting the glazed look I had in my own eyes as she too walked her way towards a new title in life: Mom. Around and around, pausing for ice chips and bathroom breaks, but who can let loose fluid when all your muscles strain and tighten in rebellion? More pauses and prayers and as the intensity increased so did the volume of those whispered encouragements to speak over the noise of doubt in my mind that I'd really be able to do this.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">Finally the hour ended and they asked me to lay back once more, and I writhed and curled as the lines on the screen spiked and leveled out in tune to the contractions coursing through my body. After an hour of becoming not one, but three centimeters dilated, I was sure there was no way I could do it. (I had hoped to be further along.) Lack of sleep overwhelmed my thinking and my thoughts were taken over by every. single. person. who told me that I'd want to do this without medicine....at least until the pain came. Then I'd be in my right mind and would take whatever they would give me, no questions asked. (Didn't you know that in a time of crisis the pessimists completely take over your mind? Watch your company and conversation, that's what I learned.) So the midwife talked, and I rolled and tossed and simply wanted silence, and she told me again if I didn't get some sleep I wouldn't have the energy to push. Tears welled up and and I felt like a failure and the husband stepped in once again and told me I could do this, told the midwife no medication would be necessary except for something to help me sleep.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">So slept I did, as much as one can when it feels like a sumo-wrestler has made up his mind to squeeze every last breath out of you every few minutes. An hour passed, another half hour passed, and I was wide awake once again. There'd be no more sleep for hours to come. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">The midwife came, and I laid myself back, and was shocked to hear that I went from one to three to eight. She talked and I listened and squeezed squeezed squeeeeezed on the husband's hand and looked right into his eyes and asked him if I could do this, and he said I absolutely could. And every five minutes I squeezed and I asked and he answered and I believed him. I absolutely could do this. No turning back.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">Time in the tub and then time over the toilet and it's incredible how one takes for granted the most basic of bodily functions. The fear of the tube coming in me and draining me came on far stronger than the apprehension of a baby girl coming out of me, but the husband was there and he made me look at him and told me it was okay, it wouldn't be bad, and I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought, but I know I couldn't have done it without him.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">It was time. How did I know? I have no idea. But right before that my mom came in, checking on me as she had this whole time, and I love her so much for it, but I had eyes only for my husband, because at that time we were one like never before. She came and she smiled and supported and cared and empathized as only she could, for six times over had she been in my place and she knew what was to come. She was there, then she left--but not far away, just outside the door as I came to find out later on.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">Are you ready to push? came the question to me, and I had no idea because I'd never done this before. Forget all my research and my planning about positioning because I was in pain and I wasn't getting out that bed until there was a baby in my arms. The bed tilted and I realized, this is real...this is real! And as the contractions came, I grabbed hold of my husband and the nurse at my side and chin down, eyes squeezed shut, breath held, I pushed and I pushed and I stopped and panted and looked at my husband and he told me I could do this. I could do this. I would do this.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">So an hour of this but it really seemed fast, and maybe there was a shift change? I don't know; it's a blur. But a new nurse came in with the first nurse and husband and midwife, and it's amazing how annoying people can hinder your progress. In frustration and pain, I yelled (or screamed?) for the very first time and the midwife told me that it had be my most unproductive push yet. But one can't explain the searing pain as you stretch and you tear and open yourself up for someone else, so literally! I determined in myself (and with the help of the husband) that if I would hurt, I would hurt with purpose (productive pain), so there would be no more yelling for the rest of the delivery.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">The mirror came out, much to my dismay, and the glass reflected a red messy blur, and thank God I didn't have my glasses. No matter how much they were amazed at how well I was doing for a first-timer, I needed no convincing that my baby was coming out. And speaking of God? oh, how wrong of me it would be to not place Him at His proper place and give credit where it's due because there's no way in the world I would have made it through without Him!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">GOD gave me that man, my wonderful husband, the amazing one without whom I would not have been able to focus on my breathing and relaxation between and during every push. God gave me someone who's word I could trust when he told me that I could do it, and I'm doing amazing, and he was so proud of me. God gave me this man that I have come to love in a whole new way because of the labor and delivery process. So I give God his credit. And oh, for the Word! God's glorious Word! Scripture memory is so important, and the verse that echoed through my mind on that day was the same one that helped me during emotionally troubling times of high school. Incredible how, years later, as I experienced both internal and external pain it came to mind once more: this light affliction...is but for a moment...worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory...things that are not seen...are eternal. The verse was fragmented and out of context and I held onto it for dear life, quite literally! How light the affliction was in light of what was to come, the birth of my sweet baby girl.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">And so the time came, and I vaguely remember it, almost an out-of-body experience of that final request to Push! and I did, with all my might! And I felt it--I can't even explain to you what it felt like... (When two become one, and one becomes two-in-one, and that two-in-one becomes two separate beings!?...it's a miracle, really.) Then came that indescribable feeling of life coming out, and of being so confused when she said, Stop! Stop pushing! Breathe! and I had no idea why til I felt and I saw, that's my girl! MY GIRL!! And the cord was clamped and her daddy cut it and she was placed in my arms, and it's all so surreal, but as I saw her wide eyes, open mouth, curly hair, body small and slick, I knew it was real. So real. I was (I am) a mom.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">The rest of the story I'll (maybe) tell another day, about the postpartum recovery and such. (Let me just say, the labor and delivery was a breeze in comparison.) But who cares about all that? Because all that really matters is that I gave birth to a precious little girl named Naomi Grace who I have the blessing of mothering which both excites and scares me. I don't have to do it alone though. She has an awesome daddy who loves her to pieces, another awesome Daddy who died for her and we're praying for her to one day be in a relationship with, and Nanas and Papas and Aunties and Uncles and Godparents and just a whole big huge support system with a vested interest in her growth and development, physically, spiritually and beyond.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 15px;">I love this new life as a mom. I'm tired and showers are sometimes optional and when you're your child's sole source of nutrition for months on end, it can be quite draining (literally...). But it's worth it, and I love her and would go through this process again for sure. May I never forget the miracle of new life. </span><br />
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She's one! She's one!! I am <i>so </i>excited about my sweet girl's first birthday! I just may use an exclamation mark after every sentence!! (just kidding; I'll stop now....!!!!) It is crazy-hard to believe that it was A YEAR AGO that I was in the hospital, laboring and preparing to deliver our first child. Like...what!?!? The Lord has brought her and our entire family SO FAR. I struggled to enjoy those first few weeks to the full extent I wanted to since my postpartum recovery was so rough. It took a huge emotional and physical toll on me, and even though my stomach still turns a little when I think about the hardest times I went through, I'm thankful to have gone through it because it definitely strengthened my reliance on the Lord and grew my relationship with the hubs (who is an amazing husband, and even more amazing father to Naomi!). Plus I got a precious, beautiful, smart, silly, fun-loving baby girl out of it! :-)</div>
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There have been so many happy milestones and memories. I remember being in so much pain one day and then she smiled for the very first time, and her smile LIT. UP. MY. WORLD. From lifting up her head to pushing up on her arms during tummy time, nothing was too small to celebrate. I remember how my mind was blown when I realized that she had learned how to scoot around places, and how I bawled my eyes out when she was cutting her first tooth! And jumping ahead to when she took her first steps...I was so in shock, Jeremiah had to remind me to pull out the camera! Oh man, what a joy she is.</div>
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Then there are those times that at the time we were like, <i>wahhhhhhh</i>, <i>whyyyyyyyy</i>. But now we look back and (kinda) chuckle. Like the first time we gave her a bath and she pooped THREE. SEPARATE. TIMES. Brand new to the game and she was already making us learn quick. Boy, were we a mess that day!! Poop. Everywhere. There are so many other diaper blowouts I can think of, but I'll spare you. Then of course the sleepless nights. Sometimes I was okay because I enjoyed snuggling with my sweet girl, but other times (most of the time) it was more like begging her to sleep. Now she's got a bedtime and sleeps through the night, and we certainly don't take that for granted. Ya know, at the moment I'm actually struggling to come up with any other not-so-great times. I know they happened, but all the amazing, happy stuff <i>so </i>outweighs it, those moments aren't even at the forefront of my mind.</div>
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I guess I said all that to say this: I love my sweet girl, Naomi Grace. She has brought me so. much. joy. Words don't even describe how much!! The Lord is teaching me so much through being her mom, and I am just BLESSED that he entrusted me and the hubs with her. I am really looking forward to celebrating her birthday this weekend with family and friends!! </div>
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I have legitimate excuses for one or two Fridays. I had a terrible migraine one week, and the other week I was sick (I think). I clearly remember simply being unmotivated to write on another Friday. Actually, I can't say I'm that motivated right now. My daughter is taking a nap, and Special Agent Oso is on (or is it Octonauts? Oh Disney Junior how you suck me in...) I could really just veg and watch it, or take a nap myself. Or clean. There's always cleaning to do. Or...something...anything. But I am determined that not another Friday will pass without me writing SOMETHING. I hate the idea of people writing me off because I don't write consistently, but I figure writing inconsistently is a good start to writing consistently. I mean, if I'm not writing at all, I'm making ZERO progress. At least now I'm making <i>some</i>. I'm working on it, ya'll. I love to write, but the hardest part of a writer's life is WRITING. Go figure.<br />
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So here I am. Just...here... Writing... This Friday isn't a failure at all. I'm sticking to what I said I'd do, so that for me is a success. Baby steps. Baby steps.<br />
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Done anything fearless lately?<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-65633081242676723572014-02-15T10:35:00.001-05:002014-02-15T10:35:03.915-05:00fearless friday was not forgotten!<div dir="ltr">
Unfortunately there was no post yesterday because I have been laptop charger-less all week, and quite frankly there's no way I'm typing out all I had planned to write on my phone or on my husband's tablet. I like a good ol' fashioned keyboard. Or pen and paper, but that doesn't help me get it online.</div>
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So since there's no fearless post I shall share about my Valentine's Day. :) The hubs got off work early, which was a gift all by itself because it is hard for him to get off early certain days, Friday being one of them. I was able to do a bit of shopping, and the best part about that is almost everything was on sale! Woot woot! Jeremiah didn't tell me where we were going, just to dress up. I was SUPER excited about that because I basically never have an occasion to wear dressy clothes, and even more rarely do I get to wear a non-nursing friendly outfit. So I had lots of fun putting on a little makeup and wearing a nice dress that I knew the hubs liked but had yet to see on me :-) He ended up taking us to Fogo de Chao, YUMMM. Needless to say I am still stuffed. If you aren't familiar with the restaurant, it is a Brazilian Steakhouse where they provide several different cuts of meat in rapid succession until you tell them to stop. I'll post pictures of the cards you use there below.</div>
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Anyways so that was alot of fun. Naomi's godmom watched her the evening, so we had a few hours to ourselves which is pretty rare and such a blessing. We are definitely getting old though because we talked about going up to Howard for old times sake or going to a jazz club but we were full and tired and ready to head back home. Ha! The things parenthood does to ya. Just a couple years ago, our night would just be getting started around ten pm! </div>
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To be honest I really used to look down on Valentine's Day because it seemed so shallow. I remember so many girls in middle school and high school desperate for a boo thang they could claim as their own, even if their "relationship" began two days before V-Day and ended two days after. I never wanted to get caught up in such empty displays of so-called love so I ended up shunning it altogether. Now I look at it more from the perspective of having the opportunity to show the people you truly love that you love them, whether it's family, friends, or someone you're in a relationship with. The day is also a great time to make those who may otherwise feel unloved feel special. I was one of the ones like, Why in the world do we need a day set aside to show people we love them when we should be doing it anyway!? Oh how I chuckle at my younger immature self lol. Now I know that there's nothing wrong with showing a little extra love.</div>
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I hope each of you are having a wonderful weekend celebrating love! Later today my love and I will be going to a couple's Valentine's event that our church and another church are co-hosting. It will be our very first one since getting married :-) How do you celebrate Love Day? Show someone you love a littlw extra love today, and go be fearless and show someone who may feel unloved (or maybe that you think doesn't even deserve to feel extra love) some Christ like love today (and every day!).</div>
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This is my commandment that ye love one another as I have loved you.<br />
John 15:12</div>
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Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God, for God is love.</div>
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1 John 4:7-8</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It was so nice to get dressed up!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If the green side is face up, it means keep the meats coming! Red side means you need a food break. I actually had green side up a good portion of the time!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hubs said he was too full to smile. He's still adorable. :-)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We received this before we left the restaurant. How cool!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and my boo :-)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">'Tis I.</td></tr>
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-39223767240374320542014-02-07T12:28:00.002-05:002014-02-07T12:28:24.596-05:00Fearless is my new normal: an introduction to fearless fridaysThese past ten (TEN!!) months of being a mom to Naomi have been full of exciting moments, but I have to say the times that I enjoy most are watching her and the hubs have daddy-daughter time. It used to freak me out seeing Jeremiah flipping her over, tossing her in the air and such, but now that I see how much Naomi enjoys it and looks forward to it, I just sit back and let it happen.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Super-baby Naomi!! Her daddy makes her flyyyyy!!!</td></tr>
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It's funny that as I watch Naomi playing around with her daddy, the only person in the room who's on edge is me. Of course Jeremiah is being careful, but not to the extent of padding the walls and floor (which kinda sounds like a good idea as I type it out...). Naomi, the one who's being tossed around, is the least fazed of all of us. She doesn't really know to do anything <i>but </i>trust us.<br />
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Oh that I would have the same kind of trust with my Heavenly Father! He has given me no reason to distrust Him, and He has a track record of perfection. He is to be trusted above all others.</div>
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Yet more often than not my actions are more characterized by comfort and security than by fearlessness and faith. I question the things the Lord calls me to do and quite frequently end up not doing them at all because I've talked myself out of it. And when I do obey, I love to have a safety net. Just in case this obedience thing, this leap of faith doesn't work out, I better have a back up plan. I like to have contingency plans for my contingency plans. I love the <i>idea </i>of being fearless, but taking actual, <i>fearless </i>action makes me, well, fearful. </div>
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This year...you know what? Scratch that. This <i>week </i>will be different. I've found that when I stretch my goals out over the course of a year without setting specific deadlines for them that the goals often go unmet. And so begins <b>fearless fridays</b>. Every Friday I will post on a fearless act the Lord has led me to do. It could be big. It could be small. It could be something for someone else, or it could be something in my personal life. No matter what the acts are, they'll all be <i>great </i>because I'll be doing them in obedience to my Father, Who enables us to act in spite of our fears, Who enables us to overcome our fears.</div>
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I've always believed that God is <i>far </i>too big and great for me to live a basic, ordinary life. I am taking Him at His Word that if I obey Him I will see extraordinary things done in His name that point others to His Son Jesus Christ and give Him all the glory. I'm not looking for accolades about what I do. I'm just looking to obey and thus be blown away by the <i>amazingness </i>(I made that up!) of God in my every day life.</div>
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Care to join me in being fearless? In the comment section each week, share a link to a <b>fearless friday</b> post in your blog. Let's live fearless lives for the Lord together!<br />
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<b><i>"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9</i></b></div>
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Move by Flame</div>
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<i><a href="http://www.newreleasetuesday.com/lyricsdetail.php?lyrics_id=69862" target="_blank">Click here for lyrics</a></i></div>
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-42882936548299133852014-01-16T14:18:00.002-05:002014-01-16T14:22:21.317-05:00New year, same laundryI think by this point it's officially too late to be saying Happy New Year. I mean, the year hasn't been new for two weeks now. New year, old news, right?<br />
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Naomi partied it up til 1am without a problem at a church event. I think she knew that if she was getting the chance to stay up, she'd better take advantage of it. And did she ever!! She was wide awake, but you better believe when we laid her down in bed around 1:30 am, she was knocked. out. Lil' girl wore herself (and her parents!) out!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibBXOaLvmlo8rvqZ4xQ5pVOykBK6oHy9Fi1Vg9DRxT7-DRTxhpF7xwBThoTjOwbaGEKn8TnjAyPG5UpGHsMqvrQWvZ6efUtYFiyBw7vPCNzfpxP4rNkxVXTkaghgbKI3HzuSIlQ-OtIpg/s1600/1530528_10152533134401632_1882568344_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibBXOaLvmlo8rvqZ4xQ5pVOykBK6oHy9Fi1Vg9DRxT7-DRTxhpF7xwBThoTjOwbaGEKn8TnjAyPG5UpGHsMqvrQWvZ6efUtYFiyBw7vPCNzfpxP4rNkxVXTkaghgbKI3HzuSIlQ-OtIpg/s1600/1530528_10152533134401632_1882568344_n.jpg" height="400" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our tired little family post-church New Year's bash.</td></tr>
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To be honest, it didn't even feel much like a new year to me. I think when you still have to change diapers and feed and console a crying baby the day feels pretty, well, ordinary. Plus there were loads of laundry that had built up into monstrous heaps that threatened to eat the laundry room, kitchen and dining room alive. Oh, and me, too. 2014 greeted me with 2013's dirty laundry.<br />
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With it came the attitude.<br />
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Seriously, who is in a good mood when they're doing laundry!? Well...me, to be honest. I don't usually mind sorting, and washing and drying. When it all needs to be put away, that's another story. On THIS day though, New Year's Day, I wasn't happy about the laundry. For some reason I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and wasn't altogether pleased that this motherhood thing doesn't afford you a day off. So off I went to do my daily thing of taking care of my sweet girl and the household. I grumbled grumbled grumbled inside myself about how just when the laundry seems to be done, it needs to be done all over again! *sigh* Such is life. And there's just nothing like starting out the new year with stuff from the previous year! Granted, it was just the day before, but c'mon, can't it just disappear??<br />
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It isn't just physical things like laundry that follow us into new days and months and years. Things like attitudes and bad habits have a way of creeping right along with us. Sometimes we know it; other times it has become so ingrained in us that we don't even realize the negative changes that have become a part of who we are. We go about our days and then it hits us out of nowhere--since when have I been doing/saying that? How long have I been neglecting this? When did that end up at the bottom of my priority list? Just like the new year sometimes seems to hit us out of nowhere, so does the realization that we've been carrying things along with us, bad thins, negative things for a while now and we wonder how in the world we ended up in this place. We then (well let me not say "we"--I know I can do it) I can end up getting frustrated with myself. I mope, and then that grumbling starts again, and I wonder how in the world am I supposed to <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+24%3A13&version=ESV" target="_blank">persevere to the end</a> when I can hardly keep up with everything in a year?<br />
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I think we tend to notice these things at the New Year more because it seems to be a bigger milestone than a day or month. After all, we celebrate birthdays after a year, right? (Though it would be pretty fantastic to have a birthday party every year. Gifts galore! Or, if you're a fatty, I mean, foodie like me, that might mean going-out-to-eat galore.) I feel like I write the same thing every year, but that's because every year the same is true. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Lamentations+3%3A22-23&version=ESV" target="_blank">His mercies are new</a>. And His mercies aren't simply new every YEAR,<i> praise Jesus</i>. they are new every DAY. <i>Every day</i> we are given is a milestone. <i>Every day</i> is a new beginning.<i> Every day</i> is another opportunity the Lord has given to rely on His grace more than we did the day before. And if I really break it down, it's really<i> moment-by-moment grace and mercy</i>.<br />
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Something else I can often forget is this: <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+2%3A12-13&version=ESV" target="_blank">It is God who works within you, both to will and to work for <i>His</i> good pleasure</a>. We're only two weeks into the year, but I can't <i>begin</i> to count the amount of times the Holy Spirit has gently reminded me of this Scripture. He is doing the work in me, not me in myself! I also need to remember that <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+1%3A6&version=ESV" target="_blank">He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ</a>! Why do I weigh myself down with self-reliance? Why do I depend on myself to please God? <i>I need God to please God.</i> I overwhelm myself at the beginning of the year with all these things I must do to serve and honor God with my life, and at the end of the year I overwhelm myself with self-condemnation for not completing everything I burdened myself with. I say it again: <i>I need God to please God.</i> My bestest recently reminded me of passage in 1 Thessalonians 5 that is so often quoted:<br />
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<i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Thessalonians+5%3A12-22&version=ESV" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text 1Thess-5-12" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">12 </span>We ask you, brothers, <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29617A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></span>to respect those who labor among you and <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29617B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></span>are over you in the Lord and admonish you,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="text 1Thess-5-13" id="en-ESV-29618" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">13 </span>and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29618C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></span>Be at peace among yourselves.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="text 1Thess-5-14" id="en-ESV-29619" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">14 </span>And we urge you, brothers, admonish <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29619D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></span>the idle, encourage the fainthearted, <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29619F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)"></span>help the weak, <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29619G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)"></span>be patient with them all.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="text 1Thess-5-15" id="en-ESV-29620" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">15 </span>See that <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29620H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)"></span>no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29620I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)"></span>seek to do good to one another and to everyone.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="text 1Thess-5-16" id="en-ESV-29621" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">16 </span><span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29621J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)"></span>Rejoice always,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="text 1Thess-5-17" id="en-ESV-29622" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">17 </span><span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29622K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)"></span>pray without ceasing,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="text 1Thess-5-18" id="en-ESV-29623" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">18 </span><span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29623L" title="See cross-reference L">L</a>)"></span>give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="text 1Thess-5-19" id="en-ESV-29624" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">19 </span><span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29624M" title="See cross-reference M">M</a>)"></span>Do not quench the Spirit.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="text 1Thess-5-20" id="en-ESV-29625" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">20 </span>Do not despise <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29625N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)"></span>prophecies,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="text 1Thess-5-21" id="en-ESV-29626" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">21 </span>but <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29626O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)"></span>test everything; hold fast what is good.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="text 1Thess-5-22" id="en-ESV-29627" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">22 </span>Abstain from every form of evil.</span></span></a></i></div>
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So many commands!! If you're like me, you may have recited these over and over in your head, beating yourself up for not being able to follow these clearly written directions. If you go to verse 24, you can see that we are missing <strike>a big part</strike> ALL of what we need in order to be able to do these things in our lives!<br />
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<i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Thessalonians+5%3A24&version=ESV" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="versenum" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">24 </span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29629A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He who calls you is faithful; </span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29629B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">he will surely do it.</span></span></a></i></div>
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I know I just wrote it above, but I think this needs to be re-stated with some emphasis. <i>HE who calls you is FAITHFUL; HE will surely DO IT! </i>This is quoted much less often yet it is pivotal in our understanding of how we do these things God commands us. We allow <i>Him </i>to do the work in us...<i>through </i>us!! In and of ourselves we are incapable of being who God created us to be. I can't be the wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend that I'm called to be when I'm doing it on my own! I can have all the good intentions in the world and fail. And fail. And fail. Remember how I was talking about the laundry? It can be just like that. I try and try to keep up with the wash. And it just. keeps. building. up.<br />
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And ya know what? The laundry <i>will</i> build up at times. Sometimes we'll find it piling up more often than not. Sometimes we will turn around and find that we've wallowed and steeped ourselves into negative, damaging habits that have hurt our relationship with Christ, with our spouse, with our children, family members, friends. The amazing and grace-filled thing is this: At the time we notice that laundry, that mess, that dirt? At the time the Holy Spirit, through His Word, opens our clouded eyes to see the baggage we've been hanging onto that we're meant to let go of? That is the same time He extends His mercy, His grace, His forgiveness. Please don't forget, friends, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+11%3A28-30&version=ESV" target="_blank">His yoke is easy and His burden is light</a>.<br />
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My goal this year is to <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+5%3A16&version=ESV" target="_blank">redeem--make the best use of--the time</a> I'm given. Life is so short! So I don't want to waste time dwelling on why I did so much wrong yesterday. As the Lord shows me, I want to conform to His will and move forward. Instead of wasting precious moments in self-condemnation, I want to dwell in His daily sufficient grace.<br />
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New mercies each day. New mercies each year.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-3493318877573257732013-12-23T18:50:00.001-05:002013-12-23T19:05:26.228-05:00All I Want for Christmas is a Lint-Free Fro: My Unconventional Christmas List<div dir="ltr">
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I recently saw a post going around Facebook of a <a href="http://theuglyvolvo.com/2013/12/10/a-ten-month-olds-letter-to-santa/" target="_blank">10-month-old's Christmas list</a>. It was surprisingly accurate, and even though Naomi isn't 10 months yet, nearly everything on the list applied to her. I figured I might as well make a list for myself. Moms want stuff for Christmas too, ya know!</div>
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<b>1. A lint-free fro. </b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBiWFYr050O5rrVceVJvbf87m_zK9FXukvhu0eYIKLx6l05uUXOiPBcELNPLZAsjTpazp3n5nw0kYCkuLH0mvrdyIGIY-7GGMR84_p85HSts1MFeM-6caSfKh7QEHE5E7qdbMB6e2yb5s/s1600/1014873_10151999935326632_354281225_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBiWFYr050O5rrVceVJvbf87m_zK9FXukvhu0eYIKLx6l05uUXOiPBcELNPLZAsjTpazp3n5nw0kYCkuLH0mvrdyIGIY-7GGMR84_p85HSts1MFeM-6caSfKh7QEHE5E7qdbMB6e2yb5s/s320/1014873_10151999935326632_354281225_o.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My fabulous fro. Don't look too closely.</td></tr>
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I've never been much of a hair enthusiast. I typically do the bare minimum I must do to not be bald and that involves washing, conditioning, and LOC method (liquid. oil. cream.) Thank GOD for my natural Af-Am hair that doesn't have to be washed daily; otherwise I would most definitely be on the road to baldness. So I do this stuff to my hair, feel good about having done it, then end up rolling around on the carpet playing with Naomi. I used to love my big poof and always ensured before leaving the house it had no specks of white throughout lest it be mistaken for dun-dun-dun-dunnnn... dandruff. Ever since becoming a mom, it's a good day if I've picked my fro out, let alone checked it for lint. When I go somewhere with friends or family, someone inevitably comes up behind me saying, "Hold still!" and begins picking little pieces of carpet out of my hair. Sigh. I want my lint-free fro back!<br />
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<b>2. To shave</b></div>
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Now I know it's winter time, and most people, including myself, probably consider this winter break from shaving. (Unless of course, your first day of winter it's in the 70s like it was here in the metro DC area...) There comes a point when <i>bear</i> legs are simply unacceptable though. I'm happy to say that I can now cross this off my list because I just shaved for the first time in....I'm not telling how long. Usually I'm rushing through my showers, hoping to get through them before Naomi notices I'm gone. There have been times I've planned to shave and the time won't be on my side or Naomi isn't on my side haha. And I usually have to choose between shaving or washing my hair. Never both. Hair always wins. Oh well. And speaking of showers...</div>
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<b>3. To shower until the hot water runs out</b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It used to be this way.</td></tr>
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Well, this actually isn't too hard to do since our hot water heater seems to empty pretty fast. But I remember the days pre-baby when the hubs would ask me after I got out the shower if I saved any hot water for him. That's because I'd be there <i>that </i>long. I can't remember the last time he asked me that question because I pretty much always have to rush. It's hard to enjoy a shower when your baby is in the room next door screaming like the crib you've temporarily placed her in is a prison. I long for the times when I could get in the shower and spend the majority of the time just standing there enjoying the hot water...then rushing to clean myself before it cools down lol. A little something like that comic.</div>
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<b>4. A day without nursing</b><br />
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Yeah, yeah it's mostly my fault that this isn't possible. The fact is, as much as I want to be done breastfeeding, I don't want it bad enough to go through the struggle of weaning Naomi, and she certainly isn't ready to stop. But oh, to wear a dress or shirt that I don't have to worry about being able to feed her in, to get rid of the ugly nursing bras, and not constantly feel...used... (okay, that last one was a bit dramatic). Oh well. Such is <strike>life</strike> motherhood. A girl can dream.</div>
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<b>5. To wear a real purse.</b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5dHz3eRTrSs2nMpMg1vdep8Jmeb-reaBiU9ZPfVyOyimyxRsMatRXBTPCoLR5DZOivnKOWFMl8kxw4pn5ow2o1dcMNvcOw1R-LAemkXOEoVXDrIXQ0Za7THJqaYXtAw5VYlFjXkL45tU/s1600/SAM_0144.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5dHz3eRTrSs2nMpMg1vdep8Jmeb-reaBiU9ZPfVyOyimyxRsMatRXBTPCoLR5DZOivnKOWFMl8kxw4pn5ow2o1dcMNvcOw1R-LAemkXOEoVXDrIXQ0Za7THJqaYXtAw5VYlFjXkL45tU/s320/SAM_0144.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My luggage. AKA purse. AKA diaper bag. Bulky, but I actually love it since it doesn't scream I AM A MOM AND MY BABY HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE. Pink and purple and flowers and polka dots may be on everything else, but I draw the line at the bag!</td></tr>
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Yeah, I know the days will come when I won't always have to lug around <strike>luggage</strike> a diaper bag. For the time being, I pack in case of 2 emergencies, not one, because you better believe that the day I decide that there is no need to bring all this stuff because I never use it is the day that the worst diaper blowout in the history of blowouts is bound to happen. I was so surprised the other day when I was cleaning my room and came across a pile of purses I used to use. I used to coordinate with what I would wear!! Now that seems so frivolous haha. But I wouldn't mind doing that again. I used to think my purses were big and that I carried too much stuff in them. With a baby now I know that that was complete nonsense.</div>
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<b>6. An un-timed date with the Husband</b><br />
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The other day Jeremiah and I were chuckling about how we sometimes used to just be getting started with our dates around 9-10pm at night. We would hop up and do stuff and come back home in the wee hours of the morning. Now we know that the max an outing can be without Naomi is a maximum of 3-4 hours. A movie, basically. I can't tell you the amount of times that we have fed Naomi and literally ran out the door. (Not many actually lol.) It's a pretty funny sight though. Yay for pumping but with my picky child, she wants ME. Yay. That's motherhood though, and I've counted the cost. Even still, I think that in spite of my hyper-protective tendencies I will soon embrace the idea of an overnight babysitter.</div>
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<b>7. My memory back</b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Something like that.</td></tr>
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Mom-brain is real, ya'll. I used to pride myself on my fantastic memory, but now if it isn't written down, it either didn't happen or it isn't happening. Take this blog post for example. I had already come up with what I wanted my Christmas list to be, but I humorously relied on my memory to get it all down. Haha! Oh well. It's okay. At least my memory is still better than my husband's *wink*wink* ;-)</div>
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Well I guess I'm done guys, since I can't remember anything else. In all seriousness though, spending Christmas with my family is all I need!</div>
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What unconventional things are on your list this year?</div>
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-60402284004559725432013-11-19T18:36:00.000-05:002013-11-19T19:00:43.175-05:00I'm moving forward from loss<i>I was in the kitchen. I moved to the side as my husband opened the oven to pull out a pan of chicken.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"You know, I'll just be glad when I'm out of the first trimester."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"Why's that?"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"Then I'll feel better with knowing that these are just the regular pregnancy aches and pains and the chances of a miscarriage will go down." We had found out just a few days before that baby number two was on the way, and according to my calculations, I was between 5 and 7 weeks into the first trimester.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>He sat the pan on the oven and pulled me into his arms. "But you have to know that even if we do have a miscarriage and God allows for that to happen, we'll be okay."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"I know we will," I said. "I would just be devastated." I paused as my throat choked up a bit from the thought. "This is a little different from when we had Naomi. That time it was kinda surprising and we weren't really planning on it, and there were so many mixed emotions on my end. This time we talked about it and stuff, so I was, well I am so excited! So I would just hate for something to happen."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>He hugged me a little tighter. "I know you would babe, and I would too, but we have to keep remembering that God is always in control. He works out everything for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away--"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"Blessed be the name of the Lord. I know, babe."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"We'll be okay, babe. We'll be okay."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</div>
<br />
This was the night before I miscarried our second child.<br />
<br />
The morning started off normal enough. Jeremiah went off to work, and I rested a bit longer because I wasn't feeling too well. And by rested a bit longer, I mean that once Naomi woke up at 7-7:30am, I fed her, changed her, and brought her back to bed with me. I willed her to sleep (yes, willed) and finally got more rest myself.<br />
<br />
I woke up cramped.<br />
<br />
Naomi woke up too, so I fed her again, and we started our day. Down the stairs, into the living room, pulled out the books and the toys. She laughed and played and I used her distraction as a moment to finally go to the restroom. What I saw looked different, <i>and even though I didn't really know, I already knew.</i><br />
<br />
I had no time to think about it, because as I headed down the flight of stairs, I was shocked to find that <i>my 7 month old daughter had climbed halfway up the steps!</i> (When did she learn to do this!!?) Bathroom trip forgotten, I thought not of my unborn baby, but only of the child who had already exited my womb and stood before me on the staircase with wide, wondering eyes. I calmly went down and snatched her up, praising the Lord that my little girl hadn't fallen backwards onto the wood floor. Gate time!<br />
<br />
With Naomi safely in my arms, my mind turned back to the bathroom trip, and I picked up the phone to call my husband.<i> "I should probably go to the doctor,"</i> I said. <i>"Or the ER, since they'll probably send me there anyway."</i><br />
<br />
Fast-forward and the husband is home, and we're sitting on the couch, and I'm on the phone with a nurse who says, <i>Well I may as well wait until my already-set doctor's appointment the next day, because if I was having a miscarriage, there was nothing I could do.</i> Gee, thanks.<br />
<br />
I hang up the phone, and burst into tears, and go to the bathroom, and saw my fears confirmed. Blood.<br />
<br />
I head down the stairs, more tears and this time I can't stop.<i> "We're going to be okay,"</i> the husband tells me. I think he's talking about our unborn child, and I shake my head no. <i>No! Don't tell me that! Because everything may not be okay. Just tell me everything <u>could</u> be okay. It could.</i><br />
<br />
But he tells me no, and tells me that it <i><u>will</u> </i>be okay, <i><u>we will be okay</u></i>. And I shake my head because he has no idea what he's talking about. We pray--<i>he</i> prays, and I silently ask for His will to be done.<br />
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On the way to the hospital, I realize I made a trip just like this when I was pregnant with Naomi, and guess what?<i> Everything was just fine.</i> So I told Jeremiah, <i>Everything could be okay, right?</i> He responded by saying that yes, everything <i><u>will</u> </i>be okay.<br />
<br />
We're at the hospital, and right after me, someone checks in complaining of cramps. She was 9 weeks pregnant. This happens, I told myself. I could be okay.<br />
<br />
And so I waited and I saw the doctor, and I peed in the cup, and I had my blood drawn, and I had the ultrasound, and I had the pelvic exam and during each and every test I told myself no news could be good news. I could be okay. Our baby could be okay. I still tried to brace myself for the worst though.<br />
<br />
Then the worst came as the doctor got straight to the point--I had a complete miscarriage. At first I thought I wouldn't cry, but the tears came and kept coming. I listened as he told me that the pregnancy hormone left in my blood was basically negligent. Though I knew I was between 5-7 weeks, I'd never know exactly when I miscarried. I'd never hear my little one's heartbeat or see them on an ultrasound. He told me that he and his wife miscarried their first child and that it was okay to grieve. He said I was healthy and able to try again whenever I was ready and that the blessing in the midst of it was that I'd need no further medical attention. There was nothing else to be done.<br />
<br />
He left the room and my husband held me and our sweet Naomi, and it hit me how blessed I really am. But it still hurt, <i>really </i>hurt, and I could not. stop. crying. I used up the tissue box, and asked for another and the nurse came in the room with a new one and comforting words.<br />
<br />
We got on the road and just drove. And drove. Out of our city. Into DC. Jeremiah took me over to a place of joy, the place where he proposed, and my mind went back a few years. I remember that day like it was yesterday, and I remember that tree on the National Mall. It was huge and beautiful against the night sky, rivaled only by the pretty ring I kept looking at on my left hand. The verse popped into my head. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desired fulfilled is a tree of life."<br />
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Tears followed that verse coming to mind, but this time I wasn't dwelling on the tree of life, but the hope deferred. I wasn't mad. I wasn't bitter. I was just sad. Just...sad.<br />
<br />
In hindsight the Lord was preparing me for this loss long before I knew I was pregnant. Different conversations I had with other women about miscarriages they had, coming across research about the amount of women who miscarry, sometimes without even knowing it. Even an episode of 19 Kids and Counting where the Duggars lost a child. All this before conceiving, before knowing I had conceived, before knowing I had lost the child I'd barely known about for a week.<br />
<br />
I didn't know all that stuff was preparation, but it was. Because each and every time miscarriage came up, I would question whether I was willing to surrender the outcome of each and every pregnancy to the Lord. It scared me to even think about losing a pregnancy, let alone accepting that it could happen and that the Lord could have a plan for it. I just kept thinking, <i>If I accept this, if I surrender future pregnancies to the Lord before they happen, I am basically guaranteeing that I'll have to go through that pain. </i>It was a terrible way of thinking, but I went through that thought process and eventually got to the point that I believed what God said. <u><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+8%3A28&version=NKJV" target="_blank">ALL things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.</a></u> <u><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=jeremiah%2029:11&version=NIV" target="_blank">He knows the plans that He has for me and they're plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.</a></u><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%205:3-4&version=NIV" target="_blank"> <u>I can rejoice in suffering knowing that it would produce perseverance, which would produce character, which would produce hope.</u></a> I knew it in my head, but had to believe it in my heart: <i>There is no pointless pain the life of a believer.</i><br />
<br />
So that conversation between my husband and I? It was like my final moment of acceptance. Of surrender. I hadn't talked to him about miscarriage before that point, and it happened just in time.<br />
<br />
The day of the miscarriage/hospital visit and the next few days that followed really put this surrender and trust to the test. I found out that at the same time I was in the hospital finding out about my miscarriage, a friend was in the hospital finding out that she was pregnant. 5 weeks along. What I could have been. A few days after that, I had a baby shower to go to which was joyous and bittersweet all at once. Conversations about pregnancies, pictures on Facebook, people jokingly asking when the next one is coming... All innocuous in and of themselves, stuff that typically wouldn't bother me. Now it seems like anything could plant a seed of bitterness in my heart.<br />
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So far, thankfully, that seed has not taken root. It's not that I've hardened my heart to what's happened. It's just that I know being bitter would take glory away from the Lord. Though He didn't change the outcome of the pregnancy, He clearly prepared me in advance. That fact was so plain to me that I had to, I <i><u>have</u> </i>to worship and thank Him for that. I know my grieving process, even my recovery process could have been much longer and much more painful. I have been spared that, and I don't take it for granted. It definitely still hurts at times, but I can honestly say that I am doing well. I've learned that having an open hand when the Lord's given me something makes it easier to let go if He chooses to take it back. My child was His before he was mine. His to give. His to take.<br />
<br />
I can't say I can all of a sudden relate to everyone who's had a miscarriage. There are people who lose their child when they're much further along. There are those who try and try to get pregnant and finally do, then for whatever reason the pregnancy ends. There are so many different, painful circumstances that occur that it would be impossible for anyone to relate to EVERYONE. But something that I take comfort in as a believer is that when I am tempted to be bitter about how things turned out, I don't have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with my weaknesses. He was tempted, as I am, and He was yet without sin. I can confidently go before the throne of grace, and receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need!! What a blessing! What a promise!!<br />
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<br />
My husband kept telling me that everything would be okay, and I kept thinking that he had no idea what he was talking about. It wasn't until afterwards that I realized that he wasn't just talking about the baby. He was talking about, well, life I guess. We're okay. God has given us each other and sweet Naomi. We've only gotten closer as a family because of this experience. We have Christ, who works <i>all</i> things, <i>including</i> my miscarriage, together for the good. I've been able to know Christ as my Comforter in a whole new way.<br />
<br />
He said everything would be okay. And we are. More than okay really. We're moving forward.<br />
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<b><i>Verses. Quotes. Inspiration.</i></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirU9AdOwjNKMHZu6M9lv2DE7dNbDrpzkX7mLoYx6jBRP1FMqruKJZyfToFg29CrwMAFWO-0mXl2cVlctGhqtTxwU8ZXPFi_03fNnTofJzmyAUkXg4_T_gUrp-Od7R99NK8N4v9knHt4t4/s1600/desire-fulfilled.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirU9AdOwjNKMHZu6M9lv2DE7dNbDrpzkX7mLoYx6jBRP1FMqruKJZyfToFg29CrwMAFWO-0mXl2cVlctGhqtTxwU8ZXPFi_03fNnTofJzmyAUkXg4_T_gUrp-Od7R99NK8N4v9knHt4t4/s400/desire-fulfilled.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">All photos courtesy of Google Images.</span></i></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-32521741335634978502013-11-11T18:05:00.001-05:002013-11-11T18:05:25.503-05:00Confessions of a Struggling Mom: I Am Not A Superhero<div dir="ltr">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Written around September 28, 2013</span></i><br />
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Giving birth has easily got to be among the top five greatest things I've ever done in life. In fact I think it's resume-worthy. Not just for me, but for all moms! Before you think my life must be really boring for saying that, try picturing this. On average, a 6-7 pound baby coming out of an unnatural place of your body, which turns out to be totally natural. Or having your belly sliced open to pull out a miniature human. It's like something out of a science fiction movie, yet for some reason many look at it as something so <i>regular </i>and <i>normal </i>that it often gets bypassed as mundane. Uh, no. Absolutely not. Nothing boring or ordinary about childbirth, my friends.</div>
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I think what can come along with this mindset is the idea of this unwritten code for moms. The world says your life is ordinary and mundane? Well then act like it, even if that's not what you're feeling. Having a hard time with this job this is just a normal part of life? Well, keep it to yourself, because you're supposed to be enjoying it and that's all anyone wants to see. I mean, I swear no one really wants to know what's <i>really </i>going on in my life. Sometimes I may talk to someone with <i>every intention</i> of sharing how un-glamorous and difficult my life is and how it's a daily struggle. Not to complain, but to honestly bare my heart with the hopes of having someone encourage me and point me in the right direction, or at bare minimum let me vent. But then the gushing begins. The person shares <i>their </i>idea of what my reality is, and then I clam up. After all, <i>who am I to burst their bubble</i>?<i> Yes, motherhood is nearly as perfect as you say</i>, I say.</div>
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What I've come to notice is that people are all over you and drinking in what you have to say when you're talking about what a blast being a parent is. But you get started talking about the hard stuff, those people you were chatting up become shrinking violets and they want nothing to do with you. Or, or instead of recognizing that you are sharing your true heart is a cry for affirmation or dare I say assistance, they think you're complaining or worse, exaggerating, so they try to one-up you. <i>Oh, you think this stage is hard now</i>, they say, <i>you just wait til they get to this stage; then you'll really have it hard</i>. And while this does happen between moms and non-parents, I'm talking about <i>moms talking to other moms</i> here! </div>
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And so it begins. Or continues, I should say. The mom code. Negative experiences? Keep it to yourself. Struggling with a new baby? Unless you're less than six weeks postpartum, suck it up. Oh and you have more than one kid? You should already be used to it so you <i>really </i>should be quiet. Having regrets or second thoughts about the life you've chosen (or not chosen) for yourself? Again, suck it up or else sound like you hate your life and your baby and family. Struggling with depression? Don't you know that women have been birthing babies for thousands of years? Duh, there's down times but get over yourself! That's selfish to be so focused on your emotions and not those of your family.</div>
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The list could continue on and on. Reason after reason why we should soldier on through our struggle, not for the sake of our family or child but because this weighty title of Mother as defined most frequently by those around us deems it necessary for survival.</div>
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I'm thinking there are a few issues here. Somewhere along the line other, older moms forgot that they too were moms and had struggles themselves. Somewhere along the line we forgot that we're Christians before anything else and should be gracious to our fellow sisters in Christ, whether we understand or can relate to their struggle or not. Somewhere along the line we forgot that as members of this body of believers we should always be building up (edifying), not tearing down. <u>Somewhere along the line we adopted this idea that a Mother is a superhero</u>. And sure, she may be in the eyes of a child or spouse, and props to you if you feel you've mastered your role. Forgive me if I'm going out on a limb here, moms, but really? Can I just be honest with you? <i>We aren't superheroes</i>. We aren't invincible, and we have struggles like other mere mortals. Certainly we have to deal with them in ways that other childless people don't have any clue about, but--and I'm just speaking for myself here--I've found that trying to turn myself into some sort of super human limits me from really recognizing that its okay to struggle. To need help. To be depressed. To regret. To be human. </div>
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So where do we go from here? What is to be gained by sharing all these things? Maybe this is more for me than you. Because I know I need to come clean. My life hasn't been nearly as perfect as I've made it sound at times. I'm pretty sure I had postpartum depression and sometimes I still wonder what my life would be like baby-free. I really want more children, but at the same time I kinda want my own life. Am I selfish? Where am I in all this? Am I allowed to have goals and aspirations that have nothing to do with family life?<br />
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I already know that there are those of you who shun the idea of looking at your life that closely. In fact you've probably already shut me out. How dare you question the position you're in? Don't you know motherhood is a blessing? Don't you know people would give their right arm to have their own child? (Yeah, being made to feel guilty for having a child.... Fantastic.) Don't know you know how selfish you sound? Don't you know this? Don't you know that? <i>Don't you know you're making moms look bad and weak?</i> </div>
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<b><i>There.</i></b> There's the question. Because that is absolutely what I'm doing. I'm done trying to appease this ever-changing image of what mom looks like or should act like or should be. I'm challenging it and examining it and not just in my own eyes, I'm putting it up against the Word, <i>because when did other moms start becoming the standard instead of the Word anyway</i>?</div>
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If you haven't figured it out yet guys, <i>I haven't figured it all out</i>. I'm the mom of one child and she's seven months old and her and her daddy are. my. WORLD. But <i>even still</i> I'm struggling with this thing called motherhood, and I'd be lying to you if I said anything otherwise. But I won't stop living. I won't wait to share my experiences until I've "gotten it all together." I'm going to be transparent, keep going, and lean hard into grace and new mercies because if there is one thing that I <i>have</i> figured out it's that there is no way I will learn and grow in this role without it. In fact I'm living in moment to moment grace. So as I start this journey, let me say this now: I won't always have a solution or a way to make all things right. But I'm also not trying to be fixed because I don't think what I'm feeling is wrong. I don't think it's right either. I think it's just neutral. I'm just feeling and learning and learning and struggling. And I'm not asking your permission to struggle.<i> I'm inviting you to struggle with me</i>. In the day to day questions and hurdles. In the good times and the not good at all. And for the those of you who have already attained/arrived (lol) or gotten close <i>or at least learned something</i> worth sharing, I'm all ears. Really, the wisdom from the Word allows for <i>anyone </i>to share, including those who still think and have no problem telling me that I need to get over myself. (I'll try to be gracious.) So stay tuned for more! And here I go....</div>
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This begins my journey.... These are my confessions....<br />
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<u>Reminder of the Day</u></div>
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God's grace is sufficient for me. God's power is made perfect in my weakness.</div>
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<u>Ultimate Goal</u></div>
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To boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.</div>
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To delight in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties, for when I am weak, then I am strong.</div>
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<i>(2 Corinthians 12:9-10)</i></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px !important;" /></a>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-16451289858979855432013-11-05T13:35:00.000-05:002013-11-11T19:32:15.179-05:00Blog Name Change--He knows my name!I'm finally regaining a little blogging rhythm, but it seems that every time I write it either has something to do with my baby or the hubs or just living life. And maybe, <i><u>maybe</u> </i>a little food inserted in there somewhere. What can I say? I'm a full-time stay-at-home wife and mom. That's my job. All the time. 24/7. Almost everything I do centers around or impacts my home, and so when it comes to writing, it's sort of just an outpouring of that fact.<br />
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With that being said, I'm thinking about changing the name of my blog...again. I feel like I don't have a big enough following to be significantly impacted by a blog name change, but I have to decide whether or not my writing has changed significantly enough that I should adapt my blog name to better suit it.<br />
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When I first started out blogging, it was as <a href="http://livingsalty.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-life-perpetua-origins.html" target="_blank">"My Life: Perpetua."</a> Even as I type those words, I still love that title. It took me a long time--with plenty of reading and deliberation and creative thinking--to get to that name. I still love it! The story of Vibia Perpetua really struck me, and it still does. As I began writing on my blog, I found that I would write on a ton of various topics, the two primary things being spiritual matters and food. ('Cause they're right up the same alley!!) <a href="http://livingsalty.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-life-perpetua-origins.html" target="_blank">"My Life: Perpetua"</a> didn't seem to fit quite the same, and that's when I began brainstorming a blog name that would give people a better idea outright of what I typically wrote about. So that brings me to the present. Right now I'm "Seasoned with Salt: Colossians 4:6... Not only my food... Also my life!" I really do still like that name, and I think it perfectly suited the season I was in. It makes me sad to think about getting rid of it. What if someone steals it!?!?These days though, I don't cook as much as I used to, at least not for fun. When I make food, I'm in the mind to eat it, not take pictures of it. (That's mostly because Naomi suddenly needs loads of attention whenever the hubs and I try to eat.)<br />
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I'm coming to terms with the fact that most people probably won't notice if/when I change the name of my blog. Initially that was pretty depressing. My love language is words of affirmation, so while I don't HAVE to be affirmed, it certainly feels good to know I'm not writing to an empty audience. I'm encouraged by the fact that even if no one else knows my name (or my new blog name) and even if I am forgotten and left behind by people who used to "follow" me and my blog, I find solace in knowing that my Heavenly Father knows me, and He knows be by NAME!!<br />
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Cue Israel and New Breed song "I am not forgotten" :-)<br />
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So there you go. The name is changing any day now, back to My Life: Perpetua. I think. Maybe not. I keep changing my mind and getting nervous as soon as I think I've made up my mind to make the big change. Really got to work on my decision making, ha. So tell me: what do you think? Blog name change or not? I'm interested in hearing what ya'll think, but don't get it twisted; the decision is ultimately up to me. ;-)<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-81225448936163430152013-10-30T15:46:00.000-04:002013-10-30T15:46:05.878-04:00When the World Knocks at Your Door.....Again!!<a href="http://livingsalty.blogspot.com/2010/10/when-world-knocks-at-your-door.html" target="_blank">This post was written back in 2010</a>, back when I was dating (not even engaged!) and living at home. Even though it's a couple years old, I think it's worth sharing again! Now I'm a wife and mom, and the hubs and I have chosen not to have our family celebrate Halloween. At the same time, we are more than willing to engage those who do! This year we're looking forward to passing out tracks and invites to our church along with bags of candy for anyone who comes to our door. And of course I plan to snag some sweet treats for myself. ;-) Buckle your seat belts, guys; you're in for a wild, perspective-changing ride!!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIdc9gZ7DiccZFyyCzxwOEB_EN1UYDKhnlCgdSb8e7WJyqe2hCNCrG5f3enN70O9C1KzMGNnaC717voXyjoe_QW1X8w6RIofJckB9YU4Dlp7fKF-dJqfpa4_6zeibwIMmTZcTatsxwbSE/s1600/pumpkins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIdc9gZ7DiccZFyyCzxwOEB_EN1UYDKhnlCgdSb8e7WJyqe2hCNCrG5f3enN70O9C1KzMGNnaC717voXyjoe_QW1X8w6RIofJckB9YU4Dlp7fKF-dJqfpa4_6zeibwIMmTZcTatsxwbSE/s320/pumpkins.jpg" width="226" /></a>I don't celebrate Halloween. Just thought I'd get that out there from the beginning.<br />
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My parents never had my siblings and I celebrate it at all growing up, and now that I'm older and making my own decisions and developing my own convictions based on the Word, I also choose to not celebrate Halloween. Wait, wait, I know what you're thinking! That I'm one of those judgmental Christians who seeks to impose my beliefs on everyone around me, whether or not they have the same convictions. Nope! That's not me. I <i><b>definitely </b></i>believe that it is <i><b>every </b></i>believer's responsibility to make decisions on everything they do based upon what God says in His Word and the convictions He has placed on them, not do stuff because everyone else does (or doesn't do it, for that matter!). I know several Christians who are strong in their walk and feel complete freedom to celebrate this day. I know others who literally start preaching against it the moment October 1st hits. Either way, each person has their stance, and it just so happens that this is how God has led me <i><b>personally</b></i>.<br />
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When the siblings and I were younger, my parents would put a sign on our door every Halloween asking people not to knock....I mean, that's way easier then getting up and down to answer the door only to disappoint people when you don't have candy to offer! We would pop popcorn and watch movies, or sometimes go to a church event, you know, one of those Fall Festivals that get put on with games and snacks and whatnot. There was always an alternative to celebrating Halloween, and looking back I appreciate that.<br />
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Recently my thinking was challenged about the celebration of this holiday. Sadly, I don't remember the pastor who said it, or his exact words, but this was the basic idea. As Christians, we are constantly <i><b>seeking out</b></i><b> </b>people, going out of our way to share the gospel and to reach out to people. Many times we'll get more rejections than people accepting Christ! But on this one day out of the year, we actually have people <i><b>coming TO us, of their own accord</b></i>! What better opportunity to reach out to both kids and adults (oh, and teens too!) with the hope we have in Christ?<br />
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Granted, this isn't to create an open door policy that allows us to put ourselves into situations that would compromise our testimony for the sake of "sharing Christ." Obviously we are to use wisdom and only operate under the Spirit's leading! But I think, especially now that I'm older (yeah I know, all 21 years of my life haha), and now that I've actually developed a conviction about this, I can move in the direction of not shutting people out who think/believe differently than me, but instead I can be looking for ways to reach out and show Christ's love to the very people who are reaching out to me! And who knows, maybe it wouldn't hurt to share Christ with some candy! ...lol. Disclaimer: I'm sure it would be harder for a family with small children who doesn't celebrate Halloween to constantly have their door opening and closing with the intention of sharing Christ with the people asking for candy, but the kids not fully grasping the gravity of what's happening (i.e., all they know is that other kids are getting to dress up in cool costumes and go door to door for candy, but they can't.). So again, use discernment, and stand firm in whatever conviction the Lord leads you to from His Word!<br />
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I certainly don't condemn those who disagree with me. That's not the point of this post! I simply know that I want to take advantage of every opportunity provided to me to share the love of Christ with the people around me. Every day. Including October 31st.<br />
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<b><i><u>Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.</u> Colossians 4:5-6</i></b></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Photos courtesy of Google Images</span></i><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-83476018995450177642013-10-16T15:36:00.004-04:002013-10-16T15:36:14.326-04:00Sometimes I hate my job<strike>I had to seriously give myself a pep talk to do the dishes today. If there is one chore that is seriously just that--a CHORE--it's doing the dishes. UGH.</strike><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVMTvgBeTdtBCqNpzAD8ZBlHV_fSOGXJlm6BSZPlqdAMhK8UfUVQH1iVkMkUTIBA9_0coFc02mu5yhYURSbCqYTlLwpInzekxBN3X7z8w8g8QbUDruGqBWG3U4zb3cxM4ASknoNWETRN8/s1600/bth_dirty_dishes.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVMTvgBeTdtBCqNpzAD8ZBlHV_fSOGXJlm6BSZPlqdAMhK8UfUVQH1iVkMkUTIBA9_0coFc02mu5yhYURSbCqYTlLwpInzekxBN3X7z8w8g8QbUDruGqBWG3U4zb3cxM4ASknoNWETRN8/s200/bth_dirty_dishes.gif" width="198" /></a></div>
I just stormed away from the dishes in my kitchen. Well, I stormed to the fridge, poured myself a drink (cranberry juice, nothing fermented, though I probably would've drank some if I had it), grabbed some Oreos, and plopped onto the couch and watched some chef on the Food Network make <i><u>her</u> </i>family dinner. UGH. Dishes are clearly a common issue with me, given that those first lines up there (yeah, did you read those?) were written <i><u>days</u> </i>ago. But as dishes go, they always come back, always... And. It. SUCKS.<br />
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I've been having a pretty sucky day over all, as I did yesterday. I've been battling the same emotions again, the internal struggle of whether my worth outside the home would be greater than if I stayed here. Looking at my baby girl, I can't imagine leaving her, but this rut I keep getting stuck in is pretty miserable. I'm sure there are other moms who understand. (I hope...) I saw this commercial on tv that said something ridiculous like "When you're doing what you love, it's not work at all." I call bull-crap. *bleep*bleep*!! Lol. (Yeah, that kinda day.) Because I <b>love </b>being a mom, seriously!! But heck if it isn't work <u>every single day</u>. (Whew, this venting feels good! I actually just smiled.) And since this stay at home mom thing is a JOB, I <i><u>still</u> </i>gotta do the dishes. *grumble*grumble*grumble* Oh, and what made things worse? I had just posted a quote above my kitchen sink, and my husband joking about it the night before over a sink full of dishes did not make my mood any better. Here's the quote:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOeR-37cM3zqyXGxggRUV-TDDiNdUWGuZ0vG433cMfRaTbhUlwk1usa7wDyK4s1gX7riqbGXVpT0Jcby8tE-8moa_u6GQMHS3KNaMMfq1NdkkpuhzJfZWRwLwZiftsMmDaqILyIT_bkaU/s1600/privilege.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOeR-37cM3zqyXGxggRUV-TDDiNdUWGuZ0vG433cMfRaTbhUlwk1usa7wDyK4s1gX7riqbGXVpT0Jcby8tE-8moa_u6GQMHS3KNaMMfq1NdkkpuhzJfZWRwLwZiftsMmDaqILyIT_bkaU/s320/privilege.jpg" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How's that for some conviction for ya? Grrrr...</td></tr>
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So after I finished my juice and Oreos on the couch and glared at the woman on the screen making the perfectly prepared and "oh so easy" dinner for her family, I picked up my phone and scrolled through Facebook. (You thought I was going to say I called someone, didn't you? Can I just say that social media is <i><u>so</u> </i>pro-procrastination?!). I came across <a href="http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.com/2013/10/we-can-stop-and-we-will-stop-and-titus.html" target="_blank"><b>an incredibly timely post</b></a> that dealt with this ongoing problem I've been having with disciplining myself. <a href="http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.com/2013/10/we-can-stop-and-we-will-stop-and-titus.html" target="_blank"><b>It</b></a> made me simmer down a bit about my overall apathy towards my "job" as it reminded me Who I'm ultimately serving and why discipline and self-control are important. <i><u>Then</u> </i>I got a text from a friend literally at the EXACT MOMENT I was pounding away at these keys, venting in <i><u>this</u> </i>post. It was a<a href="http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/dont-give-up" target="_blank"><b> link to a post from desiringgod called Don't Give Up</b></a>. I saw the title in the url and <i><u>immediately</u> </i>started crying. <u><i>There it was</i></u><b>.</b> <i><u>There</u> </i>was my confirmation that the Lord was not just hearing me, He was <i><u>listening</u> </i>to me and <i><u>responding</u> </i>to me and <i><u>present</u></i> with me and<i> <u>how incredible is that!?!</u></i> Even when I'm angry and responding in my sinful way, and discouraged and hopeless and feeling like there is no way I could keep at this job, the Lord reminded me and encouraged me through His Word at <u>just the right time</u> that there is hope, and not to give up. So. thankful.<br />
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I can't say I'm disciplined yet or that in the one day that's passed (I wrote this post yesterday) that I always want to do the things that need to get done. I can't say when I <u>do</u> get stuff done I'm always doing it <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Colossians+3%3A23-24&version=NIV" target="_blank">gladly as unto the Lord</a> <i>(Col. 3:23-24)</i>, but I am so glad that sanctification is a <i>process</i>. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Lamentations+3%3A22-23&version=ESV" target="_blank">Every day there are new mercies</a><i> (Lam. 3:22-23)</i> and every day <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+4%3A6&version=NIV" target="_blank">the Lord has been providing me with more grace</a> <i>(James 4:6)</i>. Glory to Him!<br />
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Dishes are just a small part of my full time job and though in the grand scheme of things it seems to be so minor, I know my reaction to them shows the overall (bad, sinful) attitude of my heart towards this role God has placed me in. I wince just writing that, but I know that once I recognize it and surrender it to the Lord, He can then mold me into the vessel (wife, mom, sister, daughter, friend, human) He desires for me to look like, because what I am now is clearly not it. I'd much rather be soft clay in the hands of God than a hardened piece that has to be broken and broken again in order to take the form He desires and that brings Him the most glory.<br />
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Well, now my baby is screaming at me, and I can only assume that her attempts to unplug the laptop are her attempt to get my full attention. <u>Time to get back to work.</u><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHmrwmixk22ZFMwOp_AW6YigWGxkSveMAEBfWAPaUYYT8zaYgqXgg8mFK0pdXGcOUqSsdojilst6HHFvQTzgxW-1jLguB_yA3wTZUzkON9Ik5eVl1Pp2sWuvYm7-euWmmTHKQryVXvScU/s1600/dishes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHmrwmixk22ZFMwOp_AW6YigWGxkSveMAEBfWAPaUYYT8zaYgqXgg8mFK0pdXGcOUqSsdojilst6HHFvQTzgxW-1jLguB_yA3wTZUzkON9Ik5eVl1Pp2sWuvYm7-euWmmTHKQryVXvScU/s320/dishes.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I didn't write this, and I don't know who did, but I am definitely putting THIS above my sink!! The other quote will have to find a new home. :-)</td></tr>
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<b><u>Verses and Quotes for Conviction and Encouragement</u></b></div>
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<i>Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord you are serving.</i></div>
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-Colossians 3:23-24</div>
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<i>The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.</i></div>
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-Lamentations 3:22-23</div>
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<i>But He gives more grace. Therefore it says, </i><br />
<i>"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."</i></div>
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-James 4:6</div>
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<i>This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offereing I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done glady, if done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God's way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness.</i></div>
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-Elisabeth Elliot</div>
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<b><u>Song that Encouraged Me!</u></b><br />
<i>This one's a throwback!! I love how this song reminds me that no matter where we are in the world, in our life, that <u>God</u> is the one who in His sovereignty, put us there! And instead of lamenting that fact we should be trying to align ourselves with His plan!!</i></div>
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<br />Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-67772392622312208522013-10-04T13:32:00.000-04:002013-10-04T13:32:53.868-04:00When I burp you, I burp, tooBefore having Naomi I really had no baby experience. I have four younger siblings, but my older sister, who I fondly call Hermanita (despite the fact that she's 4 years older than me), typically took charge in assisting my parents in their (our) care. So this whole parenthood deal has really been learning as I go. Enter the burping phenomena....<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDrtpAt7Lej12PjZkxQuda5pdbb6wBGj09CzfF4Dglh2qojdmQettOYavGOTZnTwV5ZYmlLM6ke7jPZQJEzhz25qX_dlv-tYYzephQKZeVOlOTV1lnWDv7s6RIUGylAnaYyey_sZxO2vA/s1600/cartoon-baby-11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="294" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDrtpAt7Lej12PjZkxQuda5pdbb6wBGj09CzfF4Dglh2qojdmQettOYavGOTZnTwV5ZYmlLM6ke7jPZQJEzhz25qX_dlv-tYYzephQKZeVOlOTV1lnWDv7s6RIUGylAnaYyey_sZxO2vA/s320/cartoon-baby-11.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Those first couple months were definitely a struggle to find a balance of how much Naomi could eat before she had to burp to keep her from being fussy and uncomfortable for the rest of the day. There were times I would sit for what seemed like hours and just be patting, patting, patting her on the back. I'd lay her across my lap, have her on my shoulder, put her in a sitting position, lay her on her tummy, pat-pat-patting the entire time. It was exhausting, to be honest, because by the time I was able to get a little gas out of her little tummy, she'd be ready to eat all over again. Made for long days, that's for sure. Other times, she'd be happily eating away, not putting up a fuss, and with one pat on the back she'd let out a ginormous man-burp. Great, right? Nope, because up with the gas came all the food I just fed her. And then she'd be hungry again, and I'd be sad. Can a mama catch a break?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh19J3vSHZKQ3m6wOUSl6qGQXrqp_KyfE5DuQ794Ql1csR2gYYMg2SjiqdoGXYRkf9YRS4MtoolhsVcGjHtSP9AfIwq87G8q-xhNkuG0jz9uPSkCGoXONXyXc6MSWFXe5XTG_jh4dRogoE/s1600/13burping.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh19J3vSHZKQ3m6wOUSl6qGQXrqp_KyfE5DuQ794Ql1csR2gYYMg2SjiqdoGXYRkf9YRS4MtoolhsVcGjHtSP9AfIwq87G8q-xhNkuG0jz9uPSkCGoXONXyXc6MSWFXe5XTG_jh4dRogoE/s400/13burping.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why do all the mamas in the Google Images of burping children have happy faces? I, for one, am typically tired and maybe even a little sad when I have to go through all these burping positions. Lol. #firsttimemamadrama</td></tr>
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Here's a fun fact for ya: over half the time when I burp Naomi, I end up burping as well. The majority of the times when that happens, I'll burp first. Do you know how frustrated that used to make me?? Here I am at the crack of dawn or the middle of the night or even midday, typically wishing I could just close my eyes for a few minutes of sleep. Instead, I'm trying to accomplish the seemingly impossible task of getting a gas bubble out of my little one's tummy, and instead of that happening for her,<i> it happens to me</i>. I DON'T NEED TO BURP!!! I mean, really! She's the one who'll be crying and fussing and wriggling and making me feel like a failing mom if she doesn't adequately burp. Not me! I'm just fine burping her without burping myself, thank you very much.<br />
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I remember the first time the Lord showed me the spiritual lesson in this situation. I was sitting on my bed, sleepy (typical), and just so. freakin. tired. of working <i>so </i>hard to get the results out of my baby that I <i>knew </i>would make the day go much better. Then here<i> I</i> go, burping, when as far as I knew, I wasn't even gassy; Naomi was!<br />
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So often in life I will work hard and seek results out of other people. I'll see something in them that could use adjustment--character, attitude, whatever--and I'll put all my energy and good intentions into changing them for the better. More often than not when this is the case, I'll find out along the way that while I'm trying to do a work in someone else, the Lord is more importantly trying to do a work <i>in me</i>. For example, and of course this is purely hypothetical, hehe, there may be things about my husband--mannerisms or actions--that I am just <i>certain </i>that if I just work my wifely magic, I can change him and then things would be better in our home. There are friends I might pursue and begin going to work on them to make them into better people or better Christians, knowing that if I just do this, they'll be all better and the world would be better because of my actions. It can apply to so much more! Siblings, parents, coworkers--it doesn't matter who.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggPnMBBF7tTVmBzQLaWZ0HnbsBLVwXvAgq_5r76rmNJGP-GIiUXZuPfDQxM0aS7O6cjS4F2kAxZY_DlEezZmUeU4jWZ0kWMog_d4fXFejNtkeJpN5KL6PC1N6Sim2eM7ZqWAb1TpYQIdI/s1600/pride-bible-verses.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggPnMBBF7tTVmBzQLaWZ0HnbsBLVwXvAgq_5r76rmNJGP-GIiUXZuPfDQxM0aS7O6cjS4F2kAxZY_DlEezZmUeU4jWZ0kWMog_d4fXFejNtkeJpN5KL6PC1N6Sim2eM7ZqWAb1TpYQIdI/s400/pride-bible-verses.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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See, here's the problem with this mindset; it's rooted in pride! We've all heard (or maybe you haven't?) that saying of <i>"always at the center of pride is</i><b> I</b><i>"</i>. <b><i>I</i></b> am going to do this, this, and this, so that <i><b>I</b></i> can change this person, so that<b><i> I</i></b> can make things better. <b><i>I</i></b> am going to nag and complain and pursue and push to make things happen so that <i><b>I</b></i> can make the point that <b><i>my </i></b>way is indeed the best way. <b><i>I</i></b> am going to.... you fill in the blank from here! All along God is showing me, no, you may be trying to do this your way, <u>but I am going to do a work in you first</u>. You see, it isn't always that the things that we are doing or trying to change or make better are wrong. Is it wrong for me to want my friend to recognize where's she's strayed from the Lord and to turn back to Him? No, of course not! The issue arises when I become so consumed with <i>her </i>issues and problems that I forget about my own. My lack of humility and lack of awareness of my <i>own</i> need of grace leads to the Lord causing me to "burp first." He first does a work in me, and in doing so, perhaps then He does a work in someone else.<br />
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I am happy to say that burping Naomi has become much easier as the months have passed. She's much more adept at burping on her own, which definitely saves me some time and energy, and definitely some bibs. I really do believe that the Lord used this basic of parenting to open my eyes to my need of His work in me before I focus on someone else.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-87493814770364938502013-09-27T19:18:00.000-04:002013-09-27T19:18:03.867-04:00My baby's six months old!You know you're tired when you wake up and the first song in your head is "Big, Blonde, and Beautiful" from Hairspray and you haven't seen the movie in months. You know you're tired when you're ironing your husband's dress shirt like you have innumerable times before and you nearly burn yourself two or three times. You know you're tired when you go downstairs and realize that you were so tired from the night before that you forgot to turn off the light in the living room. (So much for lowering that electric bill.) You know you're tired when your baby spits up in your bed and you use a onesie that she's not wearing to wipe it up and lay right back down. (That sounds kinda gross when I write it out that way...) You know you're tired when you willingly let said baby gleefully whack you repeatedly with her teething toy while you're lying down if it means you get to close your eyes for a bit longer. You know you're tired when.... this list could go on and on! And that's only a peek at yesterday morning--a day that marked six months of life for our sweet Naomi Grace.<br />
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Here are some mind-blowing statistics for ya:<br />
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We've changed approximately 950 diapers.<br />
We've cleaned up the aftermath of 10 or less poopy diaper blowouts (not bad, eh?)<br />
We've lost a crazy amount of sleep.<br />
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Here are the things that make that other stuff fade into the background...<br />
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First smile. First laugh.<br />
First time flipping over.<br />
First time trying foods.<br />
Sitting up and scooting around.<br />
Snuggles, snuggles, and more snuggles.<br />
So. Much. More.<br />
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Parenthood is hardly easy. If that first paragraph didn't state it plainly enough, being a mom can be <i>exhausting</i>. It takes a ton of discipline, and Lord knows I'd be lying through. my. teeth. if I said I was even <i>close </i>to as disciplined as I know I need to be. I am <i>ever </i>so thankful for new mercies from God each and every day, because while I may be on track and doing great one day, the next day I can be an oversleeping, irritable, impatient mess. It's not like I didn't know this could/would be the case once I became a mom. However, experience can be way different than head knowledge, especially when it comes to parenting.<br />
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Being a mom to Naomi during these six months has been much more fun and rewarding than it has been trying, and I thank God for that! I am <i>incredibly </i>blessed to have such a strong, smart, and beautiful baby girl, and I look forward to doing life with her for years and years and years and YEARS to come! :-)<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px !important;" /></a>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-33942162524215079392013-05-28T18:30:00.000-04:002017-03-26T10:36:03.081-04:00Labor of Love: The Birth Story of Naomi Grace<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Nine months passed more quickly than I ever imagined it would. One day you're waddling around, back sore, hands wrapped around a belly with skin stretched tight. Next day you're lying back, pushing and panting and pouring forth life as one body becomes two. It all happened so fast.</div>
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The contractions were about ten minutes apart, and I lay there in the dark, attempting to grasp at fleeting bits of sleep between each tense moment. My eyes were blurry with exhaustion, and I kept a pen and note card underneath my pillow to remind myself to write down each time I felt the pain. I was far too tired to remember anything. Minutes became hours, and I finally shook my hard-working husband awake.<br>
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I was completely indecisive about whether I should go in or not. The day before I was one centimeter dilated, and who is to say whether it would be an hour or a week before my girl was to come? Early labor, false labor, whatever. <i>I ditched all the titles and just called it pain.</i> It started in my sides and seared through my back, and I realized the fetal position was for more than just the unborn. He decided for me, so off to the hospital we went.<br>
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The drive there is a blur, though I remember wincing as we went over every bump and pothole and braked for every light. And when we had to slow down because of the early morning traffic, I squeezed his hand and the handle of the door and <i>both he and I told me that I could make it</i>.<br>
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I was weak with exhaustion and exertion by the time I made it to the maternity ward, and the midwife said, <i>no way I would I have the energy to push without having had any sleep in 24 hours</i>. And upon being checked and found to be still at one, I faltered at the thought that it would be a long time coming before anything (or one) would be coming out of me.<br>
<br>
A long, long hour, the longest it seems I may have ever experienced, walking around the giant loop of the ward. Around and around, arms wrapped tightly around the husband's waist as he whispered quiet encouragements and he pressed hard against the pain that ripped through my back. Around and around, and we passed someone else, a mom and her daughter, reflecting the glazed look I had in my own eyes as she too walked her way towards a new title in life: Mom. Around and around, pausing for ice chips and bathroom breaks, but who can let loose fluid when all your muscles strain and tighten in rebellion? More pauses and prayers and as the intensity increased so did the volume of those <i>whispered encouragements to speak over the noise of doubt in my mind that I'd really be able to do this</i>.<br>
<br>
Finally the hour ended and they asked me to lay back once more, and I writhed and curled as the lines on the screen spiked and leveled out in tune to the contractions coursing through my body. After an hour of becoming not one, but three centimeters dilated, I was sure there was no way I could do it. (I had hoped to be further along.) Lack of sleep overwhelmed my thinking and my thoughts were taken over by every. single. person. who told me that<i> I'd want to do this without medicine....at least until the pain came.</i> <i>Then I'd be in my right mind and would take whatever they would give me, no questions asked.</i> (Didn't you know that in a time of crisis the pessimists completely take over your mind? <i>Watch your company and conversation, that's what I learned.</i>) So the midwife talked, and I rolled and tossed and simply wanted silence, and she told me again if I didn't get some sleep I wouldn't have the energy to push. Tears welled up and and I felt like a failure and the husband stepped in once again and told me<i> I could do this</i>, told the midwife <i>no medication would be necessary except for something to help me sleep</i>.<br>
<br>
So slept I did, as much as one can when it feels like a sumo-wrestler has made up his mind to squeeze every last breath out of you every few minutes. An hour passed, another half hour passed, and I was wide awake once again. There'd be no more sleep for hours to come.<br>
<br>
The midwife came, and I laid myself back, and was shocked to hear that <i>I went from one to three to eight</i>. She talked and I listened and squeezed squeezed squeeeeezed on the husband's hand and looked right into his eyes and asked him if I could do this, and<i> he said I absolutely could</i>. And every five, four, three minutes I squeezed and I asked and he answered and I believed him. <i>I absolutely could do this</i>. No turning back.<br>
<br>
Time in the tub and then time over the toilet and it's incredible how one takes for granted the most basic of bodily functions. The fear of the tube coming in me and draining me came on <i>far </i>stronger than the apprehension of a baby girl coming out of me, but the husband was there and <i>he made me look at him and told me it was okay, it wouldn't be bad</i>, and I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought, but I know I couldn't have done it without him.<br>
<br>
It was time. How did I know? I have no idea. But right before that my mom came in, checking on me as she had this whole time, and I love her so much for it, but I had eyes only for my husband, because <i>at that time we were one like never before</i>. She came and she smiled and supported and cared and empathized <i>as only she could, for six times over</i> had she been in my place and she knew what was to come. She was there, then she left--but not far away, just outside the door as I came to find out later on.<br>
<br>
<i>Are you ready to push? </i>came the question to me, and I had no idea because I'd never done this before. Forget all my research and my planning about positioning because I was in pain and<i> I wasn't getting out that bed until there was a baby in my arms</i>. The bed tilted and I realized, <i>this is real...this is real!</i> And as the contractions came, I grabbed hold of my husband and the nurse at my side and chin down, eyes squeezed shut, breath held, I pushed and I pushed and I stopped and panted and looked at my husband and he told me I could do this.<i> I could do this. I would do this.</i><br>
<br>
So an hour of this but perhaps shorter? it really seemed fast, then there was a shift change. It's a blur really, but a new nurse came in with the first nurse and husband and midwife, and<i> it's amazing how annoying people can hinder your progress.</i> What this new person took as encouragement, I took as harsh, and in frustration and pain, I yelled (or screamed?) for the very first time. The midwife told me that <i>it had be my most unproductive push yet</i>. But one can't explain the searing pain as you stretch and you tear and open yourself up for someone else, so literally! I determined in myself (and with the help of the husband) that if <i>I would hurt, I would hurt with purpose</i> (productive pain), so there would be no more yelling for the rest of the delivery.<br>
<br>
The mirror came out, much to my dismay, and the glass reflected a red messy blur, and thank God I didn't have my glasses. No matter how much they were amazed at how well I was doing for a first-timer, <i>I needed no convincing that my baby was coming out</i>. And speaking of God? oh, how wrong of me it would be to not place Him at His proper place and give credit where it's due because <i style="text-decoration: underline;">there's no way in the world I would have made it through without Him</i>!<br>
<br>
GOD gave me that man, <i>my wonderful husband</i>, the amazing one without whom I would not have been able to focus on my breathing and relaxation between and during every push. God gave me someone who's word I could trust when he told me that <i>I could do it, and I'm doing amazing, and he was so proud of me</i>. God gave me this man that I have come to love in a whole new way because of the labor and delivery process. So I give God his credit. And oh, for the Word! God's glorious Word! Scripture memory is <i>so important</i>, and the verse that echoed through my mind on that day was the same one that helped me during emotionally troubling times of high school. Incredible how, years later, as I experienced <i>both internal <u>and</u> external pain</i> it came to mind once more:<i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Corinthians%204:17-18&version=KJV" target="_blank"> this light affliction...is but for a moment...worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory...things that are not seen...are eternal</a></i>. The verse was fragmented and out of context and <i>I held onto it for dear life, </i>quite literally! <i>How light the affliction was in light of what was to come</i>, the birth of my sweet baby girl.<br>
<br>
And so the time came, and I vaguely remember it, almost an out-of-body experience of that final request to <i>Push!</i> and I did, with all my might! And I felt it--I can't even explain to you what it felt like... (When two become one, and one becomes two-in-one, and that two-in-one becomes two separate beings!?...<i>it's a miracle, really</i>.) Then came that indescribable feeling of life coming out, and of being so confused when she said, <i>Stop! Stop pushing! Breathe!</i> and I had no idea why til I felt and I saw, <i>that's my girl! MY GIRL!!</i> And the cord was clamped and her daddy cut it and she was placed in my arms, and it's all so surreal, but as I saw her wide eyes, open mouth, curly hair, body small and slick, I knew it was real. So real. I was (I am) a mom.<br>
<br>
The rest of the story I'll (maybe) tell another day, about the postpartum recovery and such. (Let me just say, the labor and delivery was <i>a breeze</i> in comparison.) But <i>who cares about all that</i>? Because all that really matters is that I gave birth to a precious little girl named<i> Naomi Grace</i> who I have the blessing of mothering which<i> both excites and scares me</i>. <u>I don't have to do it alone</u> <u>though</u>. <i><u>She has an awesome daddy who loves her to pieces, another awesome Daddy who died for her and we're praying for her to one day be in a relationship with, and Nanas and Papas and Aunties and Uncles and Godparents and just a whole big huge support system with a vested interest in her growth and development, physically, spiritually and beyond.</u></i><br>
<br>
I love this new life as a mom. I'm tired and showers are sometimes optional and when you're your child's sole source of nutrition for months on end, it can be quite draining (literally...). But it's worth it, and I love her and would go through this process again for sure. May I never forget the miracle of new life.<br>
<br>
<i>For your viewing pleasure....pictures from the (first) baby shower, then skipping ahead to some post-delivery and more current shots.</i><br>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga0AKq6GaZ0yPIwu5oNEUsD1-5j4jKLhFgQ64-EGI3-Np1n49OYq86Ls-3r_n9BhEQ8aiSJu1Lp0o0s9KT5UsvI6iygukwEhwm5KrZGSgJY1eaj1O_n2fjRawMRhuI7KPlWF5ea1CssZ4/s1600/IMG_0239.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga0AKq6GaZ0yPIwu5oNEUsD1-5j4jKLhFgQ64-EGI3-Np1n49OYq86Ls-3r_n9BhEQ8aiSJu1Lp0o0s9KT5UsvI6iygukwEhwm5KrZGSgJY1eaj1O_n2fjRawMRhuI7KPlWF5ea1CssZ4/s640/IMG_0239.JPG" width="426"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">Foooood!!!</td></tr>
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<i></i><br>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsC-A0mHkkm3MBqC_PeVIalW9XPMJoGNEe2z748-RKS8QQSUEV5efLiLeIh0imHWSbhjDUh_wMHawLZisfxdfG8EpWAwWaWHR0wN5y5DL-8rs8NK0Ko4IoYBdNgGVMtcd-MaNGmVOev2U/s1600/IMG_0229.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsC-A0mHkkm3MBqC_PeVIalW9XPMJoGNEe2z748-RKS8QQSUEV5efLiLeIh0imHWSbhjDUh_wMHawLZisfxdfG8EpWAwWaWHR0wN5y5DL-8rs8NK0Ko4IoYBdNgGVMtcd-MaNGmVOev2U/s640/IMG_0229.JPG" width="640"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">Gotta love edible centerpieces... All thanks to my mom for this crowd favorite! So cute and yummy! :-)</td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifhg1r1ygVILgC5IGCAN7P2EWhTUoHvkKsHvKsG3ieyJ5F4YGZ_ZmOcV-fEDlHeoDm64j6Rhn_c2rDvipchf1zw7xQQxLSjM4wnKPaTXXLcCjDcMUcTabo4KGA-jut9_C_GtNuzk6lHeA/s1600/IMG_0393.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifhg1r1ygVILgC5IGCAN7P2EWhTUoHvkKsHvKsG3ieyJ5F4YGZ_ZmOcV-fEDlHeoDm64j6Rhn_c2rDvipchf1zw7xQQxLSjM4wnKPaTXXLcCjDcMUcTabo4KGA-jut9_C_GtNuzk6lHeA/s640/IMG_0393.JPG" width="426"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">It's me! I keep saying that if it weren't for these pictures, it'd be hard for me to believe and remember that there was an actual BABY inside of me! </td></tr>
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<i></i><br>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjtN4r2tTTFfBoAM8VT67iOjnP4ELOIEBLu0JMJt7o9LrXXXpMje8iVHVp8mFIgE-aHxeoBilpDsy7RhD8oPicINGRGSdM3ns0Ml0OdN3UGF3xxh69bicNfCAUdfWr7_h141SwaPp2NLo/s1600/IMG_0367.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjtN4r2tTTFfBoAM8VT67iOjnP4ELOIEBLu0JMJt7o9LrXXXpMje8iVHVp8mFIgE-aHxeoBilpDsy7RhD8oPicINGRGSdM3ns0Ml0OdN3UGF3xxh69bicNfCAUdfWr7_h141SwaPp2NLo/s640/IMG_0367.JPG" width="426"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">Me and my daddy! He was working out of state and surprised me at the shower! Made me extra happy :-)</td></tr>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNcEznxN3PLs7KsHD9qaZmodwiXbtQANlXQ5dn-zUeQD9ik1Jwoa3EPamDXb7bRVNIeyeSztBKc8rymMZhKTGlmbRlIO6-8L-Vh_0LpzkM6EDCdPmnlUohgKTESYZ0cN1nH-WatTtcFQA/s1600/IMG_0390.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNcEznxN3PLs7KsHD9qaZmodwiXbtQANlXQ5dn-zUeQD9ik1Jwoa3EPamDXb7bRVNIeyeSztBKc8rymMZhKTGlmbRlIO6-8L-Vh_0LpzkM6EDCdPmnlUohgKTESYZ0cN1nH-WatTtcFQA/s640/IMG_0390.JPG" width="640"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">Whole family! (From left: bro, bro, mom and dad, me and the husband, sis, bro, sis, and bro-in-law)</td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCsoc5IstYMxHjGQVcfZYD4CA9WbiiZerRNEuZtD69qeNcOtqQwuY0h9-84pxDg6MsMnWyF1X9-HxJ9wY5a3FygknKZRejBP-NmXkDmkcuRodSBF8aV_OZDFwINwjUTxnQg5DIQmhb29o/s1600/IMG_0392.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCsoc5IstYMxHjGQVcfZYD4CA9WbiiZerRNEuZtD69qeNcOtqQwuY0h9-84pxDg6MsMnWyF1X9-HxJ9wY5a3FygknKZRejBP-NmXkDmkcuRodSBF8aV_OZDFwINwjUTxnQg5DIQmhb29o/s640/IMG_0392.JPG" width="426"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">Me again! I actually quite enjoyed being pregnant.</td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoFx_3LHjT-sMxSE17yUuQmkM3bTVLlkG-KrsGrU2lEMpcRjFWno_Hsur6TkAgCP16FCpTOrjoL-Mn0A1S5kt5vMyZeXIMyyDkML5QVWl0eWI8bzo-biKHMcxjK_QepVQzzAOPUNBhIuY/s1600/IMG_0382.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoFx_3LHjT-sMxSE17yUuQmkM3bTVLlkG-KrsGrU2lEMpcRjFWno_Hsur6TkAgCP16FCpTOrjoL-Mn0A1S5kt5vMyZeXIMyyDkML5QVWl0eWI8bzo-biKHMcxjK_QepVQzzAOPUNBhIuY/s640/IMG_0382.JPG" width="426"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">There were so many cameras! Hence the looking in different directions lol. The Husband and I with Naomi's godparents--his best friend and my bestest :-)</td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgotI4-wsOvQsXMhc-cWUESKmOGNDrZ8SnFcJQ55NVdYVlSIWTI7fzIkP9avZ-qh5o5Cy4clo1GylbjGzFqK8Y10dOqu_2FVQdDGM7dYWvv_SGqOWxOJ2dTMRDmls2ROnJESunpWS277XI/s1600/IMG_0435.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgotI4-wsOvQsXMhc-cWUESKmOGNDrZ8SnFcJQ55NVdYVlSIWTI7fzIkP9avZ-qh5o5Cy4clo1GylbjGzFqK8Y10dOqu_2FVQdDGM7dYWvv_SGqOWxOJ2dTMRDmls2ROnJESunpWS277XI/s640/IMG_0435.JPG" width="426"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">Not a shower photo, but I had to share! I think I was 38-ish weeks. </td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhygd0iUnVJvLt-4XFHecNyxri4M_CNH7CiK0rHo5EdsCdcb7EuJALjQvpMh1nqFRqL658iEKR9YrONy1yDQaTe62_3mVKH23D4TNW-Xy-1Be9NL3sN_CNthDfIfaTFoeiv3VswddMDBoM/s1600/2013-03-24_14-58-09_398.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhygd0iUnVJvLt-4XFHecNyxri4M_CNH7CiK0rHo5EdsCdcb7EuJALjQvpMh1nqFRqL658iEKR9YrONy1yDQaTe62_3mVKH23D4TNW-Xy-1Be9NL3sN_CNthDfIfaTFoeiv3VswddMDBoM/s640/2013-03-24_14-58-09_398.jpg" width="480"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">Taken two days before she was born. Had just had my hair straightened and cut. Definitely didn't do it for like a month and a half after she was born. Ick! But hair definitely wasn't high on the priority list w/ a newborn!</td></tr>
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Now on to the pictures you really care about...<br>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh9px5FnuMsaiwR8Q5uHA0gzDmZ5ZjgLiuLuCv25S3upl1w5irazGUT9pNPeLRxIbjKT329QPPxUzNcykRewWeEv43-sxt-pvk0i-6Ks1Mqgw6d-q1mNtDsVivjQsDICCgSO7uvDbrqJo/s1600/2013-03-26_18-40-58_329.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh9px5FnuMsaiwR8Q5uHA0gzDmZ5ZjgLiuLuCv25S3upl1w5irazGUT9pNPeLRxIbjKT329QPPxUzNcykRewWeEv43-sxt-pvk0i-6Ks1Mqgw6d-q1mNtDsVivjQsDICCgSO7uvDbrqJo/s640/2013-03-26_18-40-58_329.jpg" width="480"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">Just born.</td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheV9ckHTrFjGP-9n5XB1gh7_qbcY46rWRRfQL0nlxwXBmxYk-_Y4EuwJDPAL_0xWrrhwFtPq27-nhgg2CdV5J3PJFD01pC6YWhdERHeTXefErHp1samD6HJJiKCsmYJ1y4FsQMMPzHVJg/s1600/541333_10100217194961440_1431499698_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheV9ckHTrFjGP-9n5XB1gh7_qbcY46rWRRfQL0nlxwXBmxYk-_Y4EuwJDPAL_0xWrrhwFtPq27-nhgg2CdV5J3PJFD01pC6YWhdERHeTXefErHp1samD6HJJiKCsmYJ1y4FsQMMPzHVJg/s640/541333_10100217194961440_1431499698_n.jpg" width="640"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">On her birth-day.</td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaSncgoGf1YMHLxRX5qJtWeEftH6VF7Fj66O5ci7bmx7O8ssNoEMLPqcg0Sed3YwhmGyayzypVRDjQekvyPWrfGtpTJznrbquc5ImB65qZAkM9HfpMh8WmCNyyNaBsJp7p44fHJ91DNaw/s1600/2013-03-27_00-40-06_98.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaSncgoGf1YMHLxRX5qJtWeEftH6VF7Fj66O5ci7bmx7O8ssNoEMLPqcg0Sed3YwhmGyayzypVRDjQekvyPWrfGtpTJznrbquc5ImB65qZAkM9HfpMh8WmCNyyNaBsJp7p44fHJ91DNaw/s640/2013-03-27_00-40-06_98.jpg" width="480"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">She still doesn't like mittens...</td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7Z4IBK-kasNwL3zyPvYODGhgIIw8RsHtdT7De8gp9qHSoOiDgqL2usoIrP8RhdoodXQOO64tZbiE55D3yaMNUiT8-rkNpK_HWCXt5ulwBiGkQkm3Fbub7ILUS4aNNxxC9AE7_gGf7Ff0/s1600/2013-03-27_00-58-29_257.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7Z4IBK-kasNwL3zyPvYODGhgIIw8RsHtdT7De8gp9qHSoOiDgqL2usoIrP8RhdoodXQOO64tZbiE55D3yaMNUiT8-rkNpK_HWCXt5ulwBiGkQkm3Fbub7ILUS4aNNxxC9AE7_gGf7Ff0/s640/2013-03-27_00-58-29_257.jpg" width="640"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">Me and my sweet baby girl.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik5DS75DPJHsmVigSVaO8G0uO3dfM0izwjtsJzE0UB9SjIEXCwvEj5z1bz5VmGy4PpvcFimLhKaTFIQPbD0IqqImh-uOIEUKziCJVZAJqMKYS8XTREqLdcVf-mu0VJ-rHSoQlRoa7F1K0/s1600/2013-03-29_09-52-15_931.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik5DS75DPJHsmVigSVaO8G0uO3dfM0izwjtsJzE0UB9SjIEXCwvEj5z1bz5VmGy4PpvcFimLhKaTFIQPbD0IqqImh-uOIEUKziCJVZAJqMKYS8XTREqLdcVf-mu0VJ-rHSoQlRoa7F1K0/s640/2013-03-29_09-52-15_931.jpg" width="480"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.727272033691406px;">Man, she loved that swaddle early on! This was after she came home from the hospital. :-)</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6aF46kE6iaqXgxJmbWf9aVUGBpLsxY_ps4F7eV7cJ5uTvDvGltaTF-mhPyhNqSvvWea1kUCc5vZFnmfk9Ixn8daY4mjUjCM4U90R-waCCly3hV29HELoQ9xWkvzbQfPOgLVx-LXfQ57E/s1600/2013-03-31_15-12-47_837.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6aF46kE6iaqXgxJmbWf9aVUGBpLsxY_ps4F7eV7cJ5uTvDvGltaTF-mhPyhNqSvvWea1kUCc5vZFnmfk9Ixn8daY4mjUjCM4U90R-waCCly3hV29HELoQ9xWkvzbQfPOgLVx-LXfQ57E/s640/2013-03-31_15-12-47_837.jpg" width="482"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">5 days old. Happy Easter!</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2QS34EjaN1ruMz8CqmRdrMPSKksmNNvn3cFUTsKJYziUSAXenmNiM1Bz74xmyD0bR_HlBOf28iXqsY6w2heaF8IB4Gp2ZlRs_OAedqLIThXe1AwtRzqCYvkndjMLCY3ezt4gdv1iAPhE/s1600/2013-03-31_20-19-31_525.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2QS34EjaN1ruMz8CqmRdrMPSKksmNNvn3cFUTsKJYziUSAXenmNiM1Bz74xmyD0bR_HlBOf28iXqsY6w2heaF8IB4Gp2ZlRs_OAedqLIThXe1AwtRzqCYvkndjMLCY3ezt4gdv1iAPhE/s640/2013-03-31_20-19-31_525.jpg" width="480"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">5 days old and looking like her daddy :-)</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDdz6fEVx2DmBJ_lknfCd5SEt0pG_rcUL9_wLcE5y0uWEcrYwLnr1ecTOHt2tH2DnOAP1hoZGUh_0xw-sXQYA5U_F7CGwJS1xc3liPRK1fI6pDjrW36h8qQI8ItwmHhgEOhxu7gUHfTI/s1600/2013-04-02_21-41-42_914.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDdz6fEVx2DmBJ_lknfCd5SEt0pG_rcUL9_wLcE5y0uWEcrYwLnr1ecTOHt2tH2DnOAP1hoZGUh_0xw-sXQYA5U_F7CGwJS1xc3liPRK1fI6pDjrW36h8qQI8ItwmHhgEOhxu7gUHfTI/s640/2013-04-02_21-41-42_914.jpg" width="480"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Awww. She couldn't have been more than a couple weeks in this picture.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIKwwvwCaTQ_U5MgVbJOUREBPoblR99w6nUm8y-9VOi15DCd76NAVmgHsxUi4ofy-PdlwsDfEVwv7JC1C6nC26iBYQ4IfFr_7jLqcGtobnZo-vnq2l2oXXlx2RBWswlYP03jbrJWP_Kqc/s1600/IMG_1153.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIKwwvwCaTQ_U5MgVbJOUREBPoblR99w6nUm8y-9VOi15DCd76NAVmgHsxUi4ofy-PdlwsDfEVwv7JC1C6nC26iBYQ4IfFr_7jLqcGtobnZo-vnq2l2oXXlx2RBWswlYP03jbrJWP_Kqc/s640/IMG_1153.JPG" width="640"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mama and baby were tired.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTlF9fTbL_RzMtiMH6Vb90Z7YTw4c96B7DexPAyyoc71-4lq_GsxIanG0LXOtP7Zz3tcZOoD5fheRhyphenhyphengE2HsxppmX50YY6cUd7aekMEZWBKB6SXVtYIv19i1mWNXSIO1d_eY_noqxYKYg/s1600/IMG_1156.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTlF9fTbL_RzMtiMH6Vb90Z7YTw4c96B7DexPAyyoc71-4lq_GsxIanG0LXOtP7Zz3tcZOoD5fheRhyphenhyphengE2HsxppmX50YY6cUd7aekMEZWBKB6SXVtYIv19i1mWNXSIO1d_eY_noqxYKYg/s640/IMG_1156.JPG" width="426"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mama mustered up the energy to hang outside for a bit.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi006Jx6T-s98aBp-bnjJzQzlZnIjCi6esRzeXA632AhipxyaSeud5MlxC5Ew53JrENNZkX98HEZPjOVOJ4h3gDCDr0CpI30J85qM0TXPu-isBIv-RsI0kHleYGufv2ZMv4ybpUNFU9blo/s1600/IMG_1175.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi006Jx6T-s98aBp-bnjJzQzlZnIjCi6esRzeXA632AhipxyaSeud5MlxC5Ew53JrENNZkX98HEZPjOVOJ4h3gDCDr0CpI30J85qM0TXPu-isBIv-RsI0kHleYGufv2ZMv4ybpUNFU9blo/s640/IMG_1175.JPG" width="426"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Naomi made herself quite comfortable in daddy's arms :-)</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKmyefVUfDH8A51P4vVZE9n2yZn9jpe01Y7QXxu-Fpx57kw25wueWPztIFJ2KKkHaAOOWF8tpaREltuXd6KPIMxDaUs52Dba83zrbnjoQnubYYxEbC8Jnv6prvgJIGJJROL4EgoRhiRao/s1600/IMG_1176.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKmyefVUfDH8A51P4vVZE9n2yZn9jpe01Y7QXxu-Fpx57kw25wueWPztIFJ2KKkHaAOOWF8tpaREltuXd6KPIMxDaUs52Dba83zrbnjoQnubYYxEbC8Jnv6prvgJIGJJROL4EgoRhiRao/s640/IMG_1176.JPG" width="640"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Family picture! Yay Auntie Erin for catching the candid moments.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMq2AryxlvQhgY-QkekhGA34JzaWgRHniVpCRZ816hJGV-nLP_v-hF9b_GE_RLEVgqItb3K0gaGPNJWA2R0Ekss4jqY7KoLQKF-6iViM2RX-hTYgo2tikerhMx3hZkmU7Ly-Cd3vPLYvE/s1600/IMG_1181.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMq2AryxlvQhgY-QkekhGA34JzaWgRHniVpCRZ816hJGV-nLP_v-hF9b_GE_RLEVgqItb3K0gaGPNJWA2R0Ekss4jqY7KoLQKF-6iViM2RX-hTYgo2tikerhMx3hZkmU7Ly-Cd3vPLYvE/s640/IMG_1181.JPG" width="640"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They're always making faces at each other. Daddy-daughter time is too precious!</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2O3lnsHTq49mOLRm_EZqNODxCzLGjK4Vqvwnk8HuSePrR3NZEL_S6jg40iHFEweXvQzawqjQyWoSW2LJ74JZE-_PhIpnOp5N_I1zd39ZN3q40KKPAU_R94ibc_Xcgm5Ae300yhOHwX4c/s1600/2013-04-28_23-13-30_478.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2O3lnsHTq49mOLRm_EZqNODxCzLGjK4Vqvwnk8HuSePrR3NZEL_S6jg40iHFEweXvQzawqjQyWoSW2LJ74JZE-_PhIpnOp5N_I1zd39ZN3q40KKPAU_R94ibc_Xcgm5Ae300yhOHwX4c/s640/2013-04-28_23-13-30_478.jpg" width="480"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Her Auntie Nini makes sure she's in constant supply of adorable animal print clothes :-) And her Auntie Erin makes sure her mama stays stylish ;-)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyjhX0-fpefJmdzO0Sr7EvZjy6RRhSYtbl2bEMOcCnq3Xk2kLkRrXt4VGYnRrgwZ6PsUVoL59ZUhyxROhEgcouYIQD5P0uk_FoZRoR3Yjj1nAXqAG4M5XI6z8F4LFHw19-5SEyV4bTJZk/s1600/2013-05-02_22-23-13_734.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyjhX0-fpefJmdzO0Sr7EvZjy6RRhSYtbl2bEMOcCnq3Xk2kLkRrXt4VGYnRrgwZ6PsUVoL59ZUhyxROhEgcouYIQD5P0uk_FoZRoR3Yjj1nAXqAG4M5XI6z8F4LFHw19-5SEyV4bTJZk/s640/2013-05-02_22-23-13_734.jpg" width="480"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Posing!</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaDqCfWsEWv0v0lnjiGxk6Agu8lTbGWQItxWLRIHFWHxL972LcYdCut8mmD_G_harFNSeSDcWOqb9oeH2NnJbQxHOj-vVE4WpGhzGzm2lgggsXZ3RsbtWoreYQZgOcS729kgA9ObQn49Y/s1600/2013-05-12_13-51-31_595.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaDqCfWsEWv0v0lnjiGxk6Agu8lTbGWQItxWLRIHFWHxL972LcYdCut8mmD_G_harFNSeSDcWOqb9oeH2NnJbQxHOj-vVE4WpGhzGzm2lgggsXZ3RsbtWoreYQZgOcS729kgA9ObQn49Y/s640/2013-05-12_13-51-31_595.jpg" width="640"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Mama, I'm too tired for pictures!"</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr1qgy6lpvtZ7e5TFRicwYdc6MMC1NgklC6mGOBqgAua3FKofnidZj6KnlZW6-NZ0a2wlaoh3qjQfteObxPgvTBUBgc0tRXf09xhtDvIUOrJ1X-4gPOOEyb5riakSdBgTWzu9D5DVaSUg/s1600/2013-05-14_22-26-21_799.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr1qgy6lpvtZ7e5TFRicwYdc6MMC1NgklC6mGOBqgAua3FKofnidZj6KnlZW6-NZ0a2wlaoh3qjQfteObxPgvTBUBgc0tRXf09xhtDvIUOrJ1X-4gPOOEyb5riakSdBgTWzu9D5DVaSUg/s640/2013-05-14_22-26-21_799.jpg" width="480"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Time to fly around the house with daddy!</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ZO5TVXWRZ1T1hMVdYcwRfRuroRmGltFPSJ92UvrbGZilMkIivyvTPUzWx6tdE547vZ5q7RDnT3Kmo_MuVSyGQh9uqjRf7SQf7zf63diJwJIH71vHfeO1Qt_vzqsTEBKZKwhvM3qK6sI/s1600/2013-05-19_17-56-25_160.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ZO5TVXWRZ1T1hMVdYcwRfRuroRmGltFPSJ92UvrbGZilMkIivyvTPUzWx6tdE547vZ5q7RDnT3Kmo_MuVSyGQh9uqjRf7SQf7zf63diJwJIH71vHfeO1Qt_vzqsTEBKZKwhvM3qK6sI/s640/2013-05-19_17-56-25_160.jpg" width="480"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This little girl melts our hearts!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR_Mv8NPVW2m67h8RcFmtYOzRAhQ-yRWXdJG2LsMlcDLRLVp1AtukDhDVOK1eFh7n2r_-BROzqO7EErn9F5aJj6Fgn_vLtS6AJxat06zF6nQ4rAx0VHbliQtCcuLDWFi7MgdI0nzy0-zY/s1600/2013-05-19_17-56-35_959.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR_Mv8NPVW2m67h8RcFmtYOzRAhQ-yRWXdJG2LsMlcDLRLVp1AtukDhDVOK1eFh7n2r_-BROzqO7EErn9F5aJj6Fgn_vLtS6AJxat06zF6nQ4rAx0VHbliQtCcuLDWFi7MgdI0nzy0-zY/s640/2013-05-19_17-56-35_959.jpg" width="480"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look at that smile :-)</td></tr>
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Hope you enjoyed hearing Naomi's birth story and seeing pictures of my precious little girl. :-)<br>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;"></a><br>
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-14792558620638338012013-05-13T10:57:00.001-04:002013-05-13T10:57:49.677-04:00Back to the blog world, this time with a baby!Today marks exactly two months from the last time I blogged, which was March 13. In <a href="http://livingsalty.blogspot.com/2013/03/anniversary-moving-pregnancy-mini-life.html" target="_blank">that post</a>, I said that if you didn't hear from me within the week, that I had the baby. Wellllll, I actually had my baby almost two weeks from that time, so lo siento guys for not getting another post done before then! But in my defense, there was so much going on!<br />
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So, yes. My baby is here. I love her to pieces. It's so hard to imagine life without her! I lose sleep, hardly eat, and don't have nearly as much time for myself, and you know what? I wouldn't trade it for anything. I definitely plan to share about the day leading up to her birth, but I'll save that for another post. In the meantime, I'll share a picture of her on her birth-day.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_E3Z5GwkVAkv3yIZ0WEU2M6Wt-yn_96rfWOJwBTkyoOxWTXPDrQXqh0wIXHI_5OwnVmNwK5LnGYCZGWSZfETGqa9hKXeSYXzOYJ2uOIDiReWhs2PC61dybeAr2bsR0zAJx5amkv2GeGs/s1600/541333_10100217194961440_1431499698_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_E3Z5GwkVAkv3yIZ0WEU2M6Wt-yn_96rfWOJwBTkyoOxWTXPDrQXqh0wIXHI_5OwnVmNwK5LnGYCZGWSZfETGqa9hKXeSYXzOYJ2uOIDiReWhs2PC61dybeAr2bsR0zAJx5amkv2GeGs/s640/541333_10100217194961440_1431499698_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i>Naomi Grace, born on Tuesday, March 26 at 5:37pm, 6 lbs., 4 oz., 19.5 in.</i></div>
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Stay tuned for her birth story and life after baby!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-48073016981345212112013-03-13T03:39:00.000-04:002013-03-13T03:39:07.085-04:00Anniversary, Moving, Pregnancy... Mini Life Update!I literally had to go back and see what the last post I wrote was because it's been <i>that </i>long since I've written. A whole month, ya'll! Good grief. In my defense though, I have <i>so </i>much going on!! This post is just to give you a brief update of what's been going on in my life and what I'll be sharing in upcoming posts (and yes, I shall include pictures in the upcoming posts!).<br />
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Well for one, my first wedding anniversary has come and gone. It was February 25. The husband and I had a great evening out together. It's incredible how much can happen in a year, man! And it's even more incredible how quickly that year passed by! Definitely learning to cherish every single moment the Lord blesses us with.<br />
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Next up on the list? I'm currently 37 weeks and 5 days pregnant, meaning I'm due in two weeks and two days, ahhh! I haven't been consistently doing the weekly photos (sorry, ya'll) but once I do my next pregnancy post, I promise to include what pictures I do have, and even some from the baby showers that were thrown for us :-) And lemme just give this little disclaimer: if you don't hear from me within the week, you can just assume that baby girl has come early, in which case this blog definitely goes on the back burner again. Not for forever, but maybe for a while. I hear having a newborn can be kinda tiring... ;-)<br />
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We're moving! The Lord blessed us with an amazing new home! It was such a blessing being where we've been for this first year, but the Lord has truly shown that <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James%205:16b&version=KJV" target="_blank">the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth MUCH</a>, and He blessed us with a place that <i>exceeded </i>even what we were praying for. We'll be officially moved in (i.e., staying the night!) by Thursday! Hello, new beginnings :-)<br />
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I'm pretty sure there have been other cool and exciting things happening, but that's all that's coming to mind at this current moment. And just so ya know, "this current moment" happens to be at 3:30 in the morning. Baby girl is already throwing off my sleep times, and she hasn't even arrived yet! Which brings me to this adorable (though slightly disheartening haha--j/k) meme I found on Pinterest... I'll be back soon ya'll, pinky promise!! (Unless the baby comes early ;-))<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgciDX5lMRj3ScrzyMSdBNhuUWXPlsqcWTKV3aDFkJj4Ht0JAeL3ZJl3D6OGiH_rHMCS5aLKy8zMLoAwBjWjkQk2XhcIyvGgNfVyOLaabtyIHXjJGAR_Cz3ne2qjorZSKY1y0Aqp9EPKGQ/s1600/163297_534346613276657_1039341064_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="387" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgciDX5lMRj3ScrzyMSdBNhuUWXPlsqcWTKV3aDFkJj4Ht0JAeL3ZJl3D6OGiH_rHMCS5aLKy8zMLoAwBjWjkQk2XhcIyvGgNfVyOLaabtyIHXjJGAR_Cz3ne2qjorZSKY1y0Aqp9EPKGQ/s400/163297_534346613276657_1039341064_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489525155591229843.post-71255037188261521402013-02-14T14:16:00.001-05:002013-02-14T14:16:29.850-05:00Not just Valentine's Day, but every dayHappy Valentine's Day, people! Or...not so happy day? I'm one of those people who, as I crossed the threshold from elementary to middle school, and even more so as I went from middle school to high school, began to despise this day. I found it sad and somewhat repulsive that so many girls found their worth and felt loved simply because some guy who typically lasted about a week, if that, would get them flowers or candy and some cheap (albeit, adorable) teddy bear. Ick. Gross. Not my thing. I loved sharing Valentine's Day with friends and family though, but the whole relationship aspect of it always made the day seem shallow overall.<br />
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Fast-forward to now, and Valentine's Day still isn't my <i>favorite </i>holiday, but I've learned to appreciate it. I've always gotten loads of love from my family and closest friends, and the Husband (who shows me love every day, not just this day!) takes advantage of the fact that he loves giving gifts to spoil me a bit. Gotta say, I love it ;-)<br />
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Oh, but the ultimate Lover... Love wouldn't even be a topic of conversation if it weren't for Him! My capacity to love my husband, my family, my friends, my enemies, strangers? It would be absolutely non-existent had He not first shown me what true love is. My Savior relentlessly pursued me and <strike>showed me</strike> <i>showered </i>me with a love that extended beyond feeling and into actions that have eternal repercussions. He took my heart, hardened by worldly perceptions of love, and He replaced it with one that was soft and not only able to let love in, but to give love out. He has shown Himself to be actually <i>jealous </i>for me, <i>wanting </i>me, <i>choosing </i>me! Even when I've attempted to "break things off" He has been right there. Talk about a consistent love!! So for Jesus, <i>who is love</i>, I am ever so grateful.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9G2Qawj1oms5qH_Sfp-NtikiKv58vllZdvH_7eTxzbWvecGwB1OuUsuCNnrEAyinOSg_GNoxnv-0uPtieKUgroxl-FV7i0AanQsDcL9posrkYtcl3EijyZRaEvgAoaD3cKU0yKehyphenhyphenEzE/s1600/perfect-love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="396" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9G2Qawj1oms5qH_Sfp-NtikiKv58vllZdvH_7eTxzbWvecGwB1OuUsuCNnrEAyinOSg_GNoxnv-0uPtieKUgroxl-FV7i0AanQsDcL9posrkYtcl3EijyZRaEvgAoaD3cKU0yKehyphenhyphenEzE/s640/perfect-love.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I know it's so easy to throw around on Valentine's Day these "helpful" sentiments of <i>Oh, don't feel down or be upset because you don't have a man/boyfriend/fiance/husband/boo-thang; you have even better because you have JESUS!</i> While that might be true, our humanity doesn't cease because we're saved. I think it's even more beautiful to come to Him transparent and broken and wanting and needing, and then be absolutely amazed when He fills us with exactly what our heart truly longs for--more of Him. Not just February 14th of every year, but every single day. </div>
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<i><b>Are you doing anything for Valentine's Day this year?</b></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4086cE-gwMBtfVQ11gIc8Cm2ohoKfrsflEJf96QuKvCJiLRt2FAJJ_j1zrTsK3-zLcJXpmibU2hnyGmMpDhYduc16TTFiA2QYXSmQ8tRuDEZwP1tPkDshh7WR87I5g4dDlxYH0CG5aV0/s1600/5447389880_a0e0e8bae7_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4086cE-gwMBtfVQ11gIc8Cm2ohoKfrsflEJf96QuKvCJiLRt2FAJJ_j1zrTsK3-zLcJXpmibU2hnyGmMpDhYduc16TTFiA2QYXSmQ8tRuDEZwP1tPkDshh7WR87I5g4dDlxYH0CG5aV0/s640/5447389880_a0e0e8bae7_z.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Get to know Him!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSX77Q1Vpml-Yga0HGTRKyNCp8lPmGcZUTEWHH7LeOlGiQkw4r318fN2qc_4Pze0gIhTfKsqi7rWmbL4Rt9tkyAtMMyJgEvIl0b8wx9PscUtdeJKSUJfwhsltN81YuKu0w9mFwqTxr5uU/s1600/4332_576229394600_6550296_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSX77Q1Vpml-Yga0HGTRKyNCp8lPmGcZUTEWHH7LeOlGiQkw4r318fN2qc_4Pze0gIhTfKsqi7rWmbL4Rt9tkyAtMMyJgEvIl0b8wx9PscUtdeJKSUJfwhsltN81YuKu0w9mFwqTxr5uU/s640/4332_576229394600_6550296_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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First Valentine's Day with the (now) Husband.</div>
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February 2009.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuhNK6p3gRKmy9NixZkCT793i0WL_r775Kb4KqnIXFyNjQdYpCKVtBcjTo8jl-kcx67vRgcRgPLfTUCtfQKXvBxWJaaqhn9mIGY86flK3dkHhtNNkHP5zPbvCma7_r81S3J7QcAHF4kkg/s1600/181649_10150188033721632_1045249_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuhNK6p3gRKmy9NixZkCT793i0WL_r775Kb4KqnIXFyNjQdYpCKVtBcjTo8jl-kcx67vRgcRgPLfTUCtfQKXvBxWJaaqhn9mIGY86flK3dkHhtNNkHP5zPbvCma7_r81S3J7QcAHF4kkg/s640/181649_10150188033721632_1045249_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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Valentine's Day 2011.</div>
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<b>Some Music for ya...</b><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/TWgeUrD4MHI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<i>How He Loves by David Crowder Band</i><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/TvbdorBGzbQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<i>Looking for Love by Trip Lee</i></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">May you feel loved today and every day!!</span></i></b></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/179/4A20BCC3BBED7EFC7A684FDF5B109803.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01412499995662875908noreply@blogger.com0