"First comes the love, then comes the...whaa..??"

Ah, don't we all remember the little childhood rhyme? Though, looking back, not much "childish" about it, ha! But from a very young age, it seems we are taught that there is a certain order and structure to life that is meant to be followed. In some aspects, yes, I do agree. But in this newlywed  phase of life, when it seems like everyone around me is popping out the little ones, all the singles are getting engaged, all the marrieds are celebrating life milestones, I think know that the main thing the Lord is trying to teach me is to sloooowww dooowwwwnnnn....

Did you happen to read through all that crossed out stuff? If you didn't, don't worry you didn't miss out on anything except IRONY. (Which means you need to go back and read it. Now.) In case you did read it and the irony is lost on you, let me explain. I started this post (yes, that exact above paragraph) on June 18th of this year. I never finished it because I didn't know how to finish it, and also for one other reason. Less than one month later, on July 16th to be specific, I found out I was pregnant. I am sitting here laughing to myself and shaking my head (lol-ing and smh-ing?) even as I type that out because it is so...yes, I shall say it again...ironic!! I mean goooo figure.

In some ways I think writing out that pre-pregnancy post was me trying to prove to myself that I really was coming to accept the fact that I don't need to do things in the same timing as others. And that really is true. I don't. God has a timing specific to everyone's individual life, so why try to walk in someone else's shoes? So why am I pregnant, you ask? Well, fact is, birth control only works if you take it when you're supposed to. So there ya go.

(Sidenote: we always knew this would happen. Don't know how we knew, but we just did. Maybe God was preparing us? Or maybe it was just the simple fact that expecting me to remember to take a pill every day at the same time every day was absolutely laughable. Don't know that we'll be trying that again! That's a whole 'nother conversation though...)

So here I am, nearly a month later and now I have to deal with all these emotions I'm having.

Yay! I'm having a baby! You're only pregnant because you wanted to be like other people. I'm glad I'm pregnant! I wouldn't be if God didn't want me to be! You are so unprepared for this. There goes the rest of your life. That's what you get for not having discipline with your pills. You don't even like birth control! Therefore you should've expected to get pregnant; therefore, you should be happy. 

And so on and so forth. I wish I could say that early on, most of my thoughts were positive and that I was just bubbling with excitement. I mean, there were times that I did feel that way, but the fact is, my emotions varied so far and wide that I wasn't sure what was at the core of what I truly felt.

And then came the morning sickness. O. M. G. Worst three months of my life. I mean, seriously. Talk about teetering into depression. I lost between 3-6 pounds during my first trimester, and I only recently got back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Words simply cannot express how absolutely miserable it was to spend the majority of the day leaning over a toilet or always needing a trashcan next to the couch or the bed or always having to keep a plastic bag (or two or three) in the car because I threw up whenever I drove (or was a passenger!) from pregnancy-induced motion sickness. I got the worst hot flashes, and come to find out, public stripping is unacceptable. Everything smelled disgusting. Everything tasted disgusting. Commercials with food looked disgusting. Everything Jeremiah made during that time was disgusting. Life sucked. Blah blah blah. My poor husband! Poor ME!! haha.

It's true. Whoever called it morning sickness must've been a man or some very, very, very lucky woman.

(Sidenote: Want the gory details?? Once I brushed my teeth after I threw up because I didn't like the gross feeling in my mouth. The taste of the toothpaste made me gag, and I threw up again. At least I was already in the bathroom. Yay for positive thinking...!!)

(Sidenote part 2: I do give God all praise though because the way things were ordered, I ended up submitting my two week notice for Things Remembered just a few days before we found out about the baby! The decision to leave was totally unrelated to the pregnancy (I wasn't experiencing morning sickness yet), yet in God's perfect plan. Cuz there's no way I would've survived that retail job and those crazy hours and all that stress with how I was feeling! So glory be to GOD!)

You're probably wondering why in the world I'm sharing all this. I'm actually wondering this myself. Well, I guess I wanted to finish the post I started all those months ago :-) But seriously, even as I'm writing I know this can come across as a bunch of complaints with no real solutions. I guess there are some things I want to clear up, both for myself and for others. For one, I know it's easy to try to keep up appearances. For those of you who read this and are friends with me on Facebook, I'm sure you'd have to agree that most of my statuses are happy and excited about having a little one on the way, and let me be clear, those posts are totally genuine. But getting to the point where I could share that happiness and it actually be how I truly feel....well, that's been a process.

When you really think about it, no one expects for you (me--Christ-follower, married woman) to be feeling anything but sheer joy at the announcement of a child. And even if there's the slightest inclination towards that, no one would expect for you to be broadcasting those mixed feelings to the world. I mean, how un-Christian-like is that!? (more transparency needed in the body, anyone?) Also, it's so easy to hear about the good stuff with pregnancy, all the oohs-and-ahhs and not the hard, uncomfortable, I-think-I'm-going-to-die-why-does-sex-have-to-lead-to-misery-and-BABIES moments. Well, here I am, broadcasting. Just me and my flaws...flaws and all? I hate Beyonce. Well, hate's a strong word lol. Dislike. Where was I? Oh yeah. Broadcasting. The Lord has seriously brought me (and the Husband too, actually) a LONG way since that fateful July day, and it would just be wrong to not give testimony to what HE's done!

So there ya go. This is the intro to me sharing the spiritual, emotional, and physical road I've been travelling since finding out about baby girl (who I love immensely!). It's a road I didn't want to be on at first, but that I'm so thankful and HAPPY to be on now.

How'd I get from those initial emotions to where I am now? Why did I have mixed emotions to begin with? How has being pregnant affected my relationship with both God and the Husband? Stay tuned for Part 2....

Having Fun Isn't Hard When You've Got A Library Card!

I love Arthur, man. Nope, I didn't accidentally write that in the present tense; I still enjoy the show now! :-) Arthur taught me how to spell "aardvark", the greatness it is to own a library card, and all sorts of other cool stuff! Ya know, I think I just may get on Netflix and watch some Arthur after this :) Just kidding, maybe some other time. Lol. Anyways, in case you didn't know, my status is from a song on Arthur, that you can listen to here, it's pretty awesome. It randomly popped into my head when I looked over at the stack of books I have next to my bed that are on my "to do" list to read!



Technically I didn't get most...well, actually any of these books from the library; a friend let me borrow them! (She actually just got married a few months ago, and I so admire how she and her hubby have actively been drawing near to the Lord, and thus to each other, from their dating, to engagement, to now!) A couple of the books are actually from my personal library though (personal library = the box in my closet I just started unpacking two days ago).

One thing I really want to do is take in as many resources as possible in preparation for becoming a wife, and Lord willing one day a mother! The first and main resource will continue to be my Bible, and the other books will just be supporting literature. Here are some (or maybe I'll just include all!) of the ones that I plan to have finished between now and February...

This book is amazing already! This topic and these lessons excite me, and it's like ahhh, I really am about to be a wife, and one day a mom! That's enough to bring me to my knees right there, and cry out the Lord to make His Word clear and real and apparent and evident in the fruit of my life! 

I started this one a couple years ago, and never quite finished it... I figure now is as good a time as any to pick it back up though!

Single, dating, engaged, married, EVERYONE can read this book. It's crazy how the world's view of sex and things related to it can begin to subconsciously permeate our thinking and distort the way GOD views it and how we should also see it! Plus this is by Piper!? Looking forward to getting to this one.

I was lost but now I'm found! While this typically refers to the person lost without Christ then being found by Him, I am actually referring to the fact that I borrowed this book from my bestest years ago and definitely thought I lost it :-/ But lo and behold, it was in the unpacked box, go fig! I was LOVING it before I semi-lost it, so I'm definitely looking forward to getting back into it. EVERYONE READ THIS!!! It's amazing. And now I get to relate it to the covenant of marriage, woohoo!

Just like Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, people have super distorted views of marriage in the world today. (Think, Kim Kardashian. I could care less about her, but everyone was blowing up Twitter about her and her ridiculously, shamefully short "marriage.") Walking in reality about the purpose of marriage, expectations, and more is essential to starting off strong! (I talk like I've been married before! hehe. This is just what I've heard. ;)

I don't know what to say other than I am absolutely intrigued and I already know that this book will have some crazy great application points. And conviction points. Gahhh! Good stuff.

That is quite a few books, don't ya think?? That's 826 pages, not including Disciplines of a Godly Woman and Our Covenant God. (I didn't feel like getting up to get those two out of the box in my closet.) Good thing I like to read!

Again, reading the Word is essential and should always be the primary source of gaining wisdom in every area, but specifically biblical womanhood, since that's what I'm trying to grow in! One thing that really made me happy was in the intro to Feminine Appeal (or maybe the review? I don't recall) it said that for the readers who don't have a discipler or other such Titus 2 figure in their life, this book can serve as that mentor! I thought that was cool. There are definitely several examples of biblical womanhood I can think of in my life right off the bat (my Madre, for one!!), but the supplementary teaching will, I think, be very beneficial for me.

So this is probably a good spot to insert that these aren't books that you should only read if you are engaged to be married! Preparation should begin before the engagement season! (Not to say I haven't been preparing, I'm just saying...umm...foot in my mouth?...yeah.) I've already suggested Feminine Appeal to a friend, and I haven't even gotten through the first chapter; it's just that good! VERY convicting, but God's Word being brought to light and seeing how He can make me into a beautiful example of a godly woman definitely stirs me to change! Oh, but as I was saying, I definitely encourage my female readers to check these out! And yes, the male readers too, if you so desire hehe. Plus a couple of them, like Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, Our Covenant God, and When Sinners Say I Do aren't written *just* for women. :-)

To my engaged and married readers:  What kind of prep are you doing or did you do prior to getting married? Books? Sermons? Counseling? I'd love feedback, as I am open to checking out new tools and ideas and passing them on to others!

To my single, dating, and confused readers: (I'm kidding about the confused! ...actually I'm not, I suppose it is quite possible to be confused about your "relationship" status...!) What kind of prep are you doing now, or would you like to do, not just for marriage, but in becoming the type of woman or man that God desires to make you into? Any good books, or groups you get involved with? Anything? I'm all ears! ...er, eyes! You know, since I'm reading, not listening... haha. (Don't mind my corny jokes. You don't have to laugh. I do though.)

Definitely looking forward to seeing what you guys share! And who knows, maybe I'll end up posting up some reviews or lessons I learn from the books as I go; we shall see...!!!

Yes, I'm Still Here!

Just in case anyone was wondering I have not fallen off the face of the earth or disappeared into world wide web oblivion. What's that you say, no one was wondering? Ah, who cares. :)

Life has been bizzaayyy lately, and Lord knows I want to blog more frequently but unfortunately it just keeps getting pushed further down on the priorities list. Can I give you some highlights though? ...I'll give them to you anyway!

This busy woman you see right here is me. Though I totally should've totally  photoshopped my  face in and used Paint (the program...not actual paint!) to color her arms brown. Eh, oh well, you get the picture. P.S., thanks Google Images!

I GOT MY WEDDING DRESS! Today actually. And lemme tell you it is lovely!! I went the non-traditional route and bought my otherwise insanely expensive way outside my budget dress used! Sites like recycledbride and oncewed are ahh-mazing, wish I woulda come up with the idea for those sites!

I've been cooking more! Yes, I could've put that in all caps, but to be honest, it just doesn't come across quite as epically (is that a word??) as something like getting a wedding dress. However, I've made all sorts of tasty things lately, like fried smothered pork chops, deviled eggs (more about that delicious disaster in another post), brownies, cakes, and more! I really do enjoy cooking...when I feel like it lol. I should probably try cooking more things my babe likes to eat since, ya know, we're getting married and all. Eh, he can try new things ;-)

I changed the name of my blog!! Now if you didn't notice this, please don't tell me. Just pretend like you were shocked when all of a sudden you clicked on my page and *GASP* My Life: Perpetua was gone!! I like the new title though, don't you? Maybe you'll like it even better once I explain why I actually changed it. Hehe.

I've got a bug! ...a shopping bug that is! I never used to be too big into shopping for clothes and shoes, though I did like purchasing things now and then. Ya see, I typically preferred to break my budget on something more temporarily satisfying such as say...yummy food! But now, I have a problem. A serious one. Hi, my name is Ashley, and I am addicted to TJMaxx! Lol. I'm serious though! Now I like to buy clothes, shoes, AND food, and my Things Remembered budget is getting squeezed to the Maxx! (yes, pun intended! corny, I know) One look at my purchases though, and I can't say I feel too bad. Girl's gotta look good, right? ...scratch that. Girl's gotta (help) save for the wedding and the future and college and ahhh! Okay, honest truth, it's just a couple cute splurges now and then ;-)

I'M GETTING MARRIED!! Yeah, I know that's not new news, but I think have good reason to be ecstatic! I love my man, and I do not exaggerate when I say I CAN.NOT. WAIT! to be his wife. I'm gonna be a MRS.!! I always thought Mrs. sounded old. Whatever, I'll take this matronly title any day. Well, in 123 days, to be exact... :-)

There is so so much more I want to share! God has really been teaching me so much it's crazy and exciting and painful and refining and ahhhh so much good stuff. I really want to discipline myself to make time for writing more, because I love to do it, I want to blog! Sounds easy peasy, right? Now to actually get 'er done!

Now about that time discipline thing? It's 1:53 a.m., which equals past my bedtime. Which is also about to equal either laying down in bed and watching something on Netflix  or laying down in bed and reading The Broker by John Grisham. Which is better? Well, seeing that the last time I watched Netflix before bed I watched For Colored Girls and went to bed depressed, I'll probably go for the book. Anyone else see the movie? Wait, don't respond to that question! I'll have to post about that movie at a later time, and you can talk then. In the meantime, I need to go to bed! :-)

He Proposed...And I Said YES!

I know, I know I haven't posted in a while and now I'm springing this news on you! Nope, no joke. As of Wednesday, April 6, the Favorite and I are engaged to be married!! Woohoo!!! Sooo exciting! :-)

Let me give you a little background. Since we both live in the DMV area (which is where I was born and raised), the Favorite has met all of my immediate family, but I only met his mom and one of his sisters once (when they came to visit up here!). We've been dating a little over two years, so it was definitely about that time to meet his fam. So we planned a trip to Miami (where he grew up) for a few days this month. The day before the trip (April 6th), we planned to meet to go to a Borders blow-out sale (yay books!) after I finished Bible study on campus. So we met up at the metro, and I must say I was quite happy when I saw him. Looking handsome as usual, I came up behind him and gave him a hug (shout out to Jamil for the cut and shape up!! lol!). Amidst lots of laughs and teasing, we finally found the Zipcar he'd reserved and set out for Borders. (Now something I should insert here that I didn't know until after the fact is that the Borders sale was just an excuse for us to meet up! ...I mean, not like an excuse was really needed hehe, but he did a good job in covering his tracks in making sure nothing seemed out of the ordinary.)

After some book hunting, the Favorite suggested that perhaps we could go to the National Mall to check out the cherry blossoms while they were in bloom, before the Festival ended. A few weeks prior to this day, we had actually been talking about the Cherry Blossom Festival (and how we always miss it!), so viewing some of the lovely blooms under the beautiful DC night lights sounded like a plan to me. (Sidenote: we didn't actually go! He had other plans...)

On the way there, we stopped by Potbelly, and anybody who knows anything about me knows that I love their sandwiches - a Wreck on white, to be specific - and also their chocolate malts! He dropped me off at the entrance, long enough for him to drive around the block while I got my sandwich. As we headed over to see the cherry blossoms, I rambled on about so many things, such as our upcoming trip to Miami and the poor service I had just received at my beloved Potbelly. Needless to say, I was rather aloof about anything that was about to happen!

Just look at that yummy delicious goodness!
Photo courtesy of Google Images

Once we parked on the Mall we simply wandered for a bit, talking, laughing, and reminiscing on the many times in the past that we'd done the exact same thing. (As a matter of fact, he asked me to be in an official courtship/dating relationship with him at the Washington Monument!) We happened upon (actually, no. I found out after the fact that the Favorite had scoped this place out months ago!) this lovely garden that, as many times as I've been on the Mall, I had never seen before. It had a huge cast iron fountain in the center, with several perfectly placed lights to illuminate the unique foliage that surrounded it. We sat on a bench across from the fountain, and the Favorite pulled out a book that we have been going through for a few months now entitled, 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged. This wasn't at all odd or out of place, because we pretty much would take the book whereever we would hang out. Dinner, the movies, the park, anywhere! It was a fun and interesting way to get to know each other even better, and also to prepare us for the marriage that we both knew would inevitably come, though neither of knew (or at least I didn't!) when.

Photo courtesy
of Google Images

In order to keep the book from getting too monotonous, we would each pick a number and ask each other the question associated with that number. That night was no different. One of the questions was about love, and whether or not the love we demonstrated to each other lined up with biblical love. Then, he asked me whether I thought we were ready to be engaged. Of course I said yes :-) But again, this wasn't weird or out of the ordinary because it wasn't like this was the first time we'd talked about engagement and marriage! **disclaimer: details from this point forward get a little blurry because it seemed so surreal!** We went back to the book, and the Favorite began flipping through it, looking for a particular page. He said something along the lines of him running across a question that we hadn't gone over yet. And there it was.....

Question 102.



Ashley Danielle Strickland,

Will you marry me?

I stared at the page, jaw dropped. As I lifted my eyes to look at him he began to kneel, and pulled out a little box with a beautiful ring inside. Somewhere in the midst of this, I said yes!! :-) He slid the ring on my finger then wrapped me in a tight hug. It was all so beautiful! 

I must have said "oh my gosh" at least thirty thousand times that night because I was in such shock. Jeremiah would just sit and gaze at me with a smile, while I had a huge grin plastered across my face, shaking my head saying "oh my gosh" and looking back and forth from the bling on my finger to his content face. A few minutes after he proposed, I said I needed to walk around for bit. As we strolled slowly around the garden, it finally hit me: I AM ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED!!! I squealed and the Favorite spun me around. (I'm smiling to myself just remembering!) He pulled me into a hug, and we stood there like that for a few minutes. I remember saying "Oh my God," and it was at that point that it really began to sink in the depth and significance of this moments. It wasn't just the fact that the Favorite, whom I love, wanted to marry me, it was all the fact that our Sovereign God who sits high in the heavens has been ordering my steps and his for years prior to this moment!!

Just to give you a snapshot (It didn't begin here, but this is where I started putting it all together)... 
--Family financial situation caused me to leave six years of private Christian school education to go to public school. The school opened my eyes to the desperate need in the black community for believers to take a stand for righteousness found in Christ! This prepared me for the next step...
--I didn't get into my college of choice; not because of grades, but because of a paperwork technicality! So I ended up going to Howard, my last choice of school (which I now love!) Howard led to ministry opportunities...
--I got involved with Howard's chapter of the Impact Movement, which allowed me to put feet to my faith and to fulfill my God-given desire to reach out to the African American community on the college campus (and at Howard, pretty much the whole campus is black, hence HBCU hehe). I was actively involved with evangelism, discipleships, campus outreach events, and more! The Favorite and I met through ministry...
--Jeremiah was a junior and President of our Servant Team on campus when I came onto campus as a freshman. We got to know each other through service to the Lord, and initially we weren't really even attracted to each other; we were just brother and sister in Christ! But as time progressed, we both began to realize that the Lord was changing our hearts toward each other...
--February 2009, after talking to my dad for his approval, the Favorite asked to begin an official courtship with me. It hasn't been all flowers and ice cream (weird combo, but you get my drift), but the closer the two of us grew to the Lord, the closer we grew in our relationship with each other. Time progressed and...
--April 6, 2011, two years, two months, and one day after beginning dating, the Favorite once again sought my father's approval, and upon receiving it he asked for my hand in marriage! Yayyyy! And here we are now :-)

So there is a very brief snapshot of how the Lord has ordered things long before I even realized it! Of course there's more (He knew me before I was even in my mother's womb!), but just to give you an idea. We certainly DO serve a risen Savior; I have His testimony in my heart and in my life! (Here's my Happy Resurrection Sunday plug!)

Photo courtesy of Google Images

Well to make to this long exciting story short(er), basically we ended up leaving the Mall and going to my house where I shared the news with my siblings and parents, and took lots of pictures! We stayed for hours and it was just a wonderful time! And then the next day we left for Miami where the Favorite introduced me to his family as his fiancee :-) God is good, eh?

I welcome prayers as God continues to prepare the Favorite and I for the wedding and our lifelong covenant of marriage!