Wednesday, March 26, 2014

labor of love: the birth story of naomi grace {repost}

Originally posted here on May 28, 2013~~happy 1st birthday to my sweet baby girl! :-)

Two months have passed more quickly than I ever imagined it would. One day you're waddling around, back sore, hands wrapped around a belly with skin stretched tight. Next day you're lying back, pushing and panting and pouring forth life as one body becomes two. It all happened so fast.

The contractions were about ten minutes apart, and I lay there in the dark, attempting to grasp at fleeting bits of sleep between each tense moment. My eyes were blurry with exhaustion, and I kept a pen and note card underneath my pillow to remind myself to write down each time I felt the pain. I was far too tired to remember anything. Minutes became hours, and I finally shook my hard-working husband awake.

I was completely indecisive about whether I should go in or not. The day before I was one centimeter dilated, and who is to say whether it would be an hour or a week before my girl was to come? Early labor, false labor, whatever. I ditched all the titles and just called it pain. It started in my sides and seared through my back, and I realized the fetal position was for more than just the unborn. He decided for me, so off to the hospital we went.

The drive there is a blur, though I remember wincing as we went over every bump and pothole and  braked for every light. And when we had to slow down because of the early morning traffic, I squeezed his hand and the handle of the door and both he and I told me that I could make it.

I was weak with exhaustion and exertion by the time I made it to the maternity ward, and the midwife said, no way I would I have the energy to push without having had any sleep in 24 hours. And upon being checked and found to be still at one, I faltered at the thought that it would be a long time coming before anything (or one) would be coming out of me.

A long, long hour, the longest it seems I may have ever experienced, walking around the giant loop of the ward. Around and around, arms wrapped tightly around the husband's waist as he whispered quiet encouragements and he pressed hard against the pain that ripped through my back. Around and around, and we passed someone else, a mom and her daughter, reflecting the glazed look I had in my own eyes as she too walked her way towards a new title in life: Mom. Around and around, pausing for ice chips and bathroom breaks, but who can let loose fluid when all your muscles strain and tighten in rebellion? More pauses and prayers and as the intensity increased so did the volume of those whispered encouragements to speak over the noise of doubt in my mind that I'd really be able to do this.

Finally the hour ended and they asked me to lay back once more, and I writhed and curled as the lines on the screen spiked and leveled out in tune to the contractions coursing through my body. After an hour of becoming not one, but three centimeters dilated, I was sure there was no way I could do it. (I had hoped to be further along.) Lack of sleep overwhelmed my thinking and my thoughts were taken over by every. single. person. who told me that I'd want to do this without medicine....at least until the pain came. Then I'd be in my right mind and would take whatever they would give me, no questions asked. (Didn't you know that in a time of crisis the pessimists completely take over your mind? Watch your company and conversation, that's what I learned.) So the midwife talked, and I rolled and tossed and simply wanted silence, and she told me again if I didn't get some sleep I wouldn't have the energy to push. Tears welled up and and I felt like a failure and the husband stepped in once again and told me I could do this, told the midwife no medication would be necessary except for something to help me sleep.

So slept I did, as much as one can when it feels like a sumo-wrestler has made up his mind to squeeze every last breath out of you every few minutes. An hour passed, another half hour passed, and I was wide awake once again. There'd be no more sleep for hours to come. 

The midwife came, and I laid myself back, and was shocked to hear that I went from one to three to eight. She talked and I listened and squeezed squeezed squeeeeezed on the husband's hand and looked right into his eyes and asked him if I could do this, and he said I absolutely could. And every five minutes I squeezed and I asked and he answered and I believed him. I absolutely could do this. No turning back.

Time in the tub and then time over the toilet and it's incredible how one takes for granted the most basic of bodily functions. The fear of the tube coming in me and draining me came on far stronger than the apprehension of a baby girl coming out of me, but the husband was there and he made me look at him and told me it was okay, it wouldn't be bad, and I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought, but I know I couldn't have done it without him.

It was time. How did I know? I have no idea. But right before that my mom came in, checking on me as she had this whole time, and I love her so much for it, but I had eyes only for my husband, because at that time we were one like never before. She came and she smiled and supported and cared and empathized as only she could, for six times over had she been in my place and she knew what was to come. She was there, then she left--but not far away, just outside the door as I came to find out later on.

Are you ready to push? came the question to me, and I had no idea because I'd never done this before. Forget all my research and my planning about positioning because I was in pain and I wasn't getting out that bed until there was a baby in my arms. The bed tilted and I realized, this is real...this is real! And as the contractions came, I grabbed hold of my husband and the nurse at my side and chin down, eyes squeezed shut, breath held, I pushed and I pushed and I stopped and panted and looked at my husband and he told me I could do this. I could do this. I would do this.

So an hour of this but it really seemed fast, and maybe there was a shift change? I don't know; it's a blur. But a new nurse came in with the first nurse and husband and midwife, and it's amazing how annoying people can hinder your progress. In frustration and pain, I yelled (or screamed?) for the very first time and the midwife told me that it had be my most unproductive push yet. But one can't explain the searing pain as you stretch and you tear and open yourself up for someone else, so literally! I determined in myself (and with the help of the husband) that if I would hurt, I would hurt with purpose (productive pain), so there would be no more yelling for the rest of the delivery.

The mirror came out, much to my dismay, and the glass reflected a red messy blur, and thank God I didn't have my glasses. No matter how much they were amazed at how well I was doing for a first-timer, I needed no convincing that my baby was coming out. And speaking of God? oh, how wrong of me it would be to not place Him at His proper place and give credit where it's due because there's no way in the world I would have made it through without Him!

GOD gave me that man, my wonderful husband, the amazing one without whom I would not have been able to focus on my breathing and relaxation between and during every push. God gave me someone who's word I could trust when he told me that I could do it, and I'm doing amazing, and he was so proud of me. God gave me this man that I have come to love in a whole new way because of the labor and delivery process. So I give God his credit. And oh, for the Word! God's glorious Word! Scripture memory is so important, and the verse that echoed through my mind on that day was the same one that helped me during emotionally troubling times of high school. Incredible how, years later, as I experienced both internal and external pain it came to mind once more: this light affliction...is but for a moment...worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory...things that are not seen...are eternal. The verse was fragmented and out of context and I held onto it for dear life, quite literally! How light the affliction was in light of what was to come, the birth of my sweet baby girl.

And so the time came, and I vaguely remember it, almost an out-of-body experience of that final request to Push! and I did, with all my might! And I felt it--I can't even explain to you what it felt like... (When two become one, and one becomes two-in-one, and that two-in-one becomes two separate beings!?...it's a miracle, really.) Then came that indescribable feeling of life coming out, and of being so confused when she said, Stop! Stop pushing! Breathe! and I had no idea why til I felt and I saw, that's my girl! MY GIRL!! And the cord was clamped and her daddy cut it and she was placed in my arms, and it's all so surreal, but as I saw her wide eyes, open mouth, curly hair, body small and slick, I knew it was real. So real. I was (I am) a mom.

The rest of the story I'll (maybe) tell another day, about the postpartum recovery and such. (Let me just say, the labor and delivery was a breeze in comparison.) But who cares about all that? Because all that really matters is that I gave birth to a precious little girl named Naomi Grace who I have the blessing of mothering which both excites and scares me. I don't have to do it alone though. She has an awesome daddy who loves her to pieces, another awesome Daddy who died for her and we're praying for her to one day be in a relationship with, and Nanas and Papas and Aunties and Uncles and Godparents and just a whole big huge support system with a vested interest in her growth and development, physically, spiritually and beyond.

I love this new life as a mom. I'm tired and showers are sometimes optional and when you're your child's sole source of nutrition for months on end, it can be quite draining (literally...). But it's worth it, and I love her and would go through this process again for sure. May I never forget the miracle of new life. 

 

happy birthday, naomi grace!!

She's one! She's one!! I am so excited about my sweet girl's first birthday! I just may use an exclamation mark after every sentence!! (just kidding; I'll stop now....!!!!) It is crazy-hard to believe that it was A YEAR AGO that I was in the hospital, laboring and preparing to deliver our first child. Like...what!?!? The Lord has brought her and our entire family SO FAR. I struggled to enjoy those first few weeks to the full extent I wanted to since my postpartum recovery was so rough. It took a huge emotional and physical toll on me, and even though my stomach still turns a little when I think about the hardest times I went through, I'm thankful to have gone through it because it definitely strengthened my reliance on the Lord and grew my relationship with the hubs (who is an amazing husband, and even more amazing father to Naomi!). Plus I got a precious, beautiful, smart, silly, fun-loving baby girl out of it! :-)

There have been so many happy milestones and memories. I remember being in so much pain one day and then she smiled for the very first time, and her smile LIT. UP. MY. WORLD. From lifting up her head to pushing up on her arms during tummy time, nothing was too small to celebrate. I remember how my mind was blown when I realized that she had learned how to scoot around places, and how I bawled my eyes out when she was cutting her first tooth! And jumping ahead to when she took her first steps...I was so in shock, Jeremiah had to remind me to pull out the camera! Oh man, what a joy she is.

Then there are those times that at the time we were like, wahhhhhhh, whyyyyyyyy. But now we look back and (kinda) chuckle. Like the first time we gave her a bath and she pooped THREE. SEPARATE. TIMES. Brand new to the game and she was already making us learn quick. Boy, were we a mess that day!! Poop. Everywhere. There are so many other diaper blowouts I can think of, but I'll spare you. Then of course the sleepless nights. Sometimes I was okay because I enjoyed snuggling with my sweet girl, but other times (most of the time) it was more like begging her to sleep. Now she's got a bedtime and sleeps through the night, and we certainly don't take that for granted. Ya know, at the moment I'm actually struggling to come up with any other not-so-great times. I know they happened, but all the amazing, happy stuff so outweighs it, those moments aren't even at the forefront of my mind.

I guess I said all that to say this: I love my sweet girl, Naomi Grace. She has brought me so. much. joy. Words don't even describe how much!! The Lord is teaching me so much through being her mom, and I am just BLESSED that he entrusted me and the hubs with her. I am really looking forward to celebrating her birthday this weekend with family and friends!! 

 

Friday, March 14, 2014

fearless friday: FAIL

One reason I don't start things sometimes is because I fear that I'll end up failing at it once I get going with it. I was tempted to not even begin fearless fridays, because even though my intent was to do it consistently on Fridays of each week, I had this nagging feeling fear that it wouldn't end up happening that way. Nonetheless, I started the posts, and as I suspected, I have found it difficult to maintain my weekly posting on Fridays.

I have legitimate excuses for one or two Fridays. I had a terrible migraine one week, and the other week I was sick (I think). I clearly remember simply being unmotivated to write on another Friday. Actually, I can't say I'm that motivated right now. My daughter is taking a nap, and Special Agent Oso is on (or is it Octonauts? Oh Disney Junior how you suck me in...) I could really just veg and watch it, or take a nap myself. Or clean. There's always cleaning to do. Or...something...anything. But I am determined that not another Friday will pass without me writing SOMETHING. I hate the idea of people writing me off because I don't write consistently, but I figure writing inconsistently is a good start to writing consistently. I mean, if I'm not writing at all, I'm making ZERO progress. At least now I'm making some. I'm working on it, ya'll. I love to write, but the hardest part of a writer's life is WRITING. Go figure.

So here I am. Just...here... Writing... This Friday isn't a failure at all. I'm sticking to what I said I'd do, so that for me is a success. Baby steps. Baby steps.

Done anything fearless lately?


Saturday, February 15, 2014

fearless friday was not forgotten!

Unfortunately there was no post yesterday because I have been laptop charger-less all week, and quite frankly there's no way I'm typing out all I had planned to write on my phone or on my husband's tablet. I like a good ol' fashioned keyboard. Or pen and paper, but that doesn't help me get it online.

So since there's no fearless post I shall share about my Valentine's Day. :) The hubs got off work early, which was a gift all by itself because it is hard for him to get off early certain days, Friday being one of them. I was able to do a bit of shopping, and the best part about that is almost everything was on sale!  Woot woot! Jeremiah didn't tell me where we were going, just to dress up. I was SUPER excited about that because I basically never have an occasion to wear dressy clothes, and even more rarely do I get to wear a non-nursing friendly outfit. So I had lots of fun putting on a little makeup and wearing a nice dress that I knew the hubs liked but had yet to see on me :-) He ended up taking us to Fogo de Chao, YUMMM. Needless to say I am still stuffed. If you aren't familiar with the restaurant, it is a Brazilian Steakhouse where they provide several different cuts of meat in rapid succession until you tell them to stop. I'll post pictures of the cards you use there below.

Anyways so that was alot of fun. Naomi's godmom watched her the evening, so we had a few hours to ourselves which is pretty rare and such a blessing.  We are definitely getting old though because we talked about going up to Howard for old times sake or going to a jazz club but we were full and tired and ready to head back home. Ha! The things parenthood does to ya. Just a couple years ago, our night would just be getting started around ten pm!

To be honest I really used to look down on Valentine's Day because it seemed so shallow. I remember so many girls in middle school and high school desperate for a boo thang they could claim as their own, even if their "relationship" began two days before V-Day and ended two days after. I never wanted to get caught up in such empty displays of so-called love so I ended up shunning it altogether.  Now I look at it more from the perspective of having the opportunity to show the people you truly love that you love them, whether it's family,  friends, or someone you're in a relationship with. The day is also a great time to make those who may otherwise feel unloved feel special. I was one of the ones like, Why in the world do we need a day set aside to show people we love them when we should be doing it anyway!? Oh how I chuckle at my younger immature self lol. Now I know that there's nothing wrong with showing a little extra love.

I hope each of you are having a wonderful weekend celebrating love! Later today my love and I will be going to a couple's Valentine's event that our church and another church are co-hosting. It will be our very first one since getting married :-) How do you celebrate Love Day? Show someone you love a littlw extra love today, and go be fearless and show someone who may feel unloved (or maybe that you think doesn't even deserve to feel extra love) some Christ like love today (and every day!).

This is my commandment that ye love one another as I have loved you.
John 15:12

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God, for God is love.
1 John 4:7-8

It was so nice to get dressed up!
If the green side is face up, it means keep the meats coming! Red side means you need a food break. I actually had green side up a good portion of the time!
Hubs said he was too full to smile. He's still adorable. :-)
We received this before we left the restaurant. How cool!
Me and my boo :-)
'Tis I.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Fearless is my new normal: an introduction to fearless fridays

These past ten (TEN!!) months of being a mom to Naomi have been full of exciting moments, but I have to say the times that I enjoy most are watching her and the hubs have daddy-daughter time. It used to freak me out seeing Jeremiah flipping her over, tossing her in the air and such, but now that I see how much Naomi enjoys it and looks forward to it, I just sit back and let it happen.
Super-baby Naomi!! Her daddy makes her flyyyyy!!!
It's funny that as I watch Naomi playing around with her daddy, the only person in the room who's on edge is me. Of course Jeremiah is being careful, but not to the extent of padding the walls and floor (which kinda sounds like a good idea as I type it out...). Naomi, the one who's being tossed around, is the least fazed of all of us. She doesn't really know to do anything but trust us.

Oh that I would have the same kind of trust with my Heavenly Father! He has given me no reason to distrust Him, and He has a track record of perfection. He is to be trusted above all others.

Yet more often than not my actions are more characterized by comfort and security than by fearlessness and faith. I question the things the Lord calls me to do and quite frequently end up not doing them at all because I've talked myself out of it. And when I do obey, I love to have a safety net. Just in case this obedience thing, this leap of faith doesn't work out, I better have a back up plan. I like to have contingency plans for my contingency plans. I love the idea of being fearless, but taking actual, fearless action makes me, well, fearful. 

This year...you know what? Scratch that. This week will be different. I've found that when I stretch my goals out over the course of a year without setting specific deadlines for them that the goals often go unmet. And so begins fearless fridays. Every Friday I will post on a fearless act the Lord has led me to do. It could be big. It could be small. It could be something for someone else, or it could be something in my personal life. No matter what the acts are, they'll all be great because I'll be doing them in obedience to my Father, Who enables us to act in spite of our fears, Who enables us to overcome our fears.

I've always believed that God is far too big and great for me to live a basic, ordinary life. I am taking Him at His Word that if I obey Him I will see extraordinary things done in His name that point others to His Son Jesus Christ and give Him all the glory. I'm not looking for accolades about what I do. I'm just looking to obey and thus be blown away by the amazingness (I made that up!) of God in my every day life.

Care to join me in being fearless? In the comment section each week, share a link to a fearless friday post in your blog. Let's live fearless lives for the Lord together!

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Move by Flame


Thursday, January 16, 2014

New year, same laundry

I think by this point it's officially too late to be saying Happy New Year. I mean, the year hasn't been new for two weeks now. New year, old news, right?

Naomi partied it up til 1am without a problem at a church event. I think she knew that if she was getting the chance to stay up, she'd better take advantage of it. And did she ever!! She was wide awake, but you better believe when we laid her down in bed around 1:30 am, she was knocked. out. Lil' girl wore herself (and her parents!) out!
Our tired little family post-church New Year's bash.
To be honest, it didn't even feel much like a new year to me. I think when you still have to change diapers and feed and console a crying baby the day feels pretty, well, ordinary. Plus there were loads of laundry that had built up into monstrous heaps that threatened to eat the laundry room, kitchen and dining room alive. Oh, and me, too. 2014 greeted me with 2013's dirty laundry.

With it came the attitude.


Seriously, who is in a good mood when they're doing laundry!? Well...me, to be honest. I don't usually mind sorting, and washing and drying. When it all needs to be put away, that's another story. On THIS day though, New Year's Day, I wasn't happy about the laundry. For some reason I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and wasn't altogether pleased that this motherhood thing doesn't afford you a day off. So off I went to do my daily thing of taking care of my sweet girl and the household. I grumbled grumbled grumbled inside myself about how just when the laundry seems to be done, it needs to be done all over again! *sigh* Such is life. And there's just nothing like starting out the new year with stuff from the previous year! Granted, it was just the day before, but c'mon, can't it just disappear??

It isn't just physical things like laundry that follow us into new days and months and years. Things like attitudes and bad habits have a way of creeping right along with us. Sometimes we know it; other times it has become so ingrained in us that we don't even realize the negative changes that have become a part of who we are. We go about our days and then it hits us out of nowhere--since when have I been doing/saying that? How long have I been neglecting this? When did that end up at the bottom of my priority list? Just like the new year sometimes seems to hit us out of nowhere, so does the realization that we've been carrying things along with us, bad thins, negative things for a while now and we wonder how in the world we ended up in this place. We then (well let me not say "we"--I know I can do it) I can end up getting frustrated with myself. I mope, and then that grumbling starts again, and I wonder how in the world am I supposed to persevere to the end when I can hardly keep up with everything in a year?

I think we tend to notice these things at the New Year more because it seems to be a bigger milestone than a day or month. After all, we celebrate birthdays after a year, right? (Though it would be pretty fantastic to have a birthday party every year. Gifts galore! Or, if you're a fatty, I mean, foodie like me, that might mean going-out-to-eat galore.) I feel like I write the same thing every year, but that's because every year the same is true. His mercies are new. And His mercies aren't simply new every YEAR, praise Jesus. they are new every DAY. Every day we are given is a milestone. Every day is a new beginning. Every day is another opportunity the Lord has given to rely on His grace more than we did the day before. And if I really break it down, it's really moment-by-moment grace and mercy.

Something else I can often forget is this: It is God who works within you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. We're only two weeks into the year, but I can't begin to count the amount of times the Holy Spirit has gently reminded me of this Scripture. He is doing the work in me, not me in myself! I also need to remember that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ! Why do I weigh myself down with self-reliance? Why do I depend on myself to please God? I need God to please God. I overwhelm myself at the beginning of the year with all these things I must do to serve and honor God with my life, and at the end of the year I overwhelm myself with self-condemnation for not completing everything I burdened myself with. I say it again: I need God to please God. My bestest recently reminded me of passage in 1 Thessalonians 5 that is so often quoted:


So many commands!! If you're like me, you may have recited these over and over in your head, beating yourself up for not being able to follow these clearly written directions. If you go to verse 24, you can see that we are missing a big part ALL of what we need in order to be able to do these things in our lives!


I know I just wrote it above, but I think this needs to be re-stated with some emphasis. HE who calls you is FAITHFUL; HE will surely DO IT! This is quoted much less often yet it is pivotal in our understanding of how we do these things God commands us. We allow Him to do the work in us...through us!! In and of ourselves we are incapable of being who God created us to be. I can't be the wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend that I'm called to be when I'm doing it on my own! I can have all the good intentions in the world and fail. And fail. And fail. Remember how I was talking about the laundry? It can be just like that. I try and try to keep up with the wash. And it just. keeps. building. up.

And ya know what? The laundry will build up at times. Sometimes we'll find it piling up more often than not. Sometimes we will turn around and find that we've wallowed and steeped ourselves into negative, damaging habits that have hurt our relationship with Christ, with our spouse, with our children, family members, friends. The amazing and grace-filled thing is this: At the time we notice that laundry, that mess, that dirt? At the time the Holy Spirit, through His Word, opens our clouded eyes to see the baggage we've been hanging onto that we're meant to let go of? That is the same time He extends His mercy, His grace, His forgiveness. Please don't forget, friends, His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

My goal this year is to redeem--make the best use of--the time I'm given. Life is so short! So I don't want to waste time dwelling on why I did so much wrong yesterday. As the Lord shows me, I want to conform to His will and move forward. Instead of wasting precious moments in self-condemnation, I want to dwell in His daily sufficient grace.

New mercies each day. New mercies each year.


Monday, December 23, 2013

All I Want for Christmas is a Lint-Free Fro: My Unconventional Christmas List



I recently saw a post going around Facebook of a 10-month-old's Christmas list. It was surprisingly accurate, and even though Naomi isn't 10 months yet, nearly everything on the list applied to her. I figured I might as well make a list for myself. Moms want stuff for Christmas too, ya know!

1. A lint-free fro.
My fabulous fro. Don't look too closely.
I've never been much of a hair enthusiast. I typically do the bare minimum I must do to not be bald and that involves washing, conditioning, and LOC method (liquid. oil. cream.) Thank GOD for my natural Af-Am hair that doesn't have to be washed daily; otherwise I would most definitely be on the road to baldness. So I do this stuff to my hair, feel good about having done it, then end up rolling around on the carpet playing with Naomi. I used to love my big poof and always ensured before leaving the house it had no specks of white throughout lest it be mistaken for dun-dun-dun-dunnnn... dandruff. Ever since becoming a mom, it's a good day if I've picked my fro out, let alone checked it for lint. When I go somewhere with friends or family, someone inevitably comes up behind me saying, "Hold still!" and begins picking little pieces of carpet out of my hair. Sigh. I want my lint-free fro back!

2. To shave

Now I know it's winter time, and most people, including myself, probably consider this winter break from shaving. (Unless of course, your first day of winter it's in the 70s like it was here in the metro DC area...) There comes a point when bear legs are simply unacceptable though. I'm happy to say that I can now cross this off my list because I just shaved for the first time in....I'm not telling how long. Usually I'm rushing through my showers, hoping to get through them before Naomi notices I'm gone. There have been times I've planned to shave and the time won't be on my side or Naomi isn't on my side haha. And I usually have to choose between shaving or washing my hair. Never both. Hair always wins. Oh well. And speaking of showers...

3. To shower until the hot water runs out
It used to be this way.
Well, this actually isn't too hard to do since our hot water heater seems to empty pretty fast. But I remember the days pre-baby when the hubs would ask me after I got out the shower if I saved any hot water for him. That's because I'd be there that long. I can't remember the last time he asked me that question because I pretty much always have to rush. It's hard to enjoy a shower when your baby is in the room next door screaming like the crib you've temporarily placed her in is a prison. I long for the times when I could get in the shower and spend the majority of the time just standing there enjoying the hot water...then rushing to clean myself before it cools down lol. A little something like that comic.

4. A day without nursing

Yeah, yeah it's mostly my fault that this isn't possible. The fact is, as much as I want to be done breastfeeding, I don't want it bad enough to go through the struggle of weaning Naomi, and she certainly isn't ready to stop. But oh, to wear a dress or shirt that I don't have to worry about being able to feed her in, to get rid of the ugly nursing bras, and not constantly feel...used... (okay, that last one was a bit dramatic). Oh well. Such is life motherhood. A girl can dream.

5. To wear a real purse.
My luggage. AKA purse. AKA diaper bag. Bulky, but I actually love it since it doesn't scream I AM A MOM AND MY BABY HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE. Pink and purple and flowers and polka dots may be on everything else, but I draw the line at the bag!
Yeah, I know the days will come when I won't always have to lug around luggage a diaper bag. For the time being, I pack in case of 2 emergencies, not one, because you better believe that the day I decide that there is no need to bring all this stuff because I never use it is the day that the worst diaper blowout in the history of blowouts is bound to happen. I was so surprised the other day when I was cleaning my room and came across a pile of purses I used to use. I used to coordinate with what I would wear!! Now that seems so frivolous haha. But I wouldn't mind doing that again. I used to think my purses were big and that I carried too much stuff in them. With a baby now I know that that was complete nonsense.

6. An un-timed date with the Husband

The other day Jeremiah and I were chuckling about how we sometimes used to just be getting started with our dates around 9-10pm at night. We would hop up and do stuff and come back home in the wee hours of the morning. Now we know that the max an outing can be without Naomi is a maximum of 3-4 hours. A movie, basically. I can't tell you the amount of times that we have fed Naomi and literally ran out the door. (Not many actually lol.) It's a pretty funny sight though. Yay for pumping but with my picky child, she wants ME. Yay. That's motherhood though, and I've counted the cost. Even still, I think that in spite of my hyper-protective tendencies I will soon embrace the idea of an overnight babysitter.

7. My memory back
Something like that.
Mom-brain is real, ya'll.  I used to pride myself on my fantastic memory, but now if it isn't written down, it either didn't happen or it isn't happening. Take this blog post for example. I had already come up with what I wanted my Christmas list to be, but I humorously relied on my memory to get it all down. Haha! Oh well. It's okay. At least my memory is still better than my husband's *wink*wink* ;-)

Well I guess I'm done guys, since I can't remember anything else. In all seriousness though, spending Christmas with my family is all I need!

What unconventional things are on your list this year?