The Month To Surpass All Months

It's here! It's here! We are officially in February and I am too hype, because that means my wedding is in just over three weeks! Ahhhh! Excitement, man. Excitement. So many awesome things are happening this month, I just have to share...

February 4

Bridal Shower! My maid of honor, who's been my best friend since like...forever!, has been totally enjoying herself by not sharing ANY details with me about the shower. Grrr! Oh well, I know I'll enjoy it :-)

~~~~

February 5

 The Favorite and I's 3 year dating anniversary! (Oh, you thought I was gonna say the Super Bowl?! I didn't even know it was on the fifth til my brother told me a couple days ago. Shows how much football I watch!)

~~~~

February 14

 Valentine's Day! Not even one my favorite "holidays," but I'm always down for chocolate :-)

~~~~

February 18

 Spiritual Birthday! On this day of 2001, Jesus drew me to Himself, opening my spiritually blind eyes to see my need of Him and His grace and mercy! No longer am I among the walking dead, but the alive in Christ!

~~~~

February 25

WEDDING DAY! "And the two shall become one..." It's so surreal; I'm marrying the love of my life! My first boyfriend is also my last, and I have the honor of being his wife! (And he has the honor of being my husband! hehe) Definitely pray for us, that we'll truly have a wedding & marriage that honors the Lord!

~~~~

February 26

 Cruise!! DEFINITELY looking forward to the honeymoon, ya'll. Nobody better try to contact us! ;-)

Do you see how much LOVE is in each of these days!? From the beginning of the month with people showering love and gifts on me and the Favorite, to the beautiful union we'll have before family and friends, love, GOD's love is so real and present. And with that in mind, I already know that there are probably more things that are going to arise during this month, some great, some not so great, but in the midst of it all, whether good or bad, I choose to rejoice, and I choose to count my blessings because they are MANY and my great God has been doing, is doing, and will continue to do a great work! 

Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you 

will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ.

~Philippians 1:6

...And Who Am I To Think Otherwise?

In 59 days I will be a "Mrs." ...Incredible, right? I am so very excited; time has flown by faster than I ever could have imagined!! If 200 days went by this quickly, then I can only imagine how fast the last 59 will go, ahhh!

Anyways, there is a LOT of stuff that needs to get done still. Wedding related, life related, etc., etc. And I know myself. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, because I'll sit there, and I'll stare at the circumstances, and you know what happens? The longer I look at it, the bigger it gets, the bigger it seems, and then I begin to feel crushed and perplexed and frustrated... My emotions go haywire and I start to freak out and I think I just can't handle it and I wonder where in the world is God working in this? and why me? and why can't it just go easy for my like in such in such person's life? and on and on and on and on and ON go the questions and complaints. Then I hole myself away and bawl my eyes out and sleep and sleep, and bawl my eyes out again, then I vent to the Favorite and then, THEN I do what I should've done at the very beginning--opened up my Word, poured out my heart to Him in prayer, and let those burdens go from my heart and shoulders to His.

It's really quite unfortunate that this is the case, but by no means do I desire to purport myself to you guys like some kind of perfect Christian who isn't in need of some serious growth. Because clearly, I'm not! But amazing things happen when you really confront the truth about yourself instead of just ignoring flaws like they'll just disappear over time. (Trust me, they just magnify!)

Now, to switch gears for a sec...James is such an awesome book, man! I love it. As I'm writing, I just opened up my Bible to chapter 1, and there are like fifty billion sticky notes with stuff written on them from that chapter alone! Not to mention most of the verses in the chapter are either circled or underlined. All that to say that this is a well read chapter in my Bible. Even still, I think this is a good time to go over it again!

Now I'm no Bible scholar, but as I read there are three main things I can pull out that James predominantly talks about in chapter one: Trials (v.1-12), Temptations (v. 13-18), and Adherence to the Word (v. 19-27). ALL of it is good and convicting and essential to the life of a believer, but I'm gonna focus on that last one, adherence to the Word. You know, for a while I was in complete denial that I'm the type of person that lets life circumstances affect my emotions and relationships. I think I got really good at hiding it from myself by saying things like, "Oh, I just learn to adapt quickly," or "I'll be okay," or "Things could be worse." Now all of these things are actually true, but deep down I was using those cliches to smother this fear and doubt that this time the change would be too much for me, and I won't be able to handle it, that things could only get worse from here.

My relationship with the Favorite has played an integral role in me admitting that what I believed about myself was not actually the case. (I mean, it's always easier to think better of ourselves than we actually are, right?) Well this is a rough comparison, I'm gonna reference the section where James talks about how we are not merely to be hearers of the Word, but also doers.

Anyone who listens to the Word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

Now that was me. Just as though I were looking in the mirror to see if there were any flaws in need of correction, I was confronted with the fact that I really don't trust God with situations (I'd just allow them to overwhelm me until I reached some sort of breaking point). But upon realizing there was something wrong, you know what I would do? Walk away, and completely forget that there was ever anything wrong and in need of fixing. Is the problem gone because I ignored it? Absolutely not! If anything, I am worse off than before because those sins and doubts and lack of trust begin to fester and grow and swell into something uglier and even more self-destructive than before.

Thank God the scripture doesn't end there! I don't have to muddle through my life with false truths about myself and a lack of faith in God. James continues by saying,

But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it--he will be blessed in what he does.

There is so much freedom in allowing God to show us what's real about us and to transform us from the inside out!! I stopped letting what God was saying to me go in one ear and out the other; I stopped and listened, then I acted upon what He was saying.

So now, back to all the gazillion things I need to get done between now and the wedding day. Why sit here stressing my little mind about what could be and what might happen and so on? If it doesn't fall under the parameters of what God says in Philippians 4:8 (thinking on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, praiseworthy), then I need to cast down those imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God and bring into captivity every thought unto the obedience of Christ! As I actively DO what God is telling me in order to have better responses to life's situations, the unhealthy and, dare I say, sinful habits and negative responses I've grown accustomed to begin to take a backseat go in the trunk go out the window!

There are a ton of unanswered questions in regard to how some pretty important details are going to work out for the wedding and life after the wedding. However, I know my God, and He is the first and the last, the beginning and the end, and before I was even formed in my mother's womb He knew me and knew I'd be getting married in February 2012 and that I'd face situations and struggles outside of my control. This same God who knows all this also has ALL power to work all these things together for my good! That's what He said He'd do, so who am I to think otherwise?

BlogLight!: Amped Soul

I must say, I totally slacked on doing BlogLights in 2010, so this is me trying again!

I have an awesome brother in Christ named Jamil that I met on Howard's campus my freshman year through Impact. Now can I be honest with you guys? At first I thought he (and all the other Impact people for that matter) was.... strange. Yeah. And you know why? It's because I had never before seen Christ's love and consideration for people exhibited in such a normal, everyday way among people my own age! But now as I sit here, I definitely think it's an awesome thing to be thought strange simply because of Christ in us!

Let me not go off on a tangent here; the real purpose of me sharing this is to let you know about the blog Jamil has going! It's called Amped Soul (if you didn't figure it out from the title). The Lord has gifted Jamil with the ability to share things that God has laid on his heart as well as to share his life experiences in a way that really connects with the reader! I must say, I've enjoyed pretty much everything I've read of his, from poetry to prose. It's an awesome thing when someone has a natural talent, combines it with the supernatural power of God, and reaches people and touches hearts in a way that can only be attributed to our Maker!

One thing I've enjoyed about Jamil's poetry is that he always (or at least, as much as I can remember) gives Biblical reference to the things that he's saying. It can be so easy for us to attach our human wisdom to the things that we write, or give justification for the things that we do through our finite reasoning. (This makes me think of 1 Corinthians 1:18-2:5, when Paul reminds us about how even the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and because of this our words and actions should rest solely on the Spirit's power!) This guy definitely gives the Lord His due (which is alot...er, all?) in his writing.

The other thing I appreciate is that when ever I go to Amped Soul, it's a dose of reality. It's not a picture of perfection, with him going through life with things right on track with his five year plan and him serving God and never falling and blah blah blah blah blah. (By the way, if you ever do meet someone who's got it all together like that, do introduce me!! I'd love to hear how they do it. Lol!) There's a very real element of reality and humanity in Jamil's writing, which allows whoever's reading to not feel like their talking to (er, reading from) a zombie ...a perfect zombie, that is. It's really encouraging, edifying, and humorous at times, too!

With all that being said, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and support our brother in Christ at Amped Soul! His latest post is called Whose Plans???, and here's one of his poetry pieces called Foolishly Stupid. If you scroll through his blog, you'll even see a couple posts where Jamil performs his poem for you!

I hope this is a blessing to you guys! Are there any blogs in particular that stand out to you as always being an encouragement, or a place to get a good laugh? I love to check out new sites. :-)

A Fish Named Grace

I mentioned briefly in my last post that a couple of my siblings and friends and I went to a conference in Atlanta, Georgia from December 27st to the 31st. It was truly amazing! I first went to one of Impact's National conferences by myself in 2008, and it was INCREDIBLE. To be able to share it with friends and family this time was truly awesome.

Believers worshiping the Lord at the Impact 2010 conference.
Photo courtesy of the Impact Movement.

The mission of the Impact Movement is to reach the college campus, community, and world by producing leaders of African descent who are spiritually focused, financially responsible, and morally fit. At first, I struggled with being part of a group whose focus was on one main ethnic group, so I really sought the Lord regarding my involvement. As I saw the moral devastation of the black community, the doctrinal errancies being perpetuated in many of our churches, as well as the desperate need for leaders in my age range who are bold about our Lord, there was no way I could pass up the opportunity to get plugged into this group! This is the same group I went to South Africa with in 2010, by the way. I have grown leaps and bounds in my walk with the Lord since I first became involved with Impact my freshman year of college in 2007, and I am still involved with Impact on my campus now, even though I haven't been in school!

Priscilla Shirer
Photo courtesy of the Impact Movement

So yeah, there's my short little blurb about Impact, and they have conferences every other year (except this time they're having one at the end of the year, woohoo!). At this particular conference, a woman (no, she's not a pastor or anything like that, f.y.i. lol) named Priscilla Shirer spoke about the story of Jonah. Often when we think of the big fish that ate..er, swallowed? Jonah, we think of it as a punishment. However, as Priscilla explained, this fish was actually evidence of God's grace toward him! Here's the background: You've got this guy Jonah, who is commanded by God to go to Ninevah. The guy balks, and begins to high tail it to the furthest island known to man at the time. While on the boat, God sends this crazy big storm, and Jonah agrees to have the crew throw him overboard. Now this could easily be where Jonah's story ends. He wouldn't be playing man overboard if he had simply obeyed God, right? Seems like death by drowning would have been the natural consequence.

But then this fish come around and swallows Jonah whole. GULP, just like that. (At least I'm assuming, cuz I'm assuming if chomping were involved, Jonah would've been pretty injured!) And after a good little bit in the fish's belly, Jonah was coughed up/vomited/deposited (take your pick!) on dry land. Now this is amazing to me, just how God can show His grace in any NUMBER of ways, including a FISH! But to be honest, I haven't yet even told you the part that really gets me about this story! So let's rewind just a little to the beginning of the story...

**insert VCR rewinding noise here**

God gave Jonah orders, right? He commanded Jonah to go to Ninevah, and Jonah disobeyed. Let's fast-forward again... After the fish deposited Jonah on dry land, God's word, His command had not changed. He still wanted Jonah to go to Ninevah!

Photo courtesy of Google images

Now at this point, you either get where I'm going, or you're scratching your head and really want me to get to the point. But hang with me guys! So many times in our lives, especially around this time with it being the beginning of a new year and all, we set so many goals. We want to change this about our lives, lose weight, read our Bible more, pray more, evangelize more, figure out what God's will is for us. That's not necessarily bad, but what many (including myself, until recently) of us don't realize, is that we can be so busy trying to figure out our future and determine what new thing God wants to do in our lives when we never really allowed Him to accomplish the work in us that He was trying to do last year! Like Jonah, we run away, experience grace, but are still faced with the choice to obey the exact same command God gave us before we ran away.

So here's the ultimate question, guys. What's your year going to look like? Here's what mine is going to be like, starting from this point forward. I am fully engaging in each season of life, not rushing into the next. I am going to walk with the Lord daily, concerning myself with obeying the Spirit moment by moment. I'm going to obey the things the Lord told me to do last year that I simply refrained from doing out of fear or uncertainty or some other un-legitimate reason to disobey.

I've gotta tell you guys, I definitely have a fire right now, a huge passion to be used by the Lord in a greater capacity than ever before. Even today some situations have risen that I know God has a hand in! Remember Vibia Perpetua in my very first post? Well I definitely believe living life in this way is honoring to the Lord and is a life perpetua: abiding, lasting, and fulfilling!  I will definitely keep you posted on all that transpires throughout this time!

Are there any things in your life that God, through His Word and/or Holy Spirit has prompted you to do that you put off or ran away from completely? If so, what are those things and are you seeking to change that in 2011?

Looking forward to hearing from you guys!

Ten Years and Counting!

Time flies so quickly, and it can be so hard to realize it until it's passed. This past weekend I had the privilege of celebrating my church's 10th anniversary, woohoo! God has done some awesome things through the ministry at Trinity Baptist Church. For one, this is the church where I accepted Christ as my Lord and personal Savior! (PRAISE HIIIM!!) Pastor Eddie (who also happens to be my best friend's dad-pretty cool, eh?) preached a sermon about heaven and hell, and I realized that even though I had a complete head knowledge of salvation, I had never truly accepted Jesus Christ into my heart, making me unsure of my eternal destination. So on February 18th, 2001, I entered into the family of God, and it was the best decision I ever made. Ever. :) So yeah, it's been awesome growing up in one place, from junior high, to the teen class, to the A-Z Discipleship class, until I left for college! And even then whenever I'd come home I knew I could find a home at Trinity. There's definitely an awesome body of believers there.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to capture all of the photos I wanted of the church's anniversary service, but at least I took some! The day before the Sunday service there was a really nice dinner for all the members and some guests, so this is where the pictures are from.

The tables were so nicely decorated!

I was pretty much in love with the drink fountains. :) 

These were the centerpieces for the tables. The glass containers were filled with mustard seeds, representative of the faith we've had in God to make it this far as a church to further God's kingdom! Very creative and symbolic.

I pretty much loves the rose balloons.

A few of the teens.

The parents! :) 

Blurry, but the praise team is singing.

My pastor is on the left, Pastor Reynolds is in the center. (He's the pastor of Trinity's sending church!) Pastor Davis is on the end. He preached on anniversary Sunday.

Me and Pastor Eddie!

Whether I'm at Trinity or somewhere else in the future, I know that the more Trinity grows together in the Lord, the more it will be able to do for God's kingdom! She may not be a huge church, but she's impacting the community with the gospel of Christ in a great way, and because of that God is glorified. Looking forward to seeing all that happens in the next ten years! ;-)

When The Words Won't Come...

I'm sitting there and the thoughts are in my head but they just. won't. come. out.
I want verbalize them but every time I open up my mouth
out
comes a random statement about
the latest book I've read
or upcoming summer plans.
(Where is the fire?) I watch eyes light up about family, friends,
temporal stuff that has no bearing on the life to come.
I think,
I think,
I think,
but I speak not a word.
Finally His name slips out my lips. Once. Twice.
(Wince.)
Why? His name has that much power!
I know it as I say it,
and they know it as they hear it,
and yet I don't. say. more.
Mind drifts away from the conversation to scriptures read just that morning:
For I am not ashamed... living sacrifice... count as loss... 
deny oneself...
power of God unto salvation...
(So is to not speak of salvation me having the power to sentence others to death?)
Here I sit.
I embrace the truth of the gospel wholeheartedly and selfishly hoard it.
I fatten my spirit and harden my heart and I just. don't. share.
(or care? Because if I don't share I must not care...enough.)
And when someone later asks me how the day went I pause.
Because it certainly didn't go as planned.
My plan was to share. To give. To lose
this excess weight gained in the gluttony of spiritual things,
to exercise this faith
I claim to have.
My plan.
Didn't happen.
Why?
ME.
Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. It was my plan, into which I inserted
the One who has the power to save.
Even the best intentions of sharing the gospel can go awry
when not done under the Spirit's leading.
I wonder how to clean up this mishap then remember:
I don't. I pray. I let go. I hope.
How am I to grow without failing? I learn most often by my mistakes.
Me: weak. Him: strong.
(Surely no chances again soon though.)
But yes. Next day, new person.
(Really God!?)
I open my mouth to speak, then shut it.
Your words,
not mine.
This time.
His Spirit flows,
my mouth opens,
His words speak.
Under the direction of my Master
I am a willing slave 
to the truth that frees.
Having no idea how the situation will turn out
I still choose to surrender myself to His working through me.
For even in the midst of my failures and weaknesses,
in His sovereignty He (still) provides an opportunity
for me to honor Him.

Halfway There!

As you all know, I'm in the process of raising funds for my missions project to Cape Town, South Africa with the Impact Movement! I have to raise a total of $6,000.00 for the trip (which lasts just over a month) by the end of June! Large amount, huh? Well boy do I have an exciting update!! As of this past Thursday, I am now at $3,375.00 exactly!! (God, You are awesome!) I am just loving how He has been putting it on people's hearts to give toward this incredible opportunity for me to share the gospel outside of my regular sphere of influence!! People who I least expect to give having been giving far beyond what I've even asked! All glory be to God. :) I'm really excited to see how the Lord will work out the remainder of these funds!

My Ministry Partner Development coach for the trip sent me something very encouraging called "What Is True of Me." Not only was it a good reminder to me of the what God says in His Word in terms of trusting Him for the funds, but it can also be an encouragement to you all as you lean on Christ's promises during whatever season of life you are in. Here are just a few lines of what was included:

· I serve the Lord God whose resources are infinite (Psalm 50:10-12) and who can abundantly provide. (Ephesians 3:20)

· My team of ministry partners is laying up treasures in heaven and is greater involved in the fulfillment of the Great Commission because of their participation in my life. (Matthew 6:20)

· I am inviting people to be partners in ministry with me by committing their time, prayers, resources and finances to what God is doing in our world. I am not begging for money or asking for a contribution. (1 Thessalonians 1:8)

· My ministry is very significant since people have a need for God. (Matthew 9: 36; Romans 3:23, 6:23)

· My ministry is very significant since I am calling others to consider decisions that will affect their eternal destiny. (John 11:25-26)

· God promises that those who give to my ministry will be more blessed by the giving than I am by the receiving. (Acts 20:35)

· I am an encouragement to my ministry team in their own walks with God as they see what He is doing through me. (1 Thessalonians 1:8)

· God is using me as an opportunity for obedience when others give to my ministry since He has called everyone to give financially to His work regardless of the amount of their personal income. (Malachi 3:8,10; 2 Corinthians 8:1-5)

· As a laborer in the harvest, I am an answer to prayer. (Matthew 9:37-38)

I love the fact that God not only blesses me for my obedience to Him in His service, but He also blesses those who partner in supporting me in my obedience to Him! How cool is that!? :) I get pretty excited about the Lord's work, as you can see hehe. I definitely ask that you guys continue in prayer for the 9 other students who are going on the trip, as well as the staff!! Everyone has to raise nearly the same about of funds (unless of course you've got it like that and can pay out of pocket hehe). This is really an awesome opportunity to exercise our faith in God's ability and provision, as well as His sovereign timing for things. As He stretches our faith in this area, God is making us more flexible in our service, trust, and obedience to Him in all other areas of life! This applies not only to raising money for ministry, but also any test or trial the Lord puts us through. And it's so awesome, because when He comes through, He comes THROUGH! and we're able to point allllllll glory and praise to Jesus for doing the work. My verse for this season? James 5:16b: The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth MUCH! (emphasis mine) Have you guys ever had opportunities to lean on these or other assurances found in Scripture? I'd love to hear about them! I'm so thankful to you guys for the prayers, encouragement, and advice thus far; and I do hope you'll continue in to intercede on behalf of me and my missions team for the remainder of this preparatory time before the trip! :)

**If you are interested in finding out more information on supporting me in prayer or financially in this endeavor, just let me know, and I'll answer any questions you may have!**

"My Life: Perpetua" ~ The Origins

Who knew that coming up with a title for this blog would be so difficult!! In addition to some ideas of my own, I asked several people what it should be, yet I still couldn't seem to decide on anything!! Alas, how frustrating. After taking a break from the back-breaking, mind-numbing (okay, maybe not that serious!) labor of trying to think up an amazing and catchy title, I began to think about women of faith who I look up to and respect because of their walk with God and testimony before Him. The first one who came to mind was Elisabeth Elliot. An amazing woman, but I wanted to think of someone else. That's when the Lord brought to my remembrance a young woman by the name of Vibia Perpetua.

Vibia Perpetua was a young woman who lived during the years of the early church, thought to be only in her early 20s. She had it all: upper class status, marriage to a high ranking man, a newborn baby, her whole life ahead of her! But this young woman had Someone in her life who made all of these seemingly significant details of none effect; that Someone was Jesus. She met her Savior and Lover of her soul, her King and her Lord, the One who showed her where real life is found. And when she found that new life in Christ, she gave her very life boldly proclaiming it, becoming a martyr who was viciously slain for refusing to deny Jesus Christ.

Whoa!! Let's back up here. So Perpetua was young? check. Married? check. Mother? check. High status? check. And a Christian? big check. One of my initial thoughts when reviewing all these details was that surely it wasn't necessary for her to..you know..die.. I mean, really God? She accepted You into her life; You gave her a husband, a child, she was prospering, and she had soo many years to live (well, apparently not...)! She could have told her persecuters that she'd settle down with all the "Jesus talk," and then continue living the way she was before. But at what cost would it have been?
This young woman, in her mere 20-some years on earth, realized something that what I (even after being saved for nearly ten years) am only now truly learning to do--to count as loss all things we hold dear for the sake of Christ and His cross!

So many times we--well, I'll speak for myself, I--will look at people like Perpetua and think things like, 'Wow, she's one of those rare few that God uses to really show a big, extreme faith!!' (emphasis on rare few and extreme). But isn't that what God desires of all of us who claim Him as Lord and Savior? I think about the passage in Mark 8, when Jesus basically tells His disciples, "Hey, if you're trying to follow Me, then you're going to have to deny yourselves!! 'Cause if you're trying to hold on to this temporal life, you're sure to lose life eternal, but if you proclaim Me and My good news, you'll surely save it!" Jesus goes on to explain the consequences for those who choose to deny Him before man here on earth.

Vibia Perpetua understood this, and was brutally martyred for her bold proclamation of the gospel. But it shouldn't be something we consider rare or extreme; God desires to use each and every one of us. We should be living sacrifices for Him (Rom.12.1)! No, not all of us may be called to literally be tortured and to die for Jesus. But if it came to that, would we be willing? Are we grateful enough for Jesus' sacrifice on the cross that we allow our own flesh to die daily, thus allowing ourselves to become fully consumed with Him in order to be continual testimonies of His redemption and grace? When I look at Perpetua, I realize that I don't desire a mediocre Christian life, one content to get spiritually fat, without exercising any spiritual muscle. I want to have a passion, a zeal for my Savior that's so great that I take Him at His Word, counting all things as loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Jesus Christ! This is how I want my faith to be: perpetua (Latin)-unbroken, perpetual, lasting, and continuous in Him.